GOLD DIGGERS ON A SUNDAY

By Manuwant Choudhary

A seer Shobhan Sarkar dreams of buried treasure and Bharat Sarkar goes digging at Duandia Kheda village in Unnao district UP, digging even on a Sunday!

I dedicate this piece to all of India’s Gold Diggers !

It is the Indian womans love for the yellow metal that takes away a substantial portion of our exchange reserves.

Finance Minister P Chidambaram’s appeal to the Indian women not to buy gold is like asking cyclone Phailin to return to Thailand !

So this seer promises that if a thousand tonnes of gold is found then India will not have to import gold for a year !

And India will  become rich. QED. (Quite Easily Done)

But the Wikipedia has another version of a Gold Digger..its says a Gold digger is slang for a greedy person (stereotypically a woman) who only dates (and subsequently marries) wealthy partners with the (typically) sole intention of exploiting said wealth. The term is usually pejorative.

But this is so limited….anyone actually can be  a gold digger.

Then there is something grosser than the above wikipedia description…the internet is full of them….which is to pick one’s nose…yes even celebrities are caught on camera..even the Queen !

But still that’s human.

It was quite hilarious when Nerendra Modi the BJP PM aspirant made his debut speech in Kanpur..one Samajwadi Party politician said that Modi is such an irritant, nobody is even watching him, everyone is interested in the treasure hunt in UP…

But Modi looked so sweatily happy in the humid afternoon in Kanpur….”Jahan tak main dekh sakta hoon wahan tak mund hee mund hain…” (As far as I can see there are only skulls).

Of course, Modi does not like skull caps.

But why just the ASI, even Modi was in UP as a Gold Digger….

He wants to exploit the sentiments in a way voters would vote for him.

So he talks like Laloo Yadav.

For a politician in India to be a poor man’s son is like striking gold.

Laloo ruled on that sentiment long enough and now Modi attempts the same….

Thankfully, some of our gold diggers are in prison.

And Rahuls attempts at phot-ops in dalit homes is just the same.

Have you noticed both the PM aspirants speak with their arms.

What India needs is someone who speaks their mind.

Returning to the wikipedia, I think now even men can be Gold Diggers.

Wait, actually I don’t mind being one.

If only I can date and marry Sonam Kapoor. (She plans to buy an apartment in Bombay but wants to continue living with her parents)

Does anyone know Sonam Kapoor?

And finally, this famous song from film Upkar ...Mere desh kee Dhartee...Sona Ugle..ugle heera moti...