Sunday, January 24, 2021

Tractor Tantrums For Republic Day

My ancient tractor is behaving like a kiddo...he is pestering me to take him to New Delhi for the Republic Day Parade. Tractor: This is so historic for the first time since independence we have been invited for the Parade. Me: No,no Delhi is too far. You expect me to drive you all the way. Tractor : Then I will go on my own. Me: You are not a driverless tractor. Besides you are not armoured. Delhi police will attack you with dandas Tractor : I am stronger than a tank. Me:You dont have the Papers. Registration, fastag, aadhhaar card, you wont cross the first toll even. Tractor: Ah watch youtube UP cops are shit scared of tractors. We dont have power brakes. Me: But Delhi is going to be tense this time Its not like some beating retreat at Rashtrapati Bhawan where horses do the amazing parade. Tractor : I cannot unterstand you. Me: Besides,how will you go. Petrol pumps are not giving diesel to Tractors. Tractor: If that Bihar girl can cycle her father to bihar from Delhi then so can i. Where there is a will there is a way Me:Its too risky. What if protestors at Singhu border find out that Shri Bobde is my friend and Shri Anil Ghanwat too and Shri Mann?

Tenzin Choezom - A Tibetan Gold Medalist!

Sunday, January 10, 2021

A Safari in Bihar?

Like Narendra Modi builds everything in Gujarat, Nitish Kumar builds everything in Nalanda, his home district. Now some 20 sq kms land near Rajgir in the midst of hillocks have been walled for a safari. Electric fencing is being fixed atop the walls to prevent intrusion. A skywalk is already ready but not open to the public yet. My source tells me work is in full swing. A foresters residence with a fancy apartment for the mukhya mantri is already ready. Its well known that whenever Nitish goes to Rajgir the alliance shifts. And if he is feeling sick then politics gets murkier. But what about the animals? They are being sourced from all over. What about trees? They are being planted. But the animals would die in the bihar heat. I asked my source if this would be like a zoo. He replied, "Nahin janwar to khule mein ghumenge pinjre mein hum honge! " I quipped, "Toh safari ki kya zaroorat thee.. poora bihar hee safari hai. "

Tuesday, January 5, 2021

Buta Singh - Bihar's Best Ruler.

Buta Singh who passed away recently was Bihars best ruler. I am not a votary of Presidents rule but for a brief period in 2005 i think Buta Singh was Governor of Bihar. And Presidents rule was imposed so Buta was all powerful. Bihars capital Patna had not even seen traffic lights since independence but suddenly all that changed. The streets were washed clean, the dust vanished and there were sparkling cats eye on the roads. It felt like Europe. And Patnas Sikhs could be seen in their expensive cars going around as if in Toronto. But at a wedding in Bombay a journalist friend quizzed my general knowledge. Do you know the names of Butas sons? Do you know Lovely and Sweety? I replied No. Do you know how much percentage they earn from cats eyes alone? I was amused. When I returned to Bihar my mongrel gave birth to two pups I named them Lovely and Sweety. One day a college senior visted and adopted both of them Lovely and Sweety found a home. The college senior was kanwaljit singh arora - a Sardar. Providence.