The Great Escape

By Manuwant Choudhary

Man's greatest ideas are often not in a study but while he sits on a commode...a friend spent hours doing just that...and when we asked him what he did for hours locked up in a toilet..he replied...`I think and plan...'

But plan for what? Plan your day, plan your sex life..marriage...just about everything you can do sitting on a commode but what a commode can do...even I did not not fully comprehend...until recently when four prisoners escaped from a Bihar prison.

And how did they do it?

They planned their escape sitting on a prison commode!

The Bihar police got into action and were happy to re-arrest three of them.

Even the prison superintendant was happy at news of the re-arrest but happy only until they were all brought before the superintendant.

Prison Superintendant, "I could not believe what I saw....They were covered from head to toe with human excreta...some of it even coming out from their mouth...And they smelt..I told the police to keep them at a distance as I questioned about their escape."

They replied, "Madam, simple..we removed the commode and escaped from the sewer..."

The prisoners were sent first for a long scrubby bath before they could re-enter the prison.

But what about the guards? Why didn't anyone notice the escape.

A home guard on duty replies, "Madam, I was looking up at sky at the corner prison wall where my seniors told me to keep strict vigil as they throw cellphones and ganja for the prisoners."

The prisoners are undertrials in several cases of train robbery and murder.

But did anyone outside the prison see them escape?

One eyewitness, ""Yes, I did see them but I thought they were normal people cleaning up the toilets."

Moral of the story - `FOR FREEDOM I DON'T MIND EVEN THE SHIT'.

On a positive note. As a journalist I have always believed that it is possible to make a difference. Not a big difference but small one's and sometimes one hopes they all add up.

But I did wonder whether some of the causes I fought for really mattered years later.

Like once I noticed that there were many women prisoners who even had small babies but the Bihar government had no monetary provision for their milk, food and play or education.

I did a story and raised it with the then Home Commissioner Mr.U. N. Panjiar and he promised the laws would be changed for the babies.

So I asked the prison superintendant whether prison babies get anything and this is what she told me, "Yes, they get milk and mineral water and baby food and even toys."

GOD SAVE INDIA SAYS ORISSA'S RAPED NUN

By Manuwant Choudhary

`God Save India....' is how the nun, allegedly raped by Hindu fundamentalists in Orrissa's Kandmahal district two months ago, ends her presser in New Delhi..demanding a CBI probe into the case as she does not trust the Orissa police anymore.

A loss of faith not in God but in the Indian State.

The Supreme Court has already denied an appeal by her to hand the case over to the Central Bureau of Investigations.

This compels the young nun to speak out publicly in New Delhi. Her face covered she spoke softly but clearly, interrupted only by the swelling tears under her glasses.

Its a shame for India.

But no there is no word about it from India's Prime Minister Dr. Manmohan Singh.

The nun need not even have approached the Supreme Court. The CBI falls under the direct charge of India's Prime Minister and he could easily have ordered the CBI probe.

But he doesn't.

And there is no word from Orissa's chief minister the English speaking Navin Patnaik.

His top police officer tells the media he has ten people arrested and ready for identification parade but the nun is not cooperating.

The nun tells India about the ordeal she went through when she sees the rapist and attackers talking in a very friendly manner with the Orrisa police and a few even watched her being attacked and raped.

She was paraded semi-naked across a street.

And no word from the Prime -Minister- in-waiting BJPs L.K. Advani.

No word from former PMs of India. Are they all dead and gone.

The violence erupted after a Hindu Swami was killed allegedly by Maoists but Hindu groups decided to attack Christians instead, whom they blame for helping the Maoists.

Whatever the story may be the Orissa and Indian government have done nothing the contain the Maoist menace.

Who funds the maoists, who supports them...it must be made public...because maosists use sophisticated weapons and have training to take on the Indian State.

Are Indian political parties Maoist?

Then there is news about the arrest of Sadhvi Pragya Singh, a former Akhil Bhartiya Vidyarthi Parishad member, (student wing of the BJP), who is allegedly involved in the Malegaon blasts..to avenge the Delhi blasts.

Where is India going?

Red , Green, or Saffron!

What colour would you get when you mix all these - a very deep red - like a blood clot in a very poor dusty Indian village.

India bleeds.

When Bihar Secedes from India

By Manuwant Choudhary

I enjoy driving in Patna these days. There is very little traffic, only a few autos and rickshaws, the roads look clean and wide...the city less dusty ....after Bihar students burn trains coming from India.

Indian newspapers still have most stories about Raj Thackeray walking free and none on why Bihar burns.

And driving around the famous round maidan I almost see a flutter in the skies - no not of pigeons and crows - but of flags of all nations.

I see hundreds of Mercedes and BMWs with those nice blue number plates drive past on tree-lined clean streets of Patna.

I also see a car without a beacon light drive past and I am told the lady in the car is the Prime Minister of Bihar, returning home to cook after a cabinet meeting. She is young, only 25 and single, pretty.

But traffic is never held up for her.

There are no road blocks in Patna.

I am also told how the Prime Minister of Bihar visited Nepal and solved Bihar's flood problem permanently.

She also invited the best engineers in the world to build a world class water management system and the contracts were given not to the lowest bid but the best bid - a system other foriegn governments now want to emulate.

In Japan, Korea, Hong Kong, London, New York... all airlines are booked as millions take their holidays to the worlds best managed nation....and all they need is a plane ticket...no visas for Bihar.

Just then I hear a roar and I look up and I see Cathay Pacific preparing to land at Patna airport, yes its called just that.

And there are no statues in the parks and street corners...just flowers and fountains.

But most shockingly I hear no one gets kidnapped in Bihar and no murders. The police have been been disarmed and disbanded.

So no maoists either to blow up the police.

There is no income tax either and indirect taxes are the lowest in the world because Bihar has the smallest government - it has no government employees, even the Prime Minister maintains herself from the flowers she exports to Europe.

There is a flag, however, I did not recognise. A blue flag with a leaf.

I am told the Prime Minister of India (a small leftist country) has cancelled his Beijing visit to attend a very important meeting initiated by the Prime Minister of Bihar.

And all Prime Minister's of South Asia including Pakistan are flying to Srinagar in Kashmir to establish a Forum called `Free Your Mind' - even the Hurriyat support it.

The Summit will have a single agenda - to allow free movement of people and goods across borders.

It will be be headquartered in Srinagar - Jammu and Kashmir - which still remains an Indian state.

We are told all are attending, except Maharashtra where Raj Thackeray is Prime Minister.

But the Prime Minister of Maharashtra is under a lot of pressure as private companies shift their headquarters to Bihar.

The RBI, SEBI have long shut shop there after the stock market in Mumbai collapsed.

And Tata's tell Thackeray we need the minerals in Jamshedpur more than the Bombay House office.

And Maharashtrians are welcome in Bihar because all are welcome here.

Yet Bihar is not perfect and definitely not equal.

I Want The Moon

By Manuwant Choudhary

I sat near my pond at my farm in Bihar looking up at the moon on the day of Poornima (full Moon) - a large ball of white with some grey shades.

I look forward to the Poornima full moon because my home does not have electricity even after 60 years since India's independence - at least for a night I do not need to think about the governments electricity department. My home, my garden everything is awash with light.

And I wonder why the earth has just a single moon.

For Bihar I wished the earth had 30 moons which would in turn light up the earth each and every night.

I do not understand why the Indian government plans to plant our Indian flag on the moon?

But I did relate to ISRO's moon project director talking about his village in Coimbatore which did not have a single street light and that is how his village became his natural planetorium where he could observe the moon and the stars on a clear night and dream.

When India plants its flag on the moon can we say that we are now Superpower No.3 or 4?

But with the economic `slowdown' even the United States is not sure whether it still is a Superpower.

In politics and humor and in everything in life the most important thing is `timing'.

And here I think India has got it all wrong.

When I was studying broadcast jounalism at Cardiff in the United Kingdom my best lesson was not in the classroom but at a Welsh pub where an Englisman came up to us and got talking.

We told him we were journalism students.

And he asked us, "Has man been on the Moon?"

And my colleague Amit immediately replied, "Yes, ofcourse..."

Amit rattled off the names, the years...the moon missions...but the Englishman seemed dismayed.

"You guys can't be journalists!"

"What if I tell you man has never been to the moon."

We replied in complete disbelief, "But we've seen the photos."

Englishman, "Sure, but those photos could be taken on the Nevada desert."

"But why? Why would the Americans do that..Our American professor even has a piece of the moon given to journalists by Nasa."

The Englishman, "The Americans did that to beat the Russians. Don't you see it was the Cold War era? There was an arms race, a nuclear race...and the only way the Americans could establish supremacy in the public mind was by sending a man to the moon."

"And the Americans succeeded because everyone, even journalists did not question them."

But we were still not convinced with the Englishman's arguments.

And he replied finally, "Don't you see it? If the American's could send a man to the moon in the 1970's why have they sent nobody since then?"

So returning to India I question everything.

I question the corrupt, the underdevelopment, the cricket craze, the misery faced by our people...the salary hikes taken by our politicians..the leave without pay offer By Air India...the permanent leave with pay for all government offcials.

I also question those questioning capitalism.

I question those arguing for more government controls and regulations.

I ask them does anyone know why the American economy has collapsed? Can anyone, any government save it?

Banks and investment firms are perhaps just extensions of government policy.

A school friend I met while in London asked me how are things in India. At the time JVG, a non-banking financial company, had gone bust, literally stealing people's hard-earned savings and I told him with such passion about the corruption in India.

Then I asked him what he did.

And he replied, "Just the same what JVG does."

He worked for a large American financial company.

See how Democract Obama says every American will get health insurance. Do American politicians care about the health of the economy?

And George Bush and Manmohan Singh have no idea what a `slowdown' is.

Come to Bihar.

No credit cards, no mortgages and loans if you are a farmer just forget it.

But still I am no cynic.

A beautiful person once told me, "You are asking for the moon."

I replied, "I want the moon."

Raj Thackeray Arrested Again

Manuwant Choudhary

Raj Thackeray, Maharashtra Navnirman Sena president, has been arrested yet again but I do not see the need for a euphoria....make no mistake Raj will be booked under some weak laws and let-off within a few days if not hours on bail free to attack Indians and India.

Free to abuse his uncle Bal Thackeray and free to attack poor Indians travelling to Maharashtra to compete for jobs at national exams.

The spineless Congress Party is to blame.

For first creating a Bal Thacekray and now Raj.

Raj is no fool. Everytime he is arrested just watch him wave to his sena (army) as he climbs into police jeeps.

Sometimes its a clear cut shirt and sometimes a neckless white kurta, Raj is building his militant image and does not care for the image of Maharashtra.

Bal Thackeray is an ageing tiger and although Raj has not inherited his party the Shiv Sena, Raj has inherited his looks and wants to earn his `hate' figure image.

One day he will upstage the Congress and his cousin Uddhav and rule Maharashtra.

And even the Tata's will fund his elections.

Make no mistake, Raj is feared today and will be respected one day just like his uncle is.

Abhishek Bachan will touch his feet.

Amar Singh will attend his daughters wedding.

Remember Sonia Gandhi saying `I am prepared to go to jail' when UP chief minister Mayawati withdrew the railway factory land.

Powerful Mayawati soon got cold feet and handed the land back.

Going to prison in Indian politics is an honour.

Raj will be on the front pages and editors will reprimand him but at night they will attend parties thrown by the Thackerays.

Maybe not India as yet, but Maharashtra is ready for Raj.

Make no mistake the only person Raj got killed was a Marathi named Ramesh Kini and he got away with murder.

WHO WOULD I VOTE FOR IN THE US ELECTIONS?

Not Obama and not Mcain even with the freebie Sarah Palin, I would vote for Denzel Washington as President of the United States!

ASHA GILL - BEST TRAVEL PRESENTER IN THE WORLD

By Manuwant Choudhary

Asha Gill is the best travel presenter in the world.

Born in Pembury, Kent, UK, to an English mother (who is a teacher) and a Punjabi father, Asha spent much of her childhood in Malaysia. So it was natural, she says, for her to pack her bags after school and university in the UK, and return to Malaysia, where she is a TV travel presenter, writer, director, producer, veejay, DJ...u name it.....

Catch her on Lonley Planet - Six Degrees, globetrotting on Travel & Living, and you will understand when I say...that Asha can simply handle any bouncer in the world...anyone...and anything...even a football with nipples! (as in Buenos Aires)

She is also a human rights activist and shocked only when her butts are grabbed on a Mumbai street! (she says she cannot understand such pedestrian rights!!)

Her laugh is infectious, her smile beautiful and she truly makes television and the cities she travels to come alive.

TATA BYE-BYE FROM SINGUR

By Manuwant Choudhary

A car for every Indian.... the much-hyped Rs. 1 lakh car...the Nano .....will not roll out from Singur in West Bengal as Tata chairman Ratan Tata finally announced his decision to pull out blaming the opposition leader Mamata Banerjee's protests as the only reason.

Ratan Tata said, "A few years ago I had said that if a person puts a pistol to my head he has just two options either he puts the pistol away or he pulls the trigger. Mamata Banerjee has pulled the trigger."

A visibly sentimental Ratan Tata, however, does not even mention how farmers felt when their land was forcibly taken away for the Tata Nano project.

West Bengal or Mamata Banerjee or the farmers have nothing against the Tata's..but what they are against is forcible acquisition of their land.

In a way Mamata Banerjee has enforced property rights in India and why if the Tata's still wanted the Nano project in Singur they could easily have got lease agreements from the farmers.

But Tata did not even try.

What he banked on was the money he offers to the Congress and other parties before elections and in return he expected them to acquire land for him.

Sorry, Mr. Tata you have lowered your own reputation.

A Birla could not develop West Bengal in 60 years and I do not think a Tata would help.....look what the Tata's did to Bihar...the Tata's supported the bifurcation of Bihar only because Laloo Prasad Yadav had not extended the lease of Jamshedpur.

There is hope for West Bengal...its small enterpreneurs who invest wisely into small factories and buy land directly from farmers who will transform West Bengal and India.

Mr. Saurav Ganguly..much as I admire your cricket....the Nano is not about Bengali nationalism.

MARKET SAVES, IF SAVED ITSELF

By Sharad Joshi (Member of Parliament, Rajya Sabha, India)

President Bush addressing his nation on the evening of September 24 made it clear that the financial crisis that America was facing was serious. He took pains to inform the nation about the action he proposes to take to meet the situation. The help line package may come to over $700 billion!

The United States government has already extended a last-minute $85 billion lifeline to American International Group (AIG) – the troubled insurer. Lehman Brothers, Frannie Mae and Freddie Mac will also benefit from the helpline.

That means Washington has turned away from decades of rhetorical about the virtues of the free market and the dangers of governmental intervention. This was not the United States government or the International Monetary Fund that had advised Asian countries a decade ago.

Will the United States be able to show itself off as the beacon of unfettered free-market capitalism?

State intervention can take various forms – outright nationalization, subsidies, welfare measures, Keynesian type of pump priming, budgetary and monetary policies are some examples of state intervention. The rescue job of the US administration was really an SOS operation.

The opponents of markets in India are hardly able to conceal their glee at the discomfiture of the United States and the native liberals. “Did we not always say that markets cannot work all the time and that they require some kind of monitoring and periodical course correction?”

The financial crisis in the United States has not come out of any imperfections of the market structure or mechanism. It brings out the cupidity of a handful of individuals who allowed themselves to be tempted into making subprime loans and citizens who are prepared to borrow beyond their means.

The trouble came because the bankers and the financiers for a moment allowed themselves to drift from the course of prudent bankers. This has happened in India and it can happen anywhere else in the world. Does a “South sea bubble” mean that free markets cannot work on their own without state intervention?

A prinicipal reason why the Bush administration was forced to act quickly and throw a helpline to the sinking companies was that it faces the prospect of elections just around the corner.

The American policies in Iraq and Afghanistan have become a burden for the Republicans. They can meet the challenge of the Democrats only if the domestic economy is in order.


The famous American humorist Art Buchwald commented on President Nixon’s Watergate crisis. “the reaction of the people to the crisis is determined in function of the beef prices in the market.”

The Bush administration could have carried the burden of Iraq and Afghanistan if only there were no recession and unemployment in the American economy.

Politicians the world over cannot take a longer than five year view of any situation. They have to act and remedy the situation before it starts affecting the prospects of the next elections.

The people at large can afford to have a much longer view than the politicians. However, even the common man’s perception does not allow him to see over a hundred or 200 years.

The average lifespan of a citizen is around 60 years. The first 20 and last 20 years do not play an important role in a citizens perceptions of economic systems. He can see at the most for upto 20 years. However, his attitude is likely to be governed by what is likely to happen in the next 10 years.


It is this gap between the sight spectrum of the politicians and of the citizens which is likely to cause serious problems for any economy governed entirely by the free market.

Economic systems work very much like the human bodies. It is the basic principle of naturopathy that bodies pick up diseases only when the human brain is allowed to make decisions that is contrary to the body instincts. All excesses in food and drink come from the cerebral cupidity and not from the working of the body itself.


Most medicines tend to suppress the symptoms and provide temporary relief without addressing the basic causes of the malady.

The subprime loans in the American financial system came at a time when the Bush administration was caught by its throat. It could not afford to do what the government of South Korea did at the time of the Asian crisis and let the miscrea banks just sink. Instead it went for a hefty helpline to the embezzlers at the expense of the taxpayers.

The miscreants, certainly, did not indulge in subprime lending without some kind of personal gain. The decision of the Bush administration will give some solace to those whose jobs may be saved. But in the long run it will encourage embezzlers who will always expect the government will not fail them and come to their rescue when it comes to the crunch.

There should be no doubt that the markets are self-correcting in the long run. The celebrated Vedic verse `dharmo rakshati rakshitah’ which means `religion protects, if protected in its own turn’ and this is true of the markets as well.

Markets protect if allowed to function. It is true that the self-corrections cycle of the markets take much longer than what politicians and citizens can see. It is also true that it will be extremely difficult to convince a citizen at any given time that he needs to suffer so that his grandchildren may benefit.

It is unfortunate that the electoral contingency made President Bush decide in favour of market intervention. That he has asked other governments to follow suit will certainly take away his moral authority to preach globalization of the WTO type. The next important decision President Bush may have to make will be about the Doha Round of the WTO.

What is the lesson for India in all this? On the number of occasions when the economic results were less than gratifying, the champions of liberalization have always argued that the defect was caused by lack of reforms and not excess thereof. The opponents of the market mechanisms, on the contrary, have argued that the entire malaise was on account of liberalization and lack of regulation.

Economic liberalization and globalization are not planks that can be easily sold to a political market.

The financial crisis of the type faced in the US now will make `entrepreneurism’ politically even more impossible than it is today. Socialism of any variety is easier to put up with for an average citizen. But disasters and collapse under socialism is far worse than the recession in the market at its worst.


But a true blooded Liberal need not despair. Perhaps, India an China and Europe may provide a better economic model than the US did.

Liberals need to be determined to keep ttheir flag flying till what is politically impossible becomes economically inevitable.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY BAPU

`Ban' de Mataram

Bapu on your birthday I write to you about a song they got wrong,

`Ban' de Mataram.....

For my personal security I wanted to buy bullets,

But the shops are shut.

It's your birthday....

Wanted to smoke

But only allowed to smoke fumes from Nano...

I checked into a 10 room hotel and

they said in ten years they will build a 30 room hotel so their poorer guests may smoke.

But bidis are tax-free to help the poor

and a cottage industry like your dream cotton spinning wheel,

every woman, every child makes them and smokes them at home.

Wanted a drink,

and was told it was not available on your birthday but available if I paid more,

Bribery is banned but if you have a crore then you can donate it to a party.

But not on your birthday.

On your birthday just ban everything...even telephones...this day the dial tones of BSNL talk about truth and non-violence

when all I want to do is call 911 to talk to you.

On your birthday they give you a `Nuclear' gift.

`Ban' de Mataram is their freedom song, not mine.

Pak Taliban leader Baitullah Mehsud `Not Dead'

BBC reports that the Pakistan Taliban leader Baitullah Mehsud is `not dead' and he was very surprised to hear the news of his death.

A Taliban spokesperson told BBC that their leader is fit and is celebrating Eid.

BBC also says Baitullah may marry his second wife soon?? Can u marry a wife?

Well, err....like always its not `Breaking News' but `Broken News'....

Baitullah is alive and so is Osama Bin Laden - safe and healthy in Pakistan.