Wednesday, February 29, 2012

Good People Party



By Manuwant Choudhary

The other Gandhi..Varun...is perhaps the only BJP politician who is been making the right noises and the BJP is worried that they may have to make him the next chief minister of Uttar Pradesh and if they don't then all the good people from all the parties would simply start a new party called the Good People Party.

Varun says there are good and bad people in every party so all the good people should get together to form a new party called the Good People Party.

So I met him this morning to help him locate the good people.

The first good man who came to my mind was our Prime Minister Dr. Manmohan Singh but Varun shot his name down...

Varun: "Dr. Singh is not a good man anymore..see how he threw the German out of India for opposing India's nuclear energy project..."

Me: What about Advaniji?

Varun: I am not like Ravishankar who shows respect to Advaniji only on national TV..and he is my leader...but we have to think of all the people of India and many in India think he was a good man only before he went on his Rath Yatra.

Me: What about Vajpayeeji?

Varun: Vajpayeeji is a bachelor so he can't be that good.

Me: And that Narendra Modi, see how he has developed Gujarat...

Varun: Narendra Modi does nnot like to be a good man...he likes to be a bad-man good chief minister of Gujarat !

Me: And what about Nitish Kumar?

Varun: Nitish is only good for the newspapers..journalists have to sit in their offices and without writing anything they get crores of rupees worth of ads.

Me: And Mamata Didi?

Varun: Aah, you mean you are not aware of her nephew who slapped the traffic police.

Me: What about those BJP MLAs who watch porn in the assembly?

Varun: Are you mad? Imagine starting a Good People Party with them as founding members.

Me: Ok, Ok your brother-in-law Robert Vadra..surely he is a good man..and he has been saying that if the people want him he would like to serve them through politics.

Varun: Aah, you think any businessman can be a good man..even when they talk of service..they have some telecom service in mind. I have given you the criteria why dont you find at least two good people and come back tomorrow.

Me: Sure I will try and see.

Varun (Next Day): Have you found them?

Me, Yes, yes, Rahul Gandhi and Priyanka !

Tuesday, February 28, 2012

India's Angry Baba's !



By Manuwant Choudhary

Everyone seems angry this election season but I like an angry Ramdev Baba the most not because I support his socialist ideas but because when he is angry he attacks the establishment like very few have in recent years.

And after the Supreme Court indictment of the police action at Ram Leela grounds Ramdev seems to be having the last word.

In Goa against a large hoarding `Save Goa' the Baba talks about not just saving Goa but also bringing back the black money stashed away in foreign banks so that India can have a tax free regime for 20 years !

The Baba may be a businessman but definitely no economist but he rattles off the figures in crores to impress his listeners with much confidence and in between tells them in simple terms how the Indian government through inflation is cheating everyone, simply by printing money the economy can little afford.

The past few months have been particularly bad for India's Congress government with the Supreme Court cancelling 122 telecom licences and pulling up the government almost every day. But government ministers on television debates defend the government saying the government has not been indicted.

And this is what Ramdev Baba tells his followers, "Yeh jo kendra sarkar hai yeh gaon ke uss aadmee kee tarah hai jise jooton ka maala pehna kar, gadhe pe baitha kar poore gaon mein ghumaya jaata hai poore din aur sham mein wo aadmee kehta hai ki jaante ho aaj meri izzaat aaj jaate jaate bachee."

(Its like the story of the man who is taken around the village on a donkey and made to wear a garland of shoes but in the eveining he says that you know my respect was just saved today.)

As for an angry Rahul Baba he tears up a piece of paper saying its the Samajwadi Party manifesto but a close-up reveals the paper had names of leaders of his own party. Socialist too !

But the real people who are angry are the family members of the fishermen who get mistakenly killed by Italian guards thinking they were pirates and now India's foriegn minister is trying to resolve the murder with his Italian counterpart.

And why not, otherwise Sonia would be angry !

Wednesday, February 15, 2012

Tibets Human Butter Lamps



By Appu Jacob John

Kochi: The 17th Wellbeing medical camp organised in collaboration with Men-Tsee-Khang, the Tibetan Medical and Astrological Institute of HH the Dalai Lama and Friends of Tibet (Kerala) was held at Ashirbhavan, Ernakulam from March 8-11, 2012. The camp was successful as a large number of patients got cured by the medical care provided by the doctors and nurses at the camp. The camp in that sense can be called in as a great success. A rest for many with painful ailments, weariness and such problems of the body and the mind.

But even when we are receiving the essential 'rest' (Swasthya) in India, the condition in the parent land of this rest is burning profusely — often spewing lava. A recent newspaper report showed that the monks who were given permission to travel to India to attend the Kalachakra Initiation led by His Holiness the Dalai Lama were questioned intensively suspecting indoctrination by the Chinese. This has created a wide spread 'unrest' (Aswasthya) in Tibet.

This unrest in Tibet didn't start on all of a sudden. It had started many years back — from the very first days of Chinese colonisation in the 1950s. The unrest was in its pinnacle with the Mustang Rebels of 1970s, the Monalam 'Riots' of 1980s and the Lhasa 'Riots' of 2008. All these were brutally suppressed by the military regime in China.

A recent development in this issue is the self-immolation of 20-odd Tibetans protesting the Chinese rule. Monks, nuns and ordinary citizens have set themselves ablaze. In India we have seen the 'Goswamy Self-Immolation Act' as the then Prime Minister VP Singh wanted to enforce the Mandal Commission Report. This ended the mandala of the report. No such response was there in China only an official denunciation of the agitators as right wing extremists. Phew!

On this occasion the Tibetan Parliament, Kashang, and the Prime Minister or the Kalon Tripa has issued statements regarding self immolations inside Tibet. They have requested the Tibetans not to celebrate the Tibetan New Year — Losar, which falls on February 22. The Tibetans and their friends have set apart February 8, 2012 as a day of prayer and peaceful protest against what is happening in Tibet. They have been asked to request the governments to voice the cause of Tibet in world forums like that of the UN as well as organise awareness camps in their residing countries.

As part of the above mentioned global call, the medical camp in Kochi offered extra prayers by Dr Dorjee Rapten Neshar and Dr Tenzin Norbu of Men-Tsee-Khang. The patients were told about the importance of the date and were made aware of the tragic situations in Tibet. The Tibetans residing in Kochi organised a one-day fast in front of the Kerala High Court. However nobody cared much. After all who are the Tibetans? It is as Tenzin Tsundue had mentioned in his poem — nobody is bothered about the Tibetan identity.

Are we too like that? Butter lamps are offered in Tibetan temples as part of their prayers. Are we avoiding the Tibetans burning themselves as butter lamps at the alters of human consciousness and basic human rights? Are we not the 'largest democratic nation' or are we just the 'largest nation of the heartless'? Its time we stopped speculating and started thinking for possible answers. If not we too are responsible for the sacrifice of the Tibetans.

Appu Jacob John is a Friends of Tibet Campaigner and writer based at Kottayam, Kerala. He can be reached at appu.john@friendsoftibet.org.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .

Friends of Tibet is a people's movement to keep alive the issue of Tibet through direct action. Its activities are aimed at ending China's occupation of Tibet and the suffering of the Tibetan people. Friends of Tibet supports the continued struggle of the Tibetan people for independence. Friends of Tibet is also one of the principal organisers of World Tibet Day around the world.

AN APPEAL TO INDIA'S PRIME MINISTER - SAVE THE GANGA



By Manuwant Choudhary

The other day a freind took me out for lunch to Bankipore Club in Patna located on the banks of the river Ganga but when we got there there was no Ganga, for miles we could see just mustard fields and now only during monsoons does the Ganga touch Patna...it got me worried...and I immediately recognised that there was insufficient water in the Ganga and that is the reason why the Ganga changes course.

But our elected representatives do not see this.

They believe in building dams and destroying our natural resources.

NOTE: Everything the government touches is bound to be destroyed and so it is with building dams...the governemnt thinks that by harnessing the energies of the river...they can control it..but what they don't realise is that governemnts are simply useless..they create more problems than solve.

Governments often are the problem.

And now in a few days Nitish Kumar is inviting the Nepal Maoist Prime Minister Baburam Bhattaraii to be Chief Guest a Global Meet only to impress upon him to build a high dam in Nepal to prevent floods in Bihar.


I am not really sure how this will help.

Maybe in the years to come Bihar will beg for water from Nepal.

What Bihar needs to do is harness its catchment areas and build an irrigation network not using large canals but smaller iron pipelin which will criss-cross Bihar and water will be pumped to farmers making Bihar the granary of India and the world.

So when I got this petition I felt immediately connected to the cause. Swamy Gyan Swarup Anand is on a fast unto death to save the Ganga and activists are now holding candle-light vigils outside the Prime Minister's House.

But notice even in UP elections politicians do not even mention this great river.

Rahul Gandhi wears a beard to win Muslim votes and talks about never leaving UP until it changes (government changes).

Priayanka twitches her mother Sonia Gandhi's cheeks and praises BJP ruled states.

Maya behenji..talks of how the people should never vote for the Congress and just vote for her until she becomes Prime Minister.

BJP and Mulayam are all interested is somehow getting a share of the UP pie.

No mention of the Ganga.

So this citizens initiative on the Ganga focusses on a real issue that determine India's future.

Dear Prime Minister Dr Manmohan Singh,

We the undersigned express solidarity with the tapasya of Swami Gyan Swarup Anand involving fast unto death to save river Ganga from total destruction.

We are deeply pained by the fact that you have failed to honour your promise of giving the protection due to Ganga after it was officially declared as the "national river".

We are disturbed by the fact that the high powered National Ganga River Basin Authority (NGRBA) headed by yourself has failed to live up to its mandate and proved as effete as the earlier Authority created for implementing the Ganga Action Plan.

We condemn the wasteful and non transparent manner in which thousands of crores of rupees are being mis spent or siphoned off under the garb of “Cleaning Ganga”. This sacred waters of Mother Ganga need no cleaning. All that is needed is that the government agencies stop destroying the river in the fragile Himalyas by building bumper to bumper dams and polluting it with sewage and industrial effluents.

We demand that:

Ganga waters be allowed to flow freely in the Himalayas and plains: Ganga ko aviral behne do — in order for its water to retain their purity. Blocking their flow through dams and an endless series of tunnels deadens the water. Even aquatic life does not survive in such waters. River water retains its purity by constant exposure to the sun, air and its own riverbed.
Scrap with immediate effect all the under-construction projects at Alaknanda Ganga, Vishnu-Ganga, Nandakini Ganga and Mandakini Ganga. The government must ensure that no such projects are undertaken on Ganga and its tributaries--Alaknanda, Mandakini and Bhagirathi-- that disrupt the natural flow of its waters.
Ensure that the speed of the flowing water from Narora to Prayag is not less than 100 cubic meters per second. At festive sites during special sacred occasions such as Magh Mela, Kumbh and Parv-Snaan, the speed of water should be, at a minimum, 200 cubic meters per second.
Stop diverting through canals 90% of the river water for irrigation purposes because that destroys its ecological flow. Only a small fraction should be diverted for irrigation.
Stop the sanction of grants passed for the supposed cleaning of Ganga till such time as an honest review is undertaken of the money thus far spent and a transparent and accountable system for using the funds in a purposeful manner has been put in place.
Stop pouring sewage into the sacred waters of Ganga. Let sewage water be treated and used for non-domestic purposes.
Shift the industries that pour poisonous and polluted waters into the river from their current location to at least fifty kilometers radius away from the river. Their effluents should not be allowed to come anywhere near Ganga waters even after treatment.
Undertake massive reforestation of the highly denuded and endangered Himalayas in order for them to sustain the various rivers that originate there and prevent landslides.
Declare immediate moratorium followed by a total ban on land use change of Ganga's, including its tributary Yamuna's, flood plains.
Undertake massive greening and beautification of the banks of river Ganga and its sister river Yamuna in all the cities and towns through which this holy river passes.
Make it mandatory for every city, town and village to undertake systematic water harvesting. This will ensure that the bulk of their water requirements are met from what they have harvested locally and that the upstream towns and cities will not need to suck away all the fresh waters of our sacred river.
Treat Ganga with the respect it deserves after being accorded the status of "National River" (Rashtra Nadi) and nurture it as the most revered symbol of Indian civilization.
Enact a strong law in parliament to ensure it gets the special care and concern appropriate to a national river. The law should force the governments of all the states through which Ganga passes to take necessary steps for the efficient management of the river and protection of its waters.

Friday, February 10, 2012

Wednesday, February 8, 2012

Pornutva


By Manuwant Choudhary

Three senior BJP cabinet ministers resign in Karnataka after caught on camera watching porn clips on their 3 G cellphones in the assembly..so now the BJP is a divided house..So i went to meet the 3 BJP leaders to find out what they were really upto...

BJP minister 1: Its not unusual for us to watch porn clips in the assembly..its just that yesterday you people were allowed in and some TV wallah saw us...but you TV wallahs show things which are worse than porn.

Me: You mean all TV should be banned.

BJP minister 2: Yes, yes..but worse than the TV wallahs is google, facebook, yahoo...and 21 other websites who corrupt our culture.

Me: But I asked you about those video clips you were watching....surely google did not send it to you.

BJP minister 1: You dont understand we are VIPs we are allowed to see..only citizens of Bangalore are not allowed rave parties.

Me: But surely, the clip was porn not a rave party.

BJP minister 2: We see such things to ensure how we can stop them.

Me: But how?

BJP minister 1: The clip on my phone was not porn..it was rape.

Me: Rape???

BJP minister 1: Yes, yes, three men raped a woman.

Me: But why would you like to see that?

BJP minister 1: It is of such importance to us...that we were planning to raise the matter in the vidhan sauda. I don't like sex. I am a social worker.

BJP minister 2: We are not like Bihar BJP MLAS who molest and get stabbed by a school teacher.

Me: Yes, yes, i know about the case..but he too was from BJP.

BJP minister 2: You don't watch TV..even our leader Arun Jaitley said us watching clip was personal matter and had nothing to do with the BJP.

Me: But surely you watched it in the assembly....its the temple of democracy.

BJP minister 1: Aaah don't teach us..please...we know more about temples than you do....besides have you visited Khajuraho?

Me: yes, but thats like sex education,...plus its in stone....like art form..

BJP minister 2: Yes, even in school children have comulsory sex education class and we are adults.

Me: Its seems you are not bothered about even losing the elections..women voters are very angry in your constituencies.

BJP minister 1: No, no...you are wrong....they don't even know about this because we cut out power and bought all the newspapers ourselves.

Me: But thats censorship. I thought only Kapil Sibal had the power to censor.

BJP minister 2: What Sibal..in Karnataka..Shri Ram Sene is more powerful but they support us.

Me: But why would Shri Ram Sene support you...

BJP minister 3: They respect us because we gave them the idea to attack drinking women and they got so many pink chaddis after that..that they have become very rich `Pink Chaddi Exporters'.

Me: But surely, all this is not written in your party manifesto.

BJP minister 2: What manifesto..even our President hasn't read them..and voters don't read manifestos. Are you a communist?

Me: No, no..i am definitely not a communist.

BJP minister: Then why are raising such an issue...BJP is a very respectable party and we want to save Indian culture.

Me: But then why do you want dress code for women?

BJP minister: We don't like seeing women in short skirts.

Me: But you watch porn..surely short skirts is decent.

BJP minister 2: Decent, no, no..its invitation to rape..even Bombay High Court has a dress code in place for foreigners !

Me: At least you should feel guilty.

BJP minister 1: Guilty why? First wait for inquiry. We will show them all our porn clips.

Me: But culture is about restraint..and I am sure the Congress Party has a point to score....you are morally corrput..But I wonder why BJP minister 3 has been silent all along?

BJP minister 3: I wanted to raise an important issue in the assembly..I was only watching Congress Governor Narain Dutt Tiwari's sex video !!!

Tuesday, February 7, 2012

Nitin Gadkari Had A Great Fall !



By Manuwant Choudhary

The best part of democracy is falling governments and falling politicians and is not unusual to see entire stages collapse under the weight of their leaders.

Not that these are heavyweight leaders...they are all lightweight...but heavy as in fat.

And just too many get onto the wooden stages...

If a local goon is stopped the party will lose the elections.

Gone are the days when you would see just one politician addressing a rally.

Ofcourse, when stages collapse national and local TV have a field day..otherwise Indian politics is getting pretty boring....why should anyone be interested in UP elections or Robert Vadra....maybe Priyanka..but definitely Vadra...no..noo....

But actually Nitin Gadkari fell not because of the above reasons...its just that he had ten gulab jaomns for breakfast and as the stage collapsed..Mr. Gadkari's stomach churned and the gulabjamons inside got all worried.....

Gulab Jamon 1: Saheb should just eat 1 gulab jamon.

Gulab Jamon 2: no, no one is not enough i think two is ok..

Gulab Jamon 3: 3 is saheb's lucky number..

Gulab Jamon 4: saheb is a hindu leader and he knows that even when you die..you need four to lift the body ...and in saheb's case you would need four weightlifters.

Gulab Jamon 5: I am from kashmir..and since kashmir is an intergral part of India how can saheb not eat me.

Gulab Jaomn 5: I am from Kanyakumari...and when BJP leaders mention Kashmir..they say Kashmir Se Kanyakumari tak.

Gulab Jamon 6: Well, I am from Mumbai...from the best mithaiwalla there..only Mercedes customers eat me...and if saheb refused me Balasaheb would get angry and an upset stomach is safer than an upset Balasaheb.

Gulab Jamon 7: Not 3, 7 is saheb's lucky number.

Gulab Jamon 8: Saheb's car number plates are VIP and they all end with a big fat 8...even the car where a young girl was found dead in Nagpur.

Gulab Jamon 9: I am from Nagpur..his home..so if he doesn't eat me his wife would get angry.

Gulab Jamun 10: Saheb is BJP president at all...he has to travel to 28 states..and growing..if he doesnt eat me..then India would collapse.

Sunday, February 5, 2012

Appeal To God!





By Manuwant Choudhary

Subramanian Swamy is not Sharad Yadav who has hundreds of shouting supporters hovering around his house all the time.

Mr. Swamy is alone when he wins and alone when he loses.

Even as President of the Janata Party he has no followers.

And alone he takes on the might of Jayalalitha and Chidambaram and Bharat Sarkar.

Alone he gets 122 telecom licences worth crores cancelled.

And at the Tees Hazari Court....the judge called him alone....no..no..no..even Barkha Dutt was not allowed in.

Mr. Swamy does not even have a lawyer..he argues his own case.

The Judge...throws out his case...

And Kapil Sibal advises Subramanian Swamy to appeal to God !

So I went to meet Mr. Swamy at his residence..and found him sitting in a room.

Me: Sir, is this your war room?

Swamy: No, no...this is my puja room...

Me: But I dont see any idols..like Ganesha or Saraswati or...Durga? All I see is a photograph of an onion...

Swamy: yes, yes, I believe in the Onion God? Its more powerful than all Gods.

Me: How?

Swamy: Only onions bring down governments in India.

Me: I have not come here to talk about onions. I am more interested in an exclusive on your appeal to God.

Swamy: (increasing the volume to his old box TV...) see..when you arrived I was listening to Joan Osborne's `What If God Was One of Us.?

Me: You mean God could be working at Tees Hazari Court?

Swamy: Yes, yes...exactly?

Me: Did you find him there...you went in alone?

Swamy: No, no..just darkness..no light...

Me: So what will you do now?

Swamy:I will try and find him in the Delhi High Court...

me: But what if you dont find him in Delhi High Court?

Swamy: Then I will try hard..very hard to find him in the Supreme Court...

Me: aahhh no...even Supreme Court you may not find him..because even they don't allow liberals to contest elections in India.

Swamy: But I have to try?

Me: But to me it seems ..Mr. Sibal meant you appeal to a real God.

Swamy: I am appealing to real Gods.

Me: No.no..you are appealing to men..judges...even they can be corrupt.

Swamy: No, no....no...my case is not Jan Lokpal Bill...its specific...I know P. Chidambaram is as corrupt at A. Raja.

Me: Now..you have lost...

Swamy: Not yet..I believe in God.

Me: You mean you believe in Indian judiciary. What if you lose in Supreme Court also.

Swamy: Then I will appeal to God....

Me: See Mr. Swamy you can't even afford a lawyer...and how can you afford Godmen..like Chandraswamy.

Swamy: I am Swamy also.

Me, No, no, I mean only pundits can appeal to God.

Swamy: I don't agree...Mr. Sibal told me..sadhus are fake...only lawyers know how to appeal to God. So I have hired Mr. Sibal and he has already sent me The Apeal To God.

Me: Can I See?

Swamy: Here it is.....

"Where The Mind Is With Fear, And The Head Is Bowed Low

Where knowledge is capitation fees

Where The World Has been Broken Up Into Fragments

By Narrow International Walls

Where Words Come Out From The Hieghts Of Lies

Where Tireless Striving Stretches Its Arms Towards Imperfections

Where Everyone Has lost Their Way

Into The Dreary Congress Sand of Dead Habit,

Where The Mind Is Led Forward By Socialism

Into Ever Backward Thought And Inaction

Into That Hell Of Slavery, Let My Country Sleep."

Thursday, February 2, 2012

BJP Goons Attack Bihar Journalist



By Manuwant Choudhary

In Bihar there is change... BJP goons have replaced Laloo's goons....a few days ago The Pioneer assistant editor Amarnath Tiwari was enjoying the sun and watering plants at his Charminar apartment residence when a lady Mrs. Madhu Verma arrived with her son Rituraj and accused him of pilfering petrol from her parked car...and suddenly goons arrived and assaulted Amarnath..even pointing a pistol.

The police arrive on the scene and help Mrs. Verma lodge the first FIR although its Amarnath's family who called the police.

The local BJP MLA Arun Sinha is a daily visitor of Mrs. Verma as she is a BJP member and the wife of the younger brother of the late BJP MP Shailendranath Srivastava.

No one was arrested, even while goons stood armed in front of the city SP.

Bailable sections applied and all were let off.

The incident has broken the eerie silence that pervades these days in Bihar ever since Nitish Kumar became chief minister.

Today when the Supreme Court judgement came in on the telecom issue I was amused to hear BJP leader Arun Jaitley suddenly mention good governance in Bihar.

Obviously he did that to score a point over his rival Congress with an eye on the UP elections.

But for all Indians let it be known that Bihar remains as critical as ever.

If anything the media has been silenced by grants and advertisements and threats and assaults.

The Pioneer is a pro BJP newspaper with its editor Chandan Mitra even being their Member of Parliament in the Rajya Sabha, yet their journalist was assauleted at 11 am and the culprits all roam freely.

Its Amarnath who has to take a bail.

What kind of country do we live in?

What happens to ordinary citizens can't be imagined.

There are police stations in Bihar with no telephones.

You can Dial 100 and no one will pick up.

If anything this is `Sushashan for Goons and Dacoits'.

A group of journalists sought an appointment with the chief minister Nitish Kumar but five days later no response from him yet.

And the deputy chief minister Sushil Kumar Modi..the man who loudly fought against Laloo's jungle raj....says Mrs. Madhu Verma's son works at Indus Ind Bank and since he draws a 1 lakh rupee salary he cannot assault anyone. The local MLA Arun Sinha is Modi's man so its not suprising why the BJP is now in support of Jungle Raj.

A BJP Mahila Morcha has even intervened in the matter, while Amarnath is being pressured by BJP leaders to go in for a compromise.

Compromise with Goons?