The Rape Guard Sun Glasses !

By Manuwant Choudhary

A sunglass shop in Patna is suddenly doing brisk business after the Indian parliament passed a law making even `looking at girls' a criminal offence like Rape.....its the only shop in the world that sells the Rape Guard Sun Glasses !

I found all the Romeo's who hang out at the Patna Women's College at the shop.

Romeo 1: What has this country come to?

Romeo 2: If we don't look at girls then who do we look at? You mean they want us to look at only old Congress politicians?

Romeo 3: No, no...we have to do something. I cant spend even a day without looking at a girl.

Romeo 2: But how can looking at a girl be the same as rape?

Romeo 3: I really don't know....they are saying its like visual rape....Sushmaji was so quiet in the debate...

Romeo 2: This bhartiaya naaree bit is going a bit too far....indian women are more scantily dressed than western women...

Romeo 1: yes i love the saree.....

Romeo 2: we are not rapists..we don't even whistle at girls..we just look..how can they send us to prison?

Romeo 3: I don't like the BJP...they even increased the age of consensual sex from 16 to 18....and their MLAs look at porn in the Karnataka assembly....

Romeo 2: The I think we should form a new party called Romeo Party of India.

Romeo 1: WE will get many BJP MLAS from Karnatataka...also Sharad ji can be our national convenor..this NDA is anyway splitting up....also some former Congress Governors are sexually active..

Romeo 2: yes, yes, I liked Sharadji's speech in parliament..he even voted against the bill....such an honest man....india's only honest politician.

Romeo 1: Lalooji also likes women..but he wanted the Khajuraho temple sex figurines to be all covered up.....I don't know what point he was making?

Romeo 2: These politicians you know.....when they say something they mean something else...

Romeo 1: You mean he meant the Khajuraho temple should be built in every state....

Romeo 2: Good idea....but will they allow us to look at temples also..see how they are banning Asharam Bapu from playing holi..nobody bans Lalooji from playing holi !

Romeo 3: Imagine being in prison ! But what will we do there? This morning a girl I refused to marry threatened me that she will send me to prison because I did not look at her !

Shopowner: Just buy the glasses my friends..you will never get caught....

Just then.....ambassadors with beacon lights lined up outside the shop...and all of India's topshots were there...sharadji, lalooji, mulayamji......

arre..arree....hamein bheee rape wala chashma dena....ismein 3 D hai ki nahin.....

Whats Italian About India?

By Manuwant Choudhary

Fiat.

Paneer Pizzas.

Sonia Gandhi.

Saif Ali Khan's former Girlfriend.

Like the Italian women Indian women too spend 23 hours a week in doing household chores, American women just spend four.

Buckets.

Italy has 1 Venice, India has many during the monsoon floods.

Corrupt democracies.

Italians like murderers to vote, we like to elect them.

Like we love anybody who goes to prison.

If the Supreme Court sends the Italian envoy to prison we may elect him too (in any case he is not allowed to leave India )

And finally, from Italy we just get news of some Bercosslini having sex with underage models, in India our parliament wants the whole of India to have sex with 16-year-olds !

India's Next PM?

By Manuwant Choudhary

After the sadhus blessed NAMO and want him to be India's next Prime Minister, even the Communists are brainstorming as to whom they will support.

As their support is crucial, journos like me always have one important commie source.

My source gave me this exclusive on the politburo discussions where all names came up...NAMO, NIKU, MUSI, MABA, RAGA, MASI, LAYA, LAAD......


Commie 1: This country needs a good PM and it is we the communists who decide that....

Commie 2: Really? And how is that?

Commie 1: You don't know...even the current MASI became PM because of us..so lets decide soon.

Commie 2: I hate the idea of NAMO becoming PM?

Commie 3: But why? NAMO after all gave land for NANO...something we wanted to give but MABA ruined it all...

Commie 1: No, but I am not convinced...why should we support NAMO who has killed 2000 Muslims?

Commie 2: Because NAMO will ultimately kill the BJP....don't you see he is bigger than the party.

Commie 1: yes, yes, like Hitler..no no, never NAMO....

Commie 2: Do you support NIKU then?

Commie 1: No, no MASI is better...

Commie 2: Besides, I think their party now wants RAGA....they all sing it all the time.

Commie 3: No, no we should support only someone who hates the Indian farmers like we do.....

Commie 2: Someone told be MUSI is also in the race.

Commie 3: MUSI is a rat who wears a red cap...see how they kill policemen is UP.

Commie 4: Imagine if MABA becomes PM?

Commie 1: We will not allow that....she meets Hillary Clinton all the time....

Commie 2: But LAAD is better than MASI......so many years in service of the nation and Hindutva....

Commie 3: WE have an old friend LAYA who also wants to be PM...

Commie 2: Let him first win his own seat in 2014.

Commie 1: Look we must be serious now...I think NAMO is a strong contender....

Commie 2: and why is that...

Commie 3: He will be completely in tune with our party line....imagine an Indian PM who can't get a US visa?

Nana Patekar For Prime Minister

By Manuwant Choudhary

Yesterday I watched two speeches...one by Narendra Modi (a Prime Minister aspirant from the BJP) and the other by Nana Patekar (an actor on Aap Ki Adalat) and I felt Nana Patekar would make a better Prime Minister.

His verse on `water' is amazing and also his `Ek macchar aadmee ko hijra bana deta hai..'

I am not sure I would like to watch the film 26/11 because of its director Ram Gopal Verma but Nana makes me want to watch it....he insists there are lessons in it.

But  what I liked about Nana is that he tells Rajat Sharma he is not here to promote his film but rather to talk to young people and express his feelings...he feels sad everyday he picks up a newspaper and reads about a terror attack....the terrorist could be anybody !

Nana Patekar spoke about his early life how he would walk 16 kms everyday at the age of 13 when he would have to stick film posters around the city...how he became a theatre artist and how it was actress Smita Patil who brought him into films.

A youth asked him whey he supported Raj Thackeray's anti-Bihar statements and he replied, "arre chhodo yaar...Bihar bhee apna hai..."

Beware of India's Goebbels

By Manuwant Choudhary

Just happened to check India's Information & Broadcasting Ministry's official website and on the top there was a `New' blink which read MyIndia Initiative soliciting volunteers to pledge to work as propogandists for the government of India on social media like facebook and twitter.

What China does in a clandestine way, India is doing officially !

Click the link and you will be taken to a page which asks you your personal details like passport, pan card etc and if you have access to a computer and how many hours you spend on it and also which social media you visit and how often.

Its MISSION is clear - it  is a pledge to work as a propogandist for the government of India.

Which means after a Chidambaram Style budget which really doesn't do anything for our economy...we will yet have lakhs of comments on facebook and twitter praising the man in the lungi.

Everytime the price of petrol is increased you willl see hundreds of comments which will say how good the government !

Every time there is a rape..you will have an army of comments blaming the girl....

Is the I&B minister Manish Tewari India's Joseph Geobbels?

At least from the comments to the MyIndia Initiative Indians do suggest him to be one.

Why would a ministry get involved in such an exercise?

As citizens of India - we the people -  work for India, not for ministers or governments.