Hum Kaale Hain To Kya Hua...The Song Black Money Is Singing...

The King & The Foolish Monkey

India's Economy In A Tailspin - As Predicted By BJP MP

By Manuwant Choudhary

The Indian economy is in a tailspin...a prediction come true by BJP MP Dr. Subramanian Swamy.

After the recent cash ban Dr. Swamy has been put on mute but I have saved a letter he wrote to Prime Minister Narendra Modi.

It says, " Based on my reading of various indicators of Indian economy, I feel compelled to inform you that the economy is in its early phase of a tailspin. If curative measures are not taken then a major crash is inevitable between coming November and February 2016.."

The letter is dated September 15,2015, and although the crash never happened between November and February 2016, its clear Swamy talked about the `tailspin' being in its early phases.

He suggested two solutions..first was to abolish Income Tax to enthuse the middle classes in India to save money. This was an attempt to shore up the money into the banks voluntarily and not what Modi has done now by demonitising.

And second he wrote to PM about lowering interest rates since international lenders were taking advantage and engaged in interest arbitage...and since Raghuram Rajan was opposing lowering of interest rates he should be asked to go.

Interestingly Dr. Swamy also wrote how during Modi's term large sums of black money had already entered into the Indian economy.

"Since you took oath of office, of the 24 billion dollars, almost 18 billion dollars have come from Mauritius and Singapore, which means most of the foriegn investments is really a recycling of black money and not genuine new foreign investments."

"Therefore I urge you to take personal interest and create a Crisis Management Team, wihin the PMO for taking urgent steps to see that the Indian economy does not spiral down to crash."

Modi accepted two parts  of Swamy's advice - to remove Raghuram Rajan and form a Crisis Management Team.

But what he did by demonitising currency did not `spiral down the economy to a crash' but `brought it to a grinding halt'..just like when you apply a sudden brake on an Indian highway...as a holy cow jumps out of nowhere...

But I wonder what Modi is telling Swamy in the photo above..?

Andher Nagari, Chaupat Raja

Andher Nagari, Chaupat Raja (A Dark City, Useless King) is an old play by Bhartendu Harishchandra but it perfectly describes the socialist India we live in...These days everything in India is rupaye 500 ! And no prizes for guessing the name of the King...

ATM Bhagwan - India Is In Queue !

By Manuwant Choudhary

Hindus already have 33 million Gods but thanks to Modiji they have just discovered one more God - ATM Bhagwan !

Even cremating black money the Hindu way...by burning...or a dip in the holy Ganga or Mahananda or Brahmaputra by throwing the black money in it is not going to wash away the sins anymore.

Not even on Poornima (the full moon)

There is a `Satellite Baba' in Patna...who has made many predictions like Rabri becoming chief minister to Laloo going to prison...to Lord  Ganesh drinking milk.

So I went to see him.

He was in deep meditation..with old 500 and 1000 rupee currency stuck on his trishul..looking like Shiva himself.

As I entered his third eye opened...

"Bol Bum...bol bum...jai shiv shankar...dushman ko tang kar."

I asked him babaji i have only two bananas to offer you, no money, but I need you help.

Satellite Babaji, "Bol Baccha."

Me: "When will I be able to withdraw money?"

Babaji: "Tum ATM bhagwan ka jaap karo."

Me: But I already worship Lakshmi....the God of Wealth..."

Babaji: No that alone will not help..Lakshmiji is just about money and if government takes money away then she is gone.

Me: But I am not so rich....Will ATM Bhagwan listen to my prayers? ATM Bhagwan gives only what I give to him...not more not less...but I am a poor man..

Babaji: Do rupaye daloge to do rupaye hee milega...

Me: But what God does Modiji worship? With one announcement overnight all of India's money has gone into his pocket. Is it his 56 inch chest?

Babaji: Bewakoof...56 inch seena se koi teri jeb tak kaise pahunchega...common sense..jeb tak pahunchne ke liye 56 feet ka haath chahiye...

Me: But is that possible?

Babaji: First all Hindu women should go on a fast like Anna Hazare..

Me: But why?

Babaji: Tabhee ATM Bhagwan kush honge......Bol Bum..Bol Bum...Jai Shiv Shankar...dushman ko tang kar....ATM Bhagwan ki Jai....!

Kahani 3 - Modi's Black Magic

Courtesy Usha Pandit

All those who are enamoured of the Demonitisation do read on:

The Masterstroke Policy of Demonitisation:

The media is hailing Modi’s demonitisation of old 500 and 1000 Rs notes as a masterstroke policy on curbing the menace of black money.

Really?

Hmmmm.

Lets have a look into a few figures.

*What if I told you that total Bad Loans of Indian Banks right now is close to Rs.6,00,000 crore.

_* What if I told you that PSU Banks are in a miserable condition right now, and need immediate infusion of money to shore up their lending capacities?

_* What if I told you that few weeks back credit rating agency Moody’s had stated that Indian Banks require Rs.1.25 lakh crore capital infusion?

_* What if I told you that in July 2016 the Centre injected 23,000 crore into 13 Public Sector Banks?

_* What if I told you that Jaitley said it in 2015 that the Centre would pump in more than 70,000 crore in PSU in coming 4 years?

And

What if I told you that this demonitisation is nothing but a measure to infuse money in those ailing Banks so as to shore up their lending capacities?

Can’t you see people queuing up banks to deposit their hard earned money, waiting hours for their turn?

What other “Masterstroke” would have made this possible?

Just trigger the panic button by stating that your old 500 and 1000 rupees currency is no longer a valid legal tender, and Voila !!!

People are queuing up since morning to deposit their hard earned money.

What for?

To curb the menace of black money? By bringing in new Rs.2000 note?

You don’t curb black money by bringing in notes of higher denomination.

In fact, you are now simplifying hoarding of black money by bringing in new notes of higher denomination.

Ok. So what would banks do with the fresh infusion of money from public pockets?

Lend of course. That’s what their business is.

And to whom would these banks lend their money to?

You? Me?

So sweet of you

You are in the deposit queue dear.

The following are in the withdrawal queue:

(note: the figures in bracket are their present repayable amount which they owe to various banks)

10. GVK Reddy (GVK Group) (33933 crores)

9. Venugopal Dhoot (Videocon Group) (45405 crores)

8. L. Madhusoodan Rao (Lanco Group) (47102 Crores)

7. G.M. Rao (GMR Group) (47976 Crores)

6. Sajjan Jindal (JSW Group) (58163 Crores)

5. Manoj Gaur (Japypee Group) (75163 Crores)

4. Goutam Adani (Adani Group) (96031 Crores)

3. Shashi Ruia & Ravi Ruia (Essar Group) (101000 Crores)

2. Anil Aggarwal (the Vedanta Group) (103000 Crores)

And

Finally

Anil Ambani (Reliance Group) (125000 Crores)

The govt.just carried out a surgical strike in your pockets, and now you are running like chickens.

That’s how crony capitalism works.

Now call me whatever you like-Marxist, Communist, Anarchist, Congi agent,Conspiracy theorist blah blah blah…

Operation Rs.500 - My Hanuman Mandir Experience !

By Manuwant Choudhary

This morning I was in one of those rare moods so I visited Patna's famous Hanuman Mandir near the Patna railway station for a `darshan'.

Since Hanuman is the Hindu God who gives you strength in times of difficulties.

Patna has many Hanuman mandirs...but two are popular...they could win elections too.

One is like really massive and strong made from Buland cement so  he is called `Hitler' Hanuman...

Hanuman is one Indian god who is so powerful he can encroach on any road he likes and no government can remove him...he is more powerful than even Maoists.

But I prefer the railway station Hanuman for their laddoos made from pure ghee like the ones from Tirupati.

The first time I had the Hanuman laddoos were ironically from Bihar's chief minister Rabri Devi herself, while her husband Laloo Yadav looked on..."Kha lijiye...Hanuman Mandir ka ghee ka laddoo hai...," I recall she offered with much affection.

Also nowadays in `acche din' it is hard to even donate old clothes, since most Indians have become rich..they have cards and plastic wallets and plastic money and Big Basket what not...

But Hanuman mandir still has beggars who accept humble donations...this is what happened..

Coming out from the temple I reached for my wallet and took out some money and offered Rs.500 to a beggar...

Beggar: This is Black Money...I will not accept it.

Me: It looks yellow to me..not black...

Beggar: Don't you have TV at home...Modiji says Rs.500 is black money.

Me: But all these years I have purchased so many things from Rs.500 and now you say all this from midnight..

Beggar: I believe what Modiji says...he wants to remove black money and since Rs.500 is black money it should be removed..

Me: You mean it should be burnt...only its ashes are black..

Beggar: Don't give it to me ..do what you want with it...

Me: But it has Mahatma Gandhi on it so how can it be Black...he was an apostle of truth...

Beggar: I just like Modiji...he is so brave..removing money from India...everybody is praising him...even Narayanmurthy...

Me: Common...I just want to give you some money so you can feed your family and you are talking about some colour of money.

Beggar: But I am honest..I don't accept black money...

Me: Is Rs.500 less..how about Rs.1000?

Beggar: Never. Even that is black money...

Me: But how?

Beggar: Modiji says it is black money used for terror attacks on India?

Me: But terrorists can use any money...even dollars and pounds..or...dinaars...

Beggar: I just believe Modiji...

Me: But Rs.500 is guaranteed by The Central Government & Reserve Bank of India...

Beggar: I just believe Modiji....

Me: Rs.500 even has signature of Raghuram G. Rajan, RBI Governor...

Beggar: I want signature of Baba Ramdev !