The Foreigner !

By Manuwant Choudhary

I am not sure why but I have these photos of Kashmir lying on my bedside table for years from a road trip 20 years ago. I also keep this  laminated photo of my late editor Behram Contractor.

So sometimes I browse through them and wonder how much India has changed. The other day I was chatting with a 28 year old girl from Dehradun who said she is a journalist, a field researcher and an investigative reporter.

But when I told her there are very few journalists in India these days she insisted there are many and the numbers keep growing.

Its only later that she got it, "Oh you mean unbiased reporting. Nobody buys that anymore. Also you must make enough dough to survive. Today we work for corporates and political parties to help them disguise information as the truth."

Amazing.

But I think 20 years ago journalists had some respect I think. The only time someone called it a business was one activist from the Narmada Bachao Andolan who asked me, "Aapka business kaisa chal raha hai?"

I looked at him startled, "Like what business? I am a reporter." (In fact, my newspaper lost some big advertisers because of my reporting)

But I have always been a student of Kashmir so this journey remains among my favourite.

It was a solo trip on a day Kashmir was oberving a Black Day and I took the only Ambassador going from Jammu to Srinagar.

All along the journey I worried about what might happen in the next 5 minutes but the anxiety grew as we reached Srinagar.

I had never been there before and knew no one.

As I got down from the car a man looking like an Afghan receives me and tells me, "You are a journalist. You will be going to Ahdu hotel. But I own a houseboat and if you don't mind I'd like you to stay there. If you don't like it then I will drop you to Ahdu."

I stayed in the houseboat. The next morning I took a bus from Srinagar to Leh.

The houseboat owner booked the bus ticket and a window seat for me.

But when we got onto the bus I saw a foreigner sitting on my seat.

The Kashmiri fought with her for me..no one has ever fought on my behalf as much.

Its only when I told him to let her have the seat that he cooled off. 

I took another seat.

On way there were many checkpoints and Indian soldiers would get on an off checking the bus. One checkpost even had a photograph of Iran's Spiritual leader Ayatollah Khomeini !

Midway from Srinagar to Kargil some Gurkhas got onto the bus and they asked for IDs from every person on the bus.

And I mean every person.

Until he came to the Swiss girl.

She showed him her Swiss passport.

The Gurkha guard turned his gun towards a gentleman sitting beside her. He shouted, "Passport?"

He replied, No passport."

The Gurkha getting angrier, "Passport..please show.."

Its only when other passengers intervened that the Gurkha laughed out loud, "Oh, sorry you Kashmiri. I think you foreigner. "

I must be the only passenger on the bus who was not asked for an identity card or passport.

I still wonder why.

Wanted Chanakya & Chandragupta to Save India

Narendra Modi's Purple Cow

My Acche Din !

By Manuwant Choudhary

A month ago I booked a doctors appointment by paying Rs.800 but when I went to see him yesterday he refund the full fees !

Now this is what I call an Acche Din.

Of course his assistant did not seem to be too happy with the doctors decision...but he seemed upset about the government as well.

 Anyone who approached him for any work he would simply tell them, "Nayee sarkar banne do to kaam hoga...purana sarkar bana to nahin hoga." (Let the new government be formed then I will do the work. If the old one comes back then I will not do the work.)

But since I felt good I decided to complete my useless errands like paying uitility bills...I am still not digital.

First I went to the Bijli (Electricity) Vibhaag, where often the electricity goes off just when I reach the pay counter...Bijli Gul, Metre Chaaloo...is that the name of a Bollywood film ?

Swachch Bharat has not arrived here ...the place smells of urine..and you have to climb a flight of stairs before you can get your duplicate bill.

A girl wearing a sleeveless kurti played video games when I disturbed her for a bill...an old printer creaked and croaked just like this govt...before the bill was printed.

I hurried downstairs to stand in queue when I notice  the bill amount to be only Rs.134/- Now thats not even worth standing in a queue?

So I left.

Next stop Bharat Sanchar Nigam Limited.

My landline has been out of order for as long as I can remember. But I religiously pay the bills. Its the best bet to prove my residential status and in these hard times even my Indian citizenship.

Two ladies man the counters for decades, they've never been transferred. One was missing but the second lady print my bill.

An old man received my payment when he tells me "Aaapka paisa to sarkar ke yahan bachaa hai..You don't have to pay anything."

Still I paid Rs.600 just to add the credits but i asked him how I could at least get my phone to work.

On his advice I met the telephone SDO, who informed me that my phone is currently suspended but I must take my Rs.600 back because otherwise its a rather long process of refund. He has promised to fix my phone.

It looked like no minister had ever visited the BSNL the last five years.

Just then I get a message on my cellphone. Its from Ravi Shankar Prasad asking me to vote for him.

But isnt he the minister for BSNL??????

A dozen workers sat below near the entrance looking all glum so I asked them if BSNL is going to be shut by the government. One of them replied, "Let them do what they want. We will survive. Sirf 399 ka mobile unimited Rs.1000 ka ho jayega...."

Another replied, "Yeh sab Mukesh Ambani ke liye kar rahe hain wo.."

Near Patna's Gandhi maidan i see this horse which resembled Lord Ram's Aswamedha Yagya Horse...the horse released by ancient kings to conquer the world.


The horse is let loose and free to roam the world not to be caught by anyone. If anyone dares to catch it, he faces the wrath of the king and his army. Its war.

In the mythology Ramayana, Ram's horse was caught by two kids in a jungle !

And the kings bravest men could not defeat them in war.

Its only when Hanuman is sent that he sees the two kids are actually sons of Lord Ram himself...from Sita...

So you don't need Shatrughan Sinha to stop Modi, his two sons are enough....Luv & Kush.

Piloo Mody - The Mody Who Should Have Been India's Prime Minister !

Rang De Basanti - Roobaroo - The Last Song

Kindness In The Air

By Manuwant Choudhary

I am not really a frequent flier but whenever I do have to travel,  I do not find it easy.

Right from planning to booking  tickets and the most difficult - packing.

And then the travel agent asking, "Sir, would you like a Corporate ticket? Rs.500 extra you will get a complimentary meal."

I say politely, "No Corporate please. I am a farmer."

But wait, "Why should only Corporates get a meal?"

Farmers after all don't they grow all that food?

And then of course reporting two hours in advance to a long queue at an Airport called Jaiprakash Narayan Antarashtriya (International) Hawai Adda (where no international planes land or take off).

The runway is so short that when even domestic planes land they have to come to a s screeching halt or they might crash into the cows of Patna Veternary College !

Its named after Jaiprakash Narayan, the veteran socialist, who fought the emergency and dethroned Indira Gandhi through a slogan `Sampoorna Kranti.'

No Indian has fully understood the meaning of his slogan yet, so this airport is completely designed to make you get a feel of what he may have meant.

From the toilets to the security checks to the glass waiting areas its so crowded that sometimes you will not have standing space and the expensive samosas sold at the Fair Price Shop is avoidable.

But if you just ponder a while..you will get the sense of the what JP really meant by Sampoorna Kranti (Total Revolution)

On board a private airline Spicejet the scene dramatically changes...pretty airhostesses in red welcome you on board...sometimes not too attentively but thats ok...it must be tough smiling all the time.

So I take a seat, relieved to be finally there.

Even as other passengers get thinking as to what they want from the airhostess and the bells start lighting up across the aisle, I never ask for anything.

I never have.

But like others I was thirsty.

Just then a pretty airhostess walked right up to the front and picked up a glass of water.

It looked as though some passenger had asked for it at the rear or she wanted a drink for herself. Since the flight was yet to take off.

But suddenly she stopped and offered the water to me.

I wasn't too sure whether I should accept it or not.

What followed was a two minute uneasy silence...with everybody looking....and then I finally gave in....and took the water.

I said Thank You.

She smiled.

On my return flight the check in staff of Jet Airways...looked at me as though I had booked a wrong flight.

She asked, "Are you sure you are flying economy."

Me: "Yes, I think thats what the ticket says."

She, "Can you wait for 30 minutes. Give me your number I will call you. The flight is so full today."

I was not sure why I was being offloaded.

But then she finally gave me my boarding pass.

Its when I got on to the plane I realised she had given me the best seat in economy..more leg room and I could see and smell the freshness of the Business Class !

With so much kindness all around I felt I looked like Ranbir Kapoor.

But I may be wrong because a friend told me they were kind only because of my greying hair...