Tuesday, November 30, 2010
Subramanian Swamy's Dinner At The Prime Minister's House!
By Manuwant Choudhary
India's Prime Minister Dr. Manmohan Singh plans a special dinner and so tells his wife ...."Jeee Gursharan....dinner pe bulana hai jee mehmanon ko....zara theek se khaana banana....(I am calling some guests for dinner please put in your best effort).
Wife: "I have always put in my best. I am not like you. You have already forgotten the dinner I hosted for Obamaji. Obamaji sent me a post card from the White House complimenting me!"
Prime Minister: "I don't mean that. This dinner is going to be different. Its tougher than inviting Obamaji."
Wife: Okay you can tell me whom you want to invite?
PM: Subramanian Swamy!
Wife: Ohhh him!!!!! Not him???? Isn't he the man who wrote a letter to you eleven months ago and because you did not reply he has dragged you to the Supreme Court....its like inviting trouble for dinner.
PM: Oh no, you don't understand. Have you ever heard of dinner diplomacy?
Wife: No, not him. If there is no salt in the dal this Swamy fellow will drag us to the United Nations.
PM: I want to invite him so that he can eat your delicious food and stop writing letters.
Wife: I really don't understand why this man still writes letters. Nobody writes letters anymore. You should tell the Supreme Court you did not receive an email from this Swamy fellow and I know you personally reply to all your emails.
PM: Yes thats true I reply to more letters than all the chief ministers and bureaucrats have ever written across India.
Wife: Always say Nehruji wrote more letters than anyone else..don't brag... Soniaji may hear it and you may lose your job.
PM: Ok so how do we invite Subramanian Swamy?
Wife: I know this PR woman..whats her name..we can ask her to organise...
Wife : Nira Radia.
PM: Ohh no...she is the cause of all the problem. You cant ask her...the CBI and Income Tax Department are tapping her phones and soon you will hear your voice all over the world. Don't you watch TV?
Wife: I watch NDTV. There is nothing on it.
PM: Aah thats because they are in trouble because of Nira Radia as well. If Ratan Tata had a news channel it would be as silent as NDTV. Actually, I prefer silent TV. Like the old hindi films before everything became Talkies!
Wife: Now don't get nostalgic. Okay we will find a way but do you think this Subramanian Swamy will come at your invitation.
PM: Oh yes, he will...he will do anything to be in the Prime Minister's House. Didn't you see the confidence with which he told the world that he is not just anyone..he is Subramanian Swamy....the Prime Minister knows him for decades.
Wife: But who is this man? He is not even a Member of Parliament.
PM: He is a President of a political party. Janata Party.
Wife: What errr??? Nobody wins from that party.
PM: Oh darling. Didn't you see Swamy's power on ZEE TV Subramanian Swamy Unplugged.. He said see who has won in Bihar...all are Janata...they all left me but they still win.
Wife: Yes, i hear the Congress lost is deposits in almost all seats in Bihar despite Rahulji and Sadhu Yadav.
PM: Now you are distracting me. Focus on the dinner.
Wife: But is Subramanian Swamy a real saint like Sri Sri Ravishankar or Baba Ram Dev?
PM: No, no ..no...he is no saint..just Swamy in name.
But he is more dangerous than all of Hindutva put together.
Wife: How you know?
PM: I know. You forget his tea party. Single-handedly he organised a tea party for Jayalalitha and Soniaji...and the 13 month Vajpayee's BJP government came down like a pack of cards.
Wife: But isn't he the one who brought down Jayalalitha also..so how is she a freind of Swamy now.
PM: Thats politics. But Swamy's politics no one understands. He says he does not bow before enemies or freinds. He is Jayalalitha's friend but has not dropped a single corruption charge against her.
Wife: I am sure he is a blackmailer.
PM: I thought he was one but who has the guts to tell him. On ZEE TV he menacingly said no Congresswalla has ever called him a blackmailer. If anyone does then I will go after him he said.
Wife: But thats blackmail.
PM: No that Swamy fellow went on to say that he cannot be a blackmailer because wo har cheeze ka khulaasa kar deta hai...he exposes it all.
Wife: Is he like Laloo? Uneducated fool???
PM No, no even Laloo stays away from him. He is Harvard educated and still visits Harvard.
Wife: OK, ok...who should we invite..perhaps the top journalists like Barkha Dutt, Rajdeep Sardesai....and get our shifty Kamal Nutt to decide which journalist is on our side.
PM No,, no...you dont follow..this Swamy is very clever like Chanakya....if we call him for dinner then it must be just dinner no talk.
Wife: Ok I know this chinese ambassador...who speaks only Chinese ..so Swamy will get good company.
PM: Im glad you are not in my cabinet. You dont even know that this Subramanian Swamy knows Chinese as well !
Wife: What about entertainment?
PM: Ahh we'll play that song...My Name is Sheila..Im soooo sexy..katrina number.
Wife: But our chief minister may get offended again. See how New Zealand had to apologise.
PM: Think about it..
Wife: Okay one last thing if this fellow comes what gift should we give him. I think we should present him a German Shephard dog.
PM: Yah I know he likes dogs. But not pedigree. A stray Indian dog is what he will definitely like - one that bites.