Denim Shopping !

By Manuwant Choudhary

If there is a right time to wear Denims its now..when winter is still not over...and summer is far away.

But its the one item I don't have.

And where I live there are not too many options.

There is a single a tiny Tommy Hilfiger outlet at Central Mall, several Levis show rooms and a few other Indian brands.

I did like the Tommy Hilfiger jacket. Its material was soft and wearable but the price is around Rs.8000 so beyond my budget.

Then there is the Levis brand but the jackets are all of a lighter shade and the material too rough.

Plus I don't like the stitch or the fit.

So one day I noticed a jacket at the Allen Solly store.

It was the right deep blue I was looking for.

Plus it had a stylish high neck I hadn't seen before.

So I walked in the store to inquire.

I asked the salesman about the jeans only to be told, "Sirji yeh aapke liye nahin hai."
(Sir, this is not for you..)

Me: Then who is it for?

Salesperson: Aapke liye to nahin hee hai...

Me: Tab kiske liye hai...

Salesperson: It is for the young.

Me: But I am young..

Salesperson: Nahin aap to uncle hain...

Me: Nahin main uncle nahin hoon, I can wear denim jackets...

Salesperson: Leave it. Ok how old are you?

Me: 22 !

Salesperson: Ok now you can try it. (The owner shouting that I be given the Large one)

I did try the jacket and it did fit perfectly...

Salesman: (Smiling) Sir aap par to acchhaa dikhta hai...(It looks good on you)

Me: Price kitna hai?

Salesman: Rs.4,500 only.

But ultimately I did not buy it...I was sure it looked good on me but I wasn't sure if the salesman believed I was 22 !

Credit Card Par Paani Puree Doge !

By Manuwant Choudhary

The secret why Patna girls are slim and trim is because they survive on Paani Puree !

For ten or twenty rupees they get five depending on where they buy it from.

But yesterday I heard this young girl, "Credit card par Paani Puree Doge?"

In these hard times even street food is on credit.

But for students living in hostels on a budget money is always scarce so for many Paanee Puree is their only food.

I fully empathise with JNU students protesting the hike in hostel and college fees.

For those living away from home a glass of milk is a luxury !

Like at my street corner a Nepali sells some delicious momos and noodles. Cost Rs.60 for chicken momos and Rs. 50 for a plate of noodles.

Boys hang around his stall gossiping about cricket..the Nepali momo seller only interested in whether his client has won a cricketing bet so he can recover his momo credit !

The coaching centres are bustling and Rahul Gandhi is right when he says the young want jobs.

I too wonder what the future holds for the young in an India with no jobs?

A student in a rickshaw took out her cellphone and I realised in Modis India their dreams are as shattered as their cellphones !

The bazaars are all lit up but business is down..a gentleman asked me when things will improve...I said I don't know.

And finally in BJP ruled Bihar in order to welcome Corona Virus the municipal workers have gone on an indefinite strike.

The Notary !

By Manuwant Choudhary

One of the best legal invention is a Notary.

For a fee and an affirmation of oath an affidavit is made signed by a magistrate and it solves a host of problems.

But not anymore...Modi has created his own network of private sector bureaucrats issuing new forms every day.

Yet the Notary is a respectable man ....he sits generally out in the open even in the winter chill with just a desk and a chair.

The one I go to in Patna is an expert...at his job for decades...but even when you enter the collectorate you have dozens of lawyers shouting if you want an affidavit.

They can recognize their clients from a distance and not necessarily by their clothes.

On a winter morning I sat with one having a cup of tea. The notary is a big man now..he has an assistant...a girl...

As I sat I notice a Muslim gentleman approach him...and they spoke at length...he had some documents ...a constitution...of a new political party he wanted to set up...some Lok Samata Jan Kalyan Party !

All the right words.

I happened to browse over the document and it spoke of Gandhi, Nehru, Jai Prakash Narayan, Lohia, Karpoori....

The Notary told him he would even agree to go to New Delhi to meet the Chief Election Commissioner to get the Party registered...

But I noticed while the gentleman was dead serious about his party..his mind wandered...

He asked the Notary, "Kya aap Swarg Jaane Ka affidavit bana sakte hain?" (Can you make an affidavit to go to heaven too?)

Before the Notary could reply his assistant chipped in..."Lekin Sir, aap to Musalmaan hain to swarg kaise jaiyega? (You are Muslim so how can you go to Swarg?)

The Muslim, "Can't Muslims go to Swarg?"

The girl, "No".

The Muslim, "Acchaa Jannat to jaa sakte hain naa...Swarg aur jannat kya alag jagah hain?"

The Notary a wise man closed the debate, "Swarg ka bhee affidavit yahan banta hai.."

The Muslim backing off...."Jo log sochte bhee hain Swarg jaane ka..wo wahan nahin jaate hain...Sochna bhee gunah hai.." (Those who even think of going to heaven dont go there...even thinking about it is sinful..)

Delhi Voters To Send Rinkiya Ke Papa To Poorvanchal !

Poster war and the Elderly Brahmin!

By Manuwant  Choudhary

'2020 hatao Nitish' is already viral. And now more posters across Patna...a visualisation of a greedy Nitish Kumar.

So I decided to do a survey and most rickshawpullers said they would vote for Laloo. "Saheb lalooji haarte bhee hain phir bhee hum unhein hee vote dete Hain. "

The poor have mostly voted rjd. The business class traditionally bjp are divided now or at least they are debating on why its time to reconsider their core politics .

On an e rickshaw ride i said we must bring laloo back . An elderly gentleman sitting beside me was moved . "I am elderly and a brahmin but i feel like touching your feet."

I was surprised since brahmins rarely vote laloo. Mr. Giri explained how he was a soldier in the Indian army and from his meagre pension he built some rooms illegally from which he earned 3000 rupees. "Lalooji ko bhee pata thaa humara lekin wo use todwaye nahin .Nitish ne sab tod daala humara bhee aur jinka legal thaa uska bhee".

Now Mr. Giri does puja in peoples homes to make ends meet ."My wife is a nurse at PMCH but every morning after she gets ready for work she takes money from me for the rickshaw. Her salary comes only at the end of the month ."

"I am originally from Sonepur but i crossed the ganga because i could not have children . And then like magic i had five sons ....one after the other ... rukta hee nahin thhaa...Iss gareeb ka bojh badh gaya . Aur sab nalaayak nikle. "

"Lekin sabse nalayak to nitish kumar hai. Daaroo band kar diya usne. "
"Saheb daroo to mil hee raha hai. Do glass to pee ke aaya hoon ek sau rupaye mein. Koi pakde mujhe."

And then he looked reflectively. "Duniya kisi ke rokne se ruktee nahin hai. Duniya to chaltee rehtee hai. Aur daroo bhee. Agar koi vyakti ya sarkar duniya  ko rok saktee to pralay ho jaayega."

Babri Masjid & The Maulana Wahiduddin Formula

By Manuwant Choudhary

On the day of Supreme Courts judgement on the Babri Masjid I remember two individuals, first
Maulana Wahiduddin Khan, an Indian Islamic scholar and peace activist, and the second - one of India's greatest jurists - Nani Palkhivala.

When the Babri Masjid was demolished in 1992 I was still a student in Bombay but the riots and everything that followed shaped me in some ways leading me to become a journalist.

And even as a cub reporter I noticed when I attended a presser of L.K. Advani no Indian journalist asked any questions...Mr. Advani would go on and on...a one-way monologue about his parrrrty !

Of course foreign correspondents would ask direct questions and he would reply telling them that the westerrn media had misconceptions about him and his politics.

At one presser I recall asking him about his obscrutionist destructive politics of rath yatras and maha-aartees  and violence.

Mr. Advani heard me out and gave a rather lengthy 10 minute reply.

I wasn't satisfied with what he said but he spoke his mind and attempted to defend his politics shrouded in eloquence, it made it on the bulletin of Doordarshan Marathi News.....(I think we didn't have private news then)

December 6 would be observed a Black Day in Bombay by the Muslim community since it was the day the Babri Masjid was razed to the ground by Hindu mobs.

And every year my editor would send me to report.

Reporting from the other side of the divide introduced me to an India I had not seen.

Mohammad Ali Road, Bhendi Bazaar..and the stories of what happened during the riots...it was always painful.

Once I see this old lady with a begging bowl lying right under the wheels of a truck. The truck itself was on a slope and one slip of the handbrake the lady would be dead.

With some difficulty I managed to convince the lady to come out from under the wheels and I have never seen or met anyone as sad as her....I told her she would die if she begged this way.

She replied, "Ab jee kar kya karoon..marne hee do...mera ek hee ladka tha...aur riot ne use utha liya..." (What will I do with being alive...let me die...I had just one son but I lost him in the Bombay riots..)

So when I heard about Nani Palkhivala's efforts to bring about peace between Hindus and Muslims I was keen to know more about it.

Nani Palkhivala introduced the Maulana Wahiduddin Formula...under this the Muslims would forego their claims over the disputed site and the Hindus in return would sign an undertaking that they would stop this movement in Ayodhya forever.

At one public meeting Mr. Palkhivala even had religious leaders of all faiths on stage for a dialogue.

When a Muslim Maulana got up to speak some BJP/RSS activists began shouting slogans so as to drown the meeting into chaos.

Things seemed to go completely out of hand when Mr. Palkhivala stood up and looked at the Hindu goons in the eye and told them, "What do you know about your religion? Do you know the Vedas and Upanishads?"

The goons sat down.

Then Palkhivala , a Parsi, began quoting from the Vedas....

The hall turned into pin drop silence.

The Muslim cleric could finally complete his dialogue.

Maulana Wahiduddin travelled across India meeting Hindus and Muslims to accept his formula.

Both Hindus and Muslims rejected it.

I too was not satisfied with the Maulana Wahiduddin Formula but with yesterdays Supreme Court judgement I rate the Maulana Formula far higher than the wisdom of five Supreme Court judges.

Because I now understand its spirit..it was about genuine peace.

Blessed are the peace-makers for they shall inherit the earth.

Welcome To Dengueland !

By Manuwant Choudhary

The United States has Dysneyland, India has become one vast Dengueland !

This September a few days of rains turned Bihar's capital into Venice...except there were no boats and no help.

The only aid they got was from strongman Pappu Yadav...whose fledgling political party made a point that the major political parties of India are just useless.

A deputy Chief Minister had to be rescued after 5 days.

The rains kept increasing the water levels...as colonies turned into vast lakes !

Its now been discovered that the older water drains had been destroyed to make narrow drains under the PMs Namomi Ganga Project ! Patna experienced drains were as narrow as the minds of our beloved netas !!

But once the water recede, people were faced with destruction and disease - dengue.

In Patna all hospitals are full of dengue patients and they do not even have enough equipments for platelet transfusion.

Every home has a dengue ward !

The biggest beneficiaries from the floods are car workshops, doctors, hospitals and test labs.

Most testing labs have long queues often distributing reports till 9 pm.

Dengue is caused by mosquito and the symptoms are high fever, body ache, nausea and vomiting and its so tough for the body that many have even died.

Its debilitating.

And there is no medicinal cure.

Herbal cure of all kinds are advised.

In fact in Patna anyone you meet on the streets is a doctor - he will tell you what to try !

The best is papaya leaf juice.

A girl asked her boyfriend, "Do you know of any papaya tree in the city?"

He replied, "Maybe I have seen one..but not sure.."

The other cure is of course papaya fruit... fresh coconut juice...then Australian kiwi.

But what if Modi stops its imports..Swadeshi Jagran Manch !!!!

Delhi is the original capital of Dengue but mosquitos travel...now by Tejas from Delhi to Lucknow and then by Gareeb Rath from Lucknow to Patna.

The railways have just cancelled Gareeb Rath so that only rich mosquitoes can travel by train.

But in Patna Dengue is socialist - it does not discriminate...both rich and poor are affected.

Even swanky Mumbai has 2200 dengue cases in hospitals, Mumbai Mirror reports, quoting Bombay Municipal Corporation.

At test labs all kinds of people are seen discussing dengue..even Muslim dadas in black Pathan suits...heard one of them on the phone, "Agar doctor nahin aata hai to keh do bhai dekh lega !"

But doctor clinics are full..how can the doctor possibly visit patients at home?

In all this someone from Niti Ayog advised Modiji that if he can invite top Bollywood actors to Delhi then the Dengue epidemic will vanish.

So this morning they were all taking selfiies with Modiji...Shah Rukh Bhai, Aamir Bhai... !

Sonamjee is better than smogging !!