Its The Nose Dammit !!!

By Manuwant Choudhary

Rahul Gandhi has stopped relying on Digvijay Singh after the Congress Party defeat in Uttar Pradesh so he called me over to find out the real reasons behind the fiasco...imagine losing in Amethi !

Rahul: I can't rely on Congresswala's anymore for advice.

Me: But why Rahulji you have always relied on Congresswala's..look they are so loyal to you and your family.

Rahul: Yes, yes, that I know but I don't mean that....I mean they are too loyal..they tell me I am winning even when I am losing.

Me: But why me? I hate the Congress Party. I think the Congress Party has destroyed India.

Rahul: Yes, yes, we all know that..but for 22 years its these other parties who destroyed UP and UP is bigger than UK!
But I called you because you are the only one who wont mind telling me unpleasant things.

Me: Then am I your friend.

Rahul: No, no, you are definitely not my friend.

Me: Ok, what do you want to know.

Rahul: Just tell me that when I worked so hard why did the people vote for Samajwadi Party?

Me: I think they won because you tore their manifesto at a rally.

Rahul: No, no, no I was told people would like the angry young man look so I did that....

Me: But you see people do not like you tearing paper. Everyone loves reading manifestos...like everyone loves reading Salman Rushdie.

Rahul: What Salman Khurshid?

Me: No, Salman Rushdie the guy whom you have banned from coming to India.

Rahul: But thats because we don't want to hurt Muslim sentiment.

Me: But isn't Salman Rushdie a Muslim.

Rahul: Salman Khurshid doesn't like him just as much as he hates the Election Commission. But tell me why people actually hate us politicians.

Me: That makes you endangered.

Rahul: Yes, yes, I have been slogging to revive people's faith..carrying mud on my head, eating some rice in Dalit homes....throwing lavish ID parties to Muslims...but still I feel they are not voting for me.

Me: But what else have you done to protect the politicians?

Rahul: Apart from Z plus security we also banned liberal parties from contesting elections..only socialists and communists can run in elections.

Me: So why should you be bothered..afterall if you lost another socialist won.

Rahul: No, no...I am upset....these guys may be guided by Baba Ramdev

Me: But who advised you to wear the Muslim beard..I think thats why Baba Ramdev hates the Congress...you should grow it longer like the Baba...

Rahul: No jokes, just tell me why I lost.

Me: I've been thinking..and I think its the nose...

Rahul: What nose?

Me: Didn't you see Akhilesh Yadav..he has a long nose..like a long-nosed Bandicoot...!

Rahul: Errr what? But even Mulayam has a long nose so its like Gen Next...

Me; Yes, Like the new I pad..

Rahul: Yes, yes, but now they say Mulayam lost and Akhilesh won..how can you say that?

Me: Ofcourse you can... Akhilesh's nose is more crooked!