Musical Chairs For Congress President!

Instead of elections musical chairs would have been better to select the Congress President. And even there Shashi Tharoor would lose. By the time he would fix his bow tie, shake his hair and think of a new English word for the game, Digvijay Singh would have already grabbed a seat. But if such a game was played then Ashok Gehlot would 🏃 towards Jaipur, not Delhi. And Sachin Pilot does not even have a co-pilots seat! Of course Mallikarjun Khadge may be eighty years old but I have heard him speak in parliament, he knows how to keep his 💺. Loyalty to the Gandhi's is important in the Congress Party. Without loyalty you are nothing. And then there is Rahul Gandhi himself... I heard him, Rubber is not feeling good, palm is feeling bad, oil is bad too, nobody is happy in Kerala. There is a chair being carried for him all the way from Tamil Nadu to Kerala to Karnataka....

Smart Metre, Oversmart Netas!

Just as I got my electric supply restored after paying a whopping Rs 59000 plus charges, I came across a news where Bihar government has ordered the electricity department to give all elected politicians MLAs and MLCs free 2500 units electricity per month! Now Bihar is a state having highest electric tariff per unit roughly Rs 8 per unit. Maharashtra has just Rs 2 per unit. Surely Bihar is poorer than Maharashtra so why charge Bihar more? Besides, if we can have One Nation One Tax, then why not One Nation, One Bijli ka bill ! In Punjab farmers get free electricity to some extent, but in Bihar just because I installed a 10 kw load it's being charged at urban charges, not even rural. India cannot grow because of our parasitic netas out to get something free from the government. Freeloaders! And look at Sabka Saath, Sabka Bikaas in Delhi he is splurging millions to build a new parliament for Hindu Rastra and a safe house with tunnels so he can escape to God only knows where.

BSNL - Miss The Landline?

BSNL is India's government owned telecom service provider which has exclusive monopoly rights over providing landline phones to millions of Indians. In the pre-liberisation period you could get a phone connection only if you were a VIP. But during liberisation and with mobile phones things got better. Anyone could get a land-line. But since Modi became Prime Minister the BSNL is perhaps the most neglected of public sector companies. In Patna in their Patliputra office the bill payment area used to be functional and air conditioned. There used to be long queues to pay bills. Now the staff have been told to go home. The false ceiling has collapsed. But despite all this I tried to get my landline restored. So I paid pending bills and went to meet the telephone SDO. He was a lean chappie and I found him sitting squeezed between five other men. The other five looked well fed and prosperous just like BJP leaders. When I gave my request they looked up and even before the SDO could say anything they said if I could apply for a 5 G broadband connections they would restore the landline in a day. But I did not want a broadband. I simply wanted my landline back. The SDO meekly wrote something on my request letter and passed it on. But even five months later my phone is yet to be restored. As for the five other men their antennas are directly connected to the famous house in Mumbai Antilla ....why would they bother about a land-line ?

Kangojar !

Clearing my garden are a group of women labourers and everytime they pulled the weeds they would exclaim "Kangojar Chhai ", in Bihari. And sure enough I could see worms move in the mud away to safety. But this is a huge problem in a state like Bihar which must be among the poorest states in India with high unemployment rates. Kangojar is a centipede which has its pair of legs on its sides almost like a miniature crocodile. But several legs along its body. But why is it called kangojar? The woman labourers explained, " Jab sutbai tab kaan mein ghus jaye hai "(When you sleep it enters your ears). Of course often leading to the victim becoming deaf. Hence the alarm. But I asked them how does the kangojar crawl into one's ears? And they explained, "Bhuiyaan mein sutbai tab uuu ta ghusbai kartai. " (If you sleep on the floor then its sure to enter.) So why do they sleep on the floor? "Gareeb chhiyeye tab bhuiyaan par nai sutbai tab kahan sutbai? " (We are poor so if we do not sleep on the floor then where else can we sleep?) Beds? I too sometimes like to sleep on the floor but because it's cool during summertime. Although now I am more careful. But there is still something worse than a kangojar entering one's ears. The voice of Narendra Modi on radio saying Sabka Saath Sabka Bikaas!

My OverSmart Electric Metre Reader

The transition from post paid to pre paid electric metres are a tricky business in Bihar and it can burn a large hole in your pocket. Like the bijli vibhaag slapped a Rs 14000 bill even when I was not consuming a single unit. And I had paid Rs 12000 only a few months ago. On a closer look at the bijli bill I noticed the electric metre reader had reported my metre was dead. So I went to take a look and the metreji was very much alive and kicking. So I decided to spend the rest of the day around the bijli office. One helpful accountant asked me to make a two minute video of my metre and then go to another building and show it to a lady there. I made the video and went to the lady officer. She looked at the video closely taking down the reading on it. She then entered the same onto the computer and then took out a fresh bill. Pronto it had a surplus of Rs 4500 ! For the next two months I did not have to pay a paisa! A lucky day.

My OverSmart Electricity Metre!

First it took months and years to get a new electric connection and when the electric metre arrived I was told it was a Smart Metre Prepaid so that henceforth there would be no disputes over bills. Rs 8000 was taken as a security deposit for a 10 kw three phase domestic connection. Then for a year the Smart Metre simply continued supplying electricity even without a recharge of even Re 1. On enquiry I was told that the deposit amount was being deducted. After one full year a mechanic came and took a photo of the metre and informed that now the prepaid metre will be activated and henceforth I would have to make prepayment. Sure enough within a week the electricity was disconnected in March this year. So I made a payment of two thousand as prepayment Then the connection was restored. Then I made another payment of Rs 2000 and then Rs 1000 . All the time theApp showed positive balance. Then suddenly the electric supply stopped. On enquiry I was sent a bill of Rs 69000 only. A closer examination of the bill revealed a wrong address, a wrong telephone number so I sent my lawyer to the electric department. The SDO apologised but said he was helpless. The smart metre had simply not charged me anything. Then yesterday the junior engineer visited my home and explained. He apologised and said he is to blame for the fiasco. But now until I make full payments the connection cannot be restored. But thankfully the actual bill is now Rs 59000 and not 69000. He corrected the address and phone number and promised accurate billing in the future. Kabhi kabhi BSNL SIM fail ho jaata hai. Then he called up someone pleading to restore my connection. Kabhee kabhee sar jhukana bhee padta hai, he told his senior. I had planned to sue the department for Rs 400000 over the non functional Smart Metre but now I am simply going to pay up and get the bijli back. Until then managing on solar battery!

Indian Government Exports Wheat Meant For Poor!

Indians are not receiving their quota of wheat since the Indian government is exporting them. Earlier each individual would receive 4 kilos of wheat per month at the rate of Rs 2 per kilo. But with market prices of wheat at Rs 30 to 35 per kilo the subsidy on foodgrain has risen by at least 28 rupees per kilo. There is even a shiny like glass wheat in the market for Rs 35 per kilo. The shopkeeper said its from Ukraine ! So individuals are getting only a kilo of wheat per month from the public distribution system. This is hardly enough to meet the nutritional needs of a person. The government buys wheat from farmers at Rs 19 per kilo and often indirectly. Last year I tried selling my wheat to a government committee but I was told I would have to first pay them a bribe of Rs 2 per kilo only then would they begin purchase. So it's not surprising that Bihars agriculture minister says that he is the Chief of Thieves. Choron ka Sardar! Biscuit companies have reduced the number of biscuits in a pack by a quarter without increasing the Rs 10 price per pack. Nahin to Indians biscuit khana bhee chod denge.