Sunday, October 4, 2015

No Heroes (2) - Politics In The Cow Belt !

By Manuwant Choudhary

This election security in Patna is beefed-up.

And there he is...India's No.2  Amit Shah clambering up the staircase of 4 star Maurya Hotel.

In the BJP Shah is a big man...even literally.

And after BJP MP R.K. Singh's allegations that tickets are being sold, I wonder what was in the suitcases.

But then I also wondered how months ago Laloo predicted on television what the BJP plans to do in Bihar...spread rumours about pork and beef....only to benefit in elections.

Perhaps they could not do it in Bihar so now they have done it in UP...killing a man on rumours that he ate beef.

But I am more interested in what Amit Shah eats.

And Narendra Modi.

Besides, is killing a man a vegetarian thing to do?

Narendra Modi says only he can develop Bihar.

So I was curious what his vision is for the state.

Will he implement his Gujarat model on Bihar?

But that he has already done for India and Bihar is a part of India, I think.

So I actually  read the BJP's 10 point program for Bihar.

And No.1 on the list was to set up a cow breeding centre in Bihar.

Is that a vision for Bihar in the 21st C?

Is Bihar going to be happy with just cows and cow dung and selling their milk cheap to government owned companies?

You can't get rich with cows unless you are Laloo Yadav.

And why Laloo is ahead even here...he told the Income Tax dept. in the disproportionate assets case how he got two cows in his dowry and they became 300 !

So I met the Maurya chef to find out Amit Shah's diet.

Me: Aah now I know why Shah stays at Maurya its because of you..

Chef: No, no, not because of me..all top shots..even Modi they stay here...but I cant tell you what they eat.

Me: Do they eat hot jalebis..dipping in sugar syrup! Ah gimme some pls..

Chef: No, no it is against our company policy to tell you what VVIPs eat?

Me: I can understand the security and all that but surely a Rossogolla is a Rossogolla not a bomb!

Chef:  I am not telling you...not even what Shatrughan Sinha eats.

Me: Ya I was coming to that...Shatru definitely eats something the BJP wallahs don't eat...he gets away with criticising the Leader....

Chef: Shatruji is our permanent guest.

Me: But I thought he has a home in Patna...

Chef: Our food is better than home he stays here..

Me: Exactly, do you cook everything in ghee?

Chef: I can't tell you even that...

Me: Do you use multinational ghee or Ramdev babe ghee?

Chef: You want even ghee to be banned, like Maggi?

Me:  Katju is come out on his diet..."I Eat Beef", surely you can tell me what Shah eats.

Chef: No, never. You guys in the media will say we cook in Dalda?

Me: No, no, Dalda was banned a long ago when they found out it had cow fat in it?
But tell me about look so good together on the posters...white beard & black beard...

Chef: Their beard has got nothing with what they eat.

Me: I want to know what they eat is because they talk so much.

Chef: Ok, I will give you a hint like Amitabh Bachan...What is the opposite of Khokhla (Empty)...

Me: Aah...yes..yes...(thinking hard) Is it Dhokla ?


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