Ho Sadho!

Election Fever !

I wonder why elections are always at the height of summer, even disrupting the harvest season. And then it stretches over months... disrupting the economic life of the nation. Whatever happened to One Nation, One Election! The only one who seems to be campaigning in right ernest is Nitin Gadkari. But like the old cars he wants to scrap hope the voters send him to the Tata scrapyard in Nagpur. Then there is kangana Ranaut who is more often in the news for eating beef! And then Mohua Moitra who campaigns in her ever crisp sarees and 🕶 sunglasses. I do hope voters send her back to parliament so the Ethics Committee can get active again. Does the Ethics Committee have a say on Electoral Bonds? And no Modiji has not stopped the war. It's the Swiss who have taken the initiative to get Russia and Ukraine to the table. Modiji, the Russian oil buyer ,is invited.

Dogs Fighting Robot!

My Demanding Dog 3 !

Me: Why wouldn't Bhutan give Modiji their highest award? Afterall Modi has given 10000 crore to Bhutan and that's not jumla like he gives in Bihar,it's real cash. Lobsang : Only Bhutan believes in Modiji La Guarantee? But at least he won't be banning their ferocious mountain dogs. Me: It's not about dogs, silly. I mean how long can the people remain 90 per cent happy without jobs? The Bhutanese too are migrating. So their king wants Mukesh Ambani to set up factories. And the Prime Minister wants Anil Ambani to build a township. Lobsang : But isn't Anil Ambani bankrupt ? And don't Indians too need jobs? Me: Shhhh.....Stop... Don't even talk about jobs. They will ban you. Lobsang looking scared: Just buy electoral bond please.... Me: I'm not sure how it all works. See the company gave money to BJP but they arrested Arvind Kejriwal. Lobsang: You are just being kanjooos. At least buy Rs 1000 electoral bond. Me: You mean like that girl Poonam Agarwal... Do you want me to go to jail? Anyone who buys Rs 1000 electoral bond must be an investigative journalist. Concluded.

My Demanding Dog 2!

My dogs name is Lobsang and I adopted him from a Tibetan settlement down south so I am even more surprised... Me: I do love you but you are not allowed to meddle in our politics. Whenever you've asked for a momo or thukpa I have got them for you... But electoral bond? Lobsang: You simply do not understand the urgency. Me: I think you have been eating too much of those Italian blueberry yoghurt wafers. Better you switch to Parle G. Lobsang: You are so rich you could easily buy a few bonds. Me: Ah no rich. I am poor Indian farmer like Deve Gowda.. At best I can write a biography Between Burrows! Lobsang : I think you don't read the news. Me: That's true. News these days is only about ED, IT, CBI... arrests. Yes only those who fear arrest donate electoral bonds. Who will ever arrest you? Lobsang: We are worse. Modiji has banned some 30 dogs... Banned means death sentence. Me: But you are hardly dangerous... Lobsang : That's not the point. See even Bhutan has given Modiji it's highest civilian award Dasho Order of the Druk Gyalpo or something.... And you can't even buy an electoral bond. To be continued....

My Demanding Dog !

Of late my dog has been pestering me to buy an electoral bond! Me: But why? I am not an Adani or Ambani or even the South liquor lobby. Doggy : No but everyone is buying it so why don't you buy also. Besides elections are round the corner. Political parties do need money to fight elections. Me: That's true but even the Congress Party needs money. See how they have blocked their bank accounts. Doggy: Don't think so much. Just buy. Me: Look I am a reasonable person but if you ask me for Gorkhaland can I even give that to you? Doggy: I am not asking for Gorkhaland. I have never even been to Darjeeling. I think my demand is pretty reasonable... Me: Look even if I agreed I still do not want to stand in line at SBI. Doggy : It means you do not love me.... to be continued.....

Attack On Democracy in India

All I Want Is To Ride My Bicycle!

The other day a boy ran into my business premises shouting and crying. A mob followed him attempting to forcibly carry him away. The boy shouted and howled and kicked as hard as he could to escape. It was like a kidnapping scene from film Apharan. I intervened and threatened the mob that I will call the cops. Just then they informed me that the boy had run away from school and all they were trying to is return the boy to his grandfather. An old man appeared and explained how he paid so much money to send the boy to a private school in Darbhanga. But everytime I drop him he escapes. At home he has a bicycle and all he does is ride all day. The mob that followed the boy was illiterate. Drop out rates from school are very high. Even if you do not trust government figures it is still high at 12.5 per cent. It was more than 20 per cent in 2014. In the tenth standard it is as high as 49 per cent in Orissa and 42 per cent in Bihar. Most leave Bihar to work as labourers in the big cities. However, one aspires to be the Chief Minister of Bihar. And one is the Prime Minister of India. Arvind Kejriwal calls him Chauthha Pass Raja!

Education On An Egg Per Week !

A lady cooks lunch for students studying at a government school in Bihar so casually I asked her what children get for lunch. She replied, "Generally it is just rice and sabzi, aloo gobi. Sometimes there is dal too. " One labourer a parent said, "Dal is only in name.. It's so patla... almost like Ganga jal. " He added, "First they gave two eggs per week but now they give egg only on Fridays." "Also they don't allow children to take the egg home. " But why? "Because their parents would eat it. " After Bihar's new secretary K. K. Pathak has taken charge sometimes a school inspector visits the school I wish they would give an egg per day. How much can you study on an egg per week. Surely Naya Bharat can afford that.... Then we can all shout Bharat Mata Ki Jai !

Bag Shopping In Patna

The other day I went bag shopping in Patna. So far I have only purchased three bags in my life so you can see I am quite particular about my bags. And one backpack was a gift by Omega during my reporting days. But I much prefer the sling office bags, not the laptop bags you get these days. Benetton did have those bags earlier. Rockport bags are the best, nicely padded and long lasting. But the only Rockport showroom in Patna shut down 20 years ago. My last bag was from Blackberry and it served me well. Patna has a swanky new mall now so I went to check out American tourister... The salesman was helpful but I could not get what I wanted. So he asked me the purpose of my bag. I explained, "It should be big enough for files that bring down governments. " He smiled, "Sir, yahan toh sarkar khud gir jaatee hai. Aur phir ban bhee jaatee hai !"

Barauni Junction Ke Kutte

The stray dogs at Bachhwaara junction are man eaters. But the one's at Barauni Junction are politicians. At lunchtime on platform no 24 even while high speed Vande Bharat trains make their halts they gather for their daily discourse. And then it all begins. First a gentle growl.. followed by two... and then two dozen of them start fighting. Even as scared passengers move away. A policeman looks the other way. The dogs fight like for their life. And the fight moves slowly in One Direction only. Until they reach the other end where a man is eating lunch. The dogs trample his food plate. The man curses and walks away in disgust. Then the fight stops. The dogs together eat the food, as if there was no fight at all. Right now they are all in Patna.... for the floor test...

The Land of Rama ?

In 1992 when mobs demolished the Babri Masjid they in fact destroyed not just a mosque but also Hinduism, a liberal and tolerant way of life. But that was not all. 30 years later when the Supreme Court of India decided the Ram Janmabhoomi Babri Masjid case we saw how India's judiciary too had been demolished. Of course the court order is a court order to be respected by all parties but after this one wonders if Indian courts will be respected the way it was earlier as a custodian of our constitutional rights. The Muslims have been given no choice but to bear the pain. In fact under this majoritarian regime minorities are not protected at all. We have seen assaults and riots like never before. As a new temple emerges from the debris of a mosque the government of India has shifted it's capital to Ayodhya. A new airport, a new train station and new roads have been built to welcome Ram Lalla. The airwaves are full of Sanskrit shlokas and one presenter informed how Maharishi Manu is the founder of the city of Ayodhya. And yet in my dream I saw Ram Lalla playing on the vacant space allotted to the Muslims to build their mosque. So I feel like donating to the mosque committee, as they plan to build a Cancer Hospital along with a masjid.

Infant Death By Anganwadi

A girl child born on Dhanteras just three months old died a few days ago. She was the daughter of my staff's brother. My staff informed me that she must have died from the cold. But when I told him this winter it's hardly cold he told me two days before her death some Anganwadi staff of the government had inoculated her. When I enquired a doctor told me inoculations are avoided if baby has fever or sick otherwise it can react. Causes for infant deaths can be many but in India infant deaths are high is a matter of shame. In 2001 Gujarat had a very high infant deaths 60 per thousand live births. But in 2020 it's reduced to 23 deaths per thousand live births. Bihar has 27 deaths per thousand. While Madhya Pradesh where every other yojana is called Laadlee something has 47 deaths per thousand. Of course Gujarat figures could be higher because everything including GDP is rigged these days. I remember as a Reporter I was asked to report on Millennial Baby in the year 2000. So from 11 pm I waited inside the Patna Medical College Hospital. From midnight onwards several babies were born but they all died. So the first millennial live baby we got was in the morning 6 am, it just showed how far behind we are in everything, sadly health care and nutrition are still neglected.