Sunday, October 20, 2019

Welcome To Dengueland !


By Manuwant Choudhary

The United States has Dysneyland, India has become one vast Dengueland !

This September a few days of rains turned Bihar's capital into Venice...except there were no boats and no help.

The only aid they got was from strongman Pappu Yadav...whose fledgling political party made a point that the major political parties of India are just useless.

A deputy Chief Minister had to be rescued after 5 days.

The rains kept increasing the water levels...as colonies turned into vast lakes !

Its now been discovered that the older water drains had been destroyed to make narrow drains under the PMs Namomi Ganga Project ! Patna experienced drains were as narrow as the minds of our beloved netas !!

But once the water recede, people were faced with destruction and disease - dengue.

In Patna all hospitals are full of dengue patients and they do not even have enough equipments for platelet transfusion.

Every home has a dengue ward !

The biggest beneficiaries from the floods are car workshops, doctors, hospitals and test labs.

Most testing labs have long queues often distributing reports till 9 pm.

Dengue is caused by mosquito and the symptoms are high fever, body ache, nausea and vomiting and its so tough for the body that many have even died.

Its debilitating.

And there is no medicinal cure.

Herbal cure of all kinds are advised.

In fact in Patna anyone you meet on the streets is a doctor - he will tell you what to try !

The best is papaya leaf juice.

A girl asked her boyfriend, "Do you know of any papaya tree in the city?"

He replied, "Maybe I have seen one..but not sure.."

The other cure is of course papaya fruit... fresh coconut juice...then Australian kiwi.

But what if Modi stops its imports..Swadeshi Jagran Manch !!!!

Delhi is the original capital of Dengue but mosquitos travel...now by Tejas from Delhi to Lucknow and then by Gareeb Rath from Lucknow to Patna.

The railways have just cancelled Gareeb Rath so that only rich mosquitoes can travel by train.

But in Patna Dengue is socialist - it does not discriminate...both rich and poor are affected.

Even swanky Mumbai has 2200 dengue cases in hospitals, Mumbai Mirror reports, quoting Bombay Municipal Corporation.

At test labs all kinds of people are seen discussing dengue..even Muslim dadas in black Pathan suits...heard one of them on the phone, "Agar doctor nahin aata hai to keh do bhai dekh lega !"

But doctor clinics are full..how can the doctor possibly visit patients at home?

In all this someone from Niti Ayog advised Modiji that if he can invite top Bollywood actors to Delhi then the Dengue epidemic will vanish.


So this morning they were all taking selfiies with Modiji...Shah Rukh Bhai, Aamir Bhai... !


Sonamjee is better than smogging !!









Tuesday, October 15, 2019

Flies Have Conquered The Flypaper !


By Manuwant Choudhary

I am definitely not a talented actor like Alia Bhatt.

In school I did not even know `a' of acting but a dear friend who is no more literally compelled me into a small role of an army captain in the American play `The Moon Is Down' By John Steinbeck.

It was a real tiny role but I do not know what I did in it that got me selected for the main school play `The Death of A Salesman' again by Steinbeck. In it I had another tiny role Biff's studious friend...

In all my life the best compliment I received was from my English teacher cum play director, he said, "Your diction is very good."

Except then I did not fully know the meaning of `diction'. But I guessed it all came from the 11 years in an English medium boarding school.

In real life I was hardly studious and so I remember the plays more than the physics and math lessons in school.

If I sat for any exam today then like Biff I would flunk Math.

Although John Steinbeck is not an easy playwright to understand fully in school nor is the American English easy for an Indian who has not even dreamt of travelling to America, yet the play The Moon Is Down has stayed with me...deep somewhere.

In quieter moments I think of my friend and the play and also wonder why Steinbeck would ever think of writing a play like this...until ofcourse 2019...August 5 when Modi abrogated Article 370 in Jammu & Kashmir and virtually turned the Indian army into an army of occupation and Kashmiris - a people under siege..

The Moon Is Down is the story of occupation of an unnamed nation in Europe by the enemy of England much like the Germans occupation of Norway during World War 2.

The occupying army thinks of a novel way to rule over the town by using its mayor to implement its sadistic directives....


The play is about character of not just the mayor but the people of the town and their resilience in the face of occupation - a free people.

Its also about the human needs of an occupying army.

Just when the Generals felt victorious over an entire town, an officer blurts out `Flies Have Conquered the Flypaper !'

This spreads fast into town and across the barracks and most of  the occupying soldiers too join the chorus on the futility of war and supremacy.

What happens when flies conquer the flypaper?

They all die.

(The Moon Is Down film should be watched by all Indians)



Saturday, October 12, 2019

Milkshake Millennials !


By Manuwant Choudhary

When Bihar's Chief Minister Nitish Kumar banned alcohol in the state he said now Biharis will drink more milk.

I am not sure if that has happened.

So I decided to check out a milkshake joint...Patna's most happening place !

I found just a girl and boy sitting there enjoying their company more than the milkshake.

The girl X was slim and bright but simple..no make up or anything...a basic smartphone..jeans n t shirt.

The boy Y had this conversation style that was friendly and story-like..maybe he thought of the best stories that would make his girlfriend smile.

Like he told her how a young cousin from America came to Patna and disturbed his elder brothers pool game. His elder brother has a temper and he flew into a rage. 

For 15 minutes he shouted at his cousin. 

The cousin meanwhile just stood quietly and then when the shouting stopped he calmly told him, "What did you say? I don't understand Hindi."


They then spoke of where their friends are..the girl explained most are in Mumbai...mostly in the all girls Sophia College and a few in Mithibai.

The boy said most of his friends are in Delhi including one who talks too much..are with him and then he spoke of one friend in Mumbai who is all alone there..."He does not even know how to make new friends."

He went on..."My Bihari hostel room mate is so sentimental that when I left Delhi for ten days he hugged me and cried and weeped and said how will he be able to live without him."

The girl X was all smiles.

Then the girl X said, "But I do not understand why children of Army personnel write Army Brat on their facebook profile..."yeh army brat kya hota hai...??"

The boy Y, "Exactly, even I cant figure that out..lekin sab likhte hain...One of them ..his father is not even in the army still he writes Army Brat."

The girl X "Where is he from?"

The boy Y, "His father is from DRDO...thats not Army...at best he may have an Army canteen card..."

The girl, "I have one friend who does not write that..and only after months she told us she was born in Kanpur but her home is everywhere.."

Finally, the conversation turned to shampoos and hair...

The girl X, "The water in Delhi is so bad for my hair....I have to use all kinds of conditioners but still my hair is thinning..."

The boy Y, "Yes, yes...water is not just bad..its scarce too.."

The girl, "Yes, yes...paanee to Patna ka hee acchcha hai...lekin bas yahan paanee hee hai..aur kuch nahin..." (Water is good in Patna but then there is nothing else..)

For the millenials I would recommend this shampoo but in Bihar they may get arrested for this too - its made from real beer...