The Day of the Bandh !

By Manuwant Choudhary

I personally do not think we need a Bharat Bandh...ever since Modi became Prime Minister the markets are barely working...in fact the only person who works in India is just Prime Minister Modi.

With petrol at Rs.86.76 and Diesel at 78.30 and the rupee at Rs.72 per dollar...Ive sent my car to the garage.

And I don't want it repaired anytime soon.

Instead I walk around mostly.

But with the restaurants going to be shut I decided to buy my eateries for the day. So I picked up a can of baked beans and an MTR Dal Makhani which one can microwave, to take care of my day.

But to find a tin opener I had to walk some 10 kms...and I finally found one ...Made in China...

They don't make them in India.

So I wonder what is Modi's Make In India?

Everytime Modi publishes a growth rate..his billionaire friends become multi-billionaires.

And yes apart from billionaires we make space shuttles like Chandrayan and what do you call Mars in Hindi...Mangalayan...

But this morning I overslept for sure...it was silent outside...the bhajiwalas, paperwallahs, batterywallahs, chaadar wallahs, raddi wallahs were all missing.

The pheriwalla have always been a part of the Indian landscape but what has changed now is that earlier there were single or double storey houses, now you have multi-storey apartments, I've noticed how they stretch their vocal chords so they can be heard even on the 6th floor !

But the loudest of them is Mann Ki Baat on All India Radio, replayed on all private radio stations and TV channels.

I am not sure how Modi can help India's economy...but I just love his confidence.

New India by 2022...we will win 2019....we will win for next 50 years !!

As for Pakistan, to save the economy Imran Khan wants to ban import of cheese,

But I love phoren cheese !

Jan Gan Man Ki Baat On Agriculture Loans !

Love Equally Only If You Have Aadhaar Card !

By Manuwant Choudhary

As the Supreme Court landmark judgement came in every landmark  turned rainbow...from Rashtrapati Bhawan, to Parliament to 7 Race Course Road, even Qutub Minar and yes the love monument Taj Mahal...

What a rare moment in India's history when the Supreme Court mentioned the word `individual'.

"I am what I am", words from Chief Justice of India, Shri Dipak Misra.

The court also spoke about another rare item....fundamental rights of citizens...when it said it cannot wait for a majoritarian government to decide on fundamental rights.

And yes Karan Johar reaction was among the first.

Section 377 gone.

The real credit for this whould be given to the brave Delhi High Court which had originally struck this law criminalising homosexuality.

And yes not to forget Shashi Tharoor, the Congress MP, who brought a private members bill in parliament, which was not supported by even his own party.

The bill was defeated hollow.

But this is how a BJP government works...they want the Supreme Court to handle all controversial issues, issues that would expose their hypocricy and agenda.

The RSS also spoke up with a shift in stand...`homosexuality is not a crime, but we do not think its natural'.

But the Supreme Court says `Homosexuality is not a mental problem either.'

Anyways.

I spoke to a Sangh  pracharak about this judgement and asked him if Hindus and Muslims can fall in love now?

He said, "No, this judgement does not allow that..."

Me: "You mean Love-Jihad is not love?"

Pracharak, "We oppose everything thats not natural. Love is not natural, hate is. "

Me: I am confused, so what is natural?

Pracharak: Aadhaar Card !

A Walk In Delhi

By Manuwant Choudhary

Petrol prices touch Rs.86 per litre, the highest ever, so decided its time to walk to work.

And guess what? Just at Connaught Place in Lutyen's Delhi I found someone walk alongside me. First I notice his lanky legs, then his neat pin stripe blue suit, a red tie,  a white trimmed beard, glasses...yes..yes..wow Amitabh Bachchan..India's only real Super Star...

But then I looked again..and no...this is a look alike...a fake...like fake News ! He seemed thinner and lesser than Amitabh, i mean personality-wise.

But as I walked on...I was not that unlucky.

Because I met Amit Shah - India's most powerful man - even more powerful than Modi - the Prime Minister.

Of course, I could not speak to him because he was surrounded by suspicious looking intelligence men and black cat commandos.....SPG or something...but I overheard him ask someone..."Lunch mein kya hai?"

The reply, "JNU canteen se uthaa laoon Saheb?"

Then in the park..I met this man in Dhoti-Kurta...who  was praticing something like how you would spin a cricket ball....I asked him "Sir, you want to be Imran Khan?"

He replied, "Aisa kuch bhee nahin..main to bas aise hee boltaa rehta hoon."

He was Rajnath Singh, India's Home Minister, who speaks with his hands.

So I asked him where is Modiji these days, his reply with a spin, "Wo 14 rashtron ke bhraman pe nikle hain...ho sakta hai wo 26 rashtra ho jaye kyonki petrol bachana hai.."

Just around the corner I met Sushma Swaraj....she is actually the nicest of the lot...India's foriegn minister who is mostly at home...but she is BJPs Mother Teresa....imagine she gives visas to Pakistanis who just twitter her for help !

I did a Namaskar to her. She smiled.

I thought I wouldn't meet anyone exciting anymore...can't be luckier in one day...But then I see someone whom Rishi Kapoor likes, whom Nitu Kapoor likes,  whom Ranbir Kapoor likes. Get that??

Yes, Alia Bhatt.

She was wearing those nice faded jeans with gaping holes in them, either Mumbai has no tailors or too many rats these days? She is India's hottest actress.

On my return journey home I felt like Rahul Gandhi.

I had three khakhi uniformed cops around me....with those acrylic batons...thankfully not chilli powder guns...

Actually I decided to take the Hawa Gaaree, battery-powered auto, and the cops were taking a free ride.

I asked them where is Rahul Gandhi these days and one of them told me he is in Kailash Mansarovar- where there is no hatred....

He is walking 60 kms to Mount Kailash in Tibet....

Everything has an upward trend these days !

Our Freedom Is Gone !

By Manuwant Choudhary

India has just celebrated an independence day but as a citizen I feel we have lost our freedoms.

Even the little we had....

India's constitution had already been amended so many times in the Congress era that just a semblance remained...now thats gone.

So the arrests of activists across India for being `Urban Naxals' does not surprise me.

Not just the activists, every citizen is under house arrest...at least those who cannot afford to buy petrol at Rs.86.

Then a BJP spokesman lets us know that the oil price hikes are to help the economy !

You can become Rashtra Bhakt if you buy petrol !!

And even for those Indians who travel abroad the dollar at nearly Rs.72 is not a happy feeling..

Yet somehow India is growing !!

Yes there is a group of Indians who have grown - friends of Modi - and Amit Shah's son....but for the rest of us..its a struggle...

So its obvious that the opposition parties should get working about how to defeat Modi in 2019, even his politics.

But except for Mamata Banerjee I do not see that ernestness from other opposition leaders.

And then there are those like Nitish and Naveen Patnaik who still believe BJP is winning.

The silver lining is the revolt from within...

First Sharad Yadav who stood up against Nitish Kumar breaking the alliance with RJD.

And then the BJP leaders Yashwant Sinha, Shatrughan Sinha and Arun Shourie who have been bravely warning Indians against Modi and his rule.

The Rashtra Manch is creating a platform to help unite India's opposition parties.

I do not know if they will succeed but Arun Shourie is perhaps the only person who has an upper hand over Karan Thapar !

Like I have noticed there have been more laughter shows against Modi than against any other Indian Prime Minister ! Thats growth I admit...but they all start their shows with a scared look...Modiji ke against bolooon...?"

Forget strong leaders, the typhoon in Japan, the strongest in 25 years,  reminds us of how tiny we all are in the face of nature.

Tik Tik Malish