Occupy !

By Manuwant Choudhary

My editor commissioned me to visit USA to get the inside story on the Occupy Movement and so here I am at the Wall Street....

Me squatting with an Occupier: Hello, I am a junior reporter from India and I would like to ask you a few questions if you don't mind.

Occupier 1: Shoot.

Me: Can you tell me the inspiration behind the Occupy movement...like is it China because they occupy Tibet or is it India and Pakistan because they Occupy Jammu & Kashmir?

Occupier: No, no....we are not Occupier's like that....We are different kind...

Me: But how...at least you are leftist like the politicians in India and China.

Occupire: No, no...politicians in India and China love the Wall Street. the World Bank, the IMF...we hate em all.

Me: You mean China and India love Tibet and Kashmir so they occupy but you occupy only places you hate...

Occupier: Right..you are close but we are still different...

Me: Okay, okay who is your leader.

Occupier: Our Leader is a website!

Me: What how can a Leader be a website!

Occupier: yes, yes, thats why we all sit here with our ipads and iphones and Macs....

Me: And whats his name?

Occupier: Occupytogether.org

Me: You mean you do whatever they write on this website.

Occupier: yes.

me: But I here you sent some team to India to find out the places you hate most in India.

Occupier: yes, yes, we did and we found a lot. I was part of the team.

me: tell me like what...

Occupier: Like Indian trains are occupied to full capacity still they make a loss.

Me: And?

Occupier: Like the train toilets are forever occupied ...

Me: You mean they are in use...

Occupier: Used only sometimes, but mostly people without tickets travel in them.

Me: Did you actually see a toilet?

Occupier: I did and learnt a lot.

me: Like what..

Occupier: Like when the British occupied India they built the train system so that Indians could shit all over their country...they have holes in them..you can even check the train speed.

Me: I have not come all the way to talk about train toilets. My source tells me that you guys want to occupy the Indian parliament.

Occupier: Yeah, we thought we would do that..but the Indian parliament is already occupied !