Thursday, October 23, 2008

When Bihar Secedes from India

By Manuwant Choudhary

I enjoy driving in Patna these days. There is very little traffic, only a few autos and rickshaws, the roads look clean and wide...the city less dusty ....after Bihar students burn trains coming from India.

Indian newspapers still have most stories about Raj Thackeray walking free and none on why Bihar burns.

And driving around the famous round maidan I almost see a flutter in the skies - no not of pigeons and crows - but of flags of all nations.

I see hundreds of Mercedes and BMWs with those nice blue number plates drive past on tree-lined clean streets of Patna.

I also see a car without a beacon light drive past and I am told the lady in the car is the Prime Minister of Bihar, returning home to cook after a cabinet meeting. She is young, only 25 and single, pretty.

But traffic is never held up for her.

There are no road blocks in Patna.

I am also told how the Prime Minister of Bihar visited Nepal and solved Bihar's flood problem permanently.

She also invited the best engineers in the world to build a world class water management system and the contracts were given not to the lowest bid but the best bid - a system other foriegn governments now want to emulate.

In Japan, Korea, Hong Kong, London, New York... all airlines are booked as millions take their holidays to the worlds best managed nation....and all they need is a plane visas for Bihar.

Just then I hear a roar and I look up and I see Cathay Pacific preparing to land at Patna airport, yes its called just that.

And there are no statues in the parks and street corners...just flowers and fountains.

But most shockingly I hear no one gets kidnapped in Bihar and no murders. The police have been been disarmed and disbanded.

So no maoists either to blow up the police.

There is no income tax either and indirect taxes are the lowest in the world because Bihar has the smallest government - it has no government employees, even the Prime Minister maintains herself from the flowers she exports to Europe.

There is a flag, however, I did not recognise. A blue flag with a leaf.

I am told the Prime Minister of India (a small leftist country) has cancelled his Beijing visit to attend a very important meeting initiated by the Prime Minister of Bihar.

And all Prime Minister's of South Asia including Pakistan are flying to Srinagar in Kashmir to establish a Forum called `Free Your Mind' - even the Hurriyat support it.

The Summit will have a single agenda - to allow free movement of people and goods across borders.

It will be be headquartered in Srinagar - Jammu and Kashmir - which still remains an Indian state.

We are told all are attending, except Maharashtra where Raj Thackeray is Prime Minister.

But the Prime Minister of Maharashtra is under a lot of pressure as private companies shift their headquarters to Bihar.

The RBI, SEBI have long shut shop there after the stock market in Mumbai collapsed.

And Tata's tell Thackeray we need the minerals in Jamshedpur more than the Bombay House office.

And Maharashtrians are welcome in Bihar because all are welcome here.

Yet Bihar is not perfect and definitely not equal.


Varuna said...

Too funny.
But i loved your idea of many moons. I think nothing conveys more dramatically the darkness in India's poorest villages.

irajeshme said...

Ah! what a thought, in true darkenss comes the beacon of light, just a little curious, do you have a name or a face in mind for that 25 year old? is there a date to this view we are talking about?
and are the roads to my village made finally?
can i come back?

faizan said...

Fantastic. At least this fantasy provides some relief in a state which is burnt by sons of soil while venting their anger against somebody sitting pretty 2000 km away and laughing.