Dengue & Tab Tak Hai Jaan

By Manuwant Choudhary

I have noticed that this is definitely not the right muhoort to release films.

Just when Yash Chopra was to release his latest venture Jab Tak Hai Jaan, a mosquito bite killed him.



And when Jaspal Bhatti was to release his film `Power Cut' his car met with an accident kiling him.

But now the Dengue is all over....Bombay, Delhi, Bihar, Jharkhand, Chhatisgarh....

Yet, governments are busy giving clean chits to Robert Vadra.

And the Prime Minister is busy with reshuffles of his cabinet as one more minister is charged with corruption.

Manmohan Singh's government looks so unattractive now that even Rahul Gandhi does not want to join it.

And municipal corporations are in shambles today....with the Thane Municipal Corporation busy removing hoardings of Mandira Bedi instead of clearing the garbage.

India's civic standards must be the worst in the world.

So death and disease is natural.

Like these days Arvind Kejriwal is less visible....

And BJP Chief Nitin Gadkari has investors who illegally own half of New Delhi.

But I really think his company's name is accurate - Poortee - so he fulfils all needs of his friends and investors.

Dengue is just a reminder that India can never be a safe place to live with corrupt leaders being elected.

No Red Bra's Please !

By Manuwant Choudhary

Ever since the Thane Municipal Corporation (TMC) has banned the Mandira Bedi advertisement holding a red bra, sales of red bras have suddenly jumped....

Only if you are really lucky you will find a red bra on Warden Road lingerie shop or in fact anywhere in Bombay.

The advertisement campaign by Lintas featured Mandira Bedi holding a bra which said its good to get a breast cancer test done, but the Thane Municipal Corporation took off the hoardings saying they were in poor taste.

And red bras are not just all over facebook, but has become the preferred choice...

So I went to find out whether the TMC Commissioner was in fact a member of Tamil Manila Congress of Mamata Banerjee, why he did not like red bras...

TMC Commissioner: No, no. I am not a member of any political party....

Me: So why did you ban the hoarding? Is it that red means sex?

TMC Comm: I never said...its just that many people will see it...

Me: But sir, advertisements are meant for people to see....

TMC Comm: We just go by rules and our rules say that bras and panty ads must be in good taste.

Me: But sir, in the local train i saw bra and panty ads all over the compartments and even at railway stations...

TMC Comm: I am not the railway commissioner..

Me: Red bras actually look attractive but it could be any colour.....and ive seen magazines with women wearing red bras....and no editor says he will not take the advertisement...

TMC Comm: Editors want money all the time and they like to titilate their readers so women are wearing less and less these days..

Me: You mean to say you don't want money...your roads are full of garbage and you don't have the money to clean the streets even...

TMC: We do want funds but we are also the guardians of society..we cannot allow anyone to pollute our minds with red bras...

Me: But sir, this campaign is not about red bra..its about cancer awareness.....

TMC Comm: Aahh you think I am a fool...its like that advertisement with Shatrughan Sinha in his droopy eyes drinking soda...

Me: No, no, I mean really red means danger and 40 per cent women in Bombay are in danger of having breast cancer, 70 per cent all over India.

TMC: Look we have nothing written in our books about breast cancer...but we cannot be offensive in public.

Me: I agree but I still do not see how this is offensive...is it that you don't like Mandira Bedi..

TMC Commissioner: No, no, not like that I actually love Mandira Bedi...

Me: So whats your problem? Doesn't she look beautiful holding the red bra?

TMC Commsissioner: Not in ad..she looked good as an anchor at IPL...

Me: Aah you mean bra-less.....

Jaspal Bhatti's Power Cut - Misdirected by God

Misreported By Manuwant Choudhary

Indian Humorist Jaspal Bhatti dies in a car accident this morning when his car hit a truck at Shahkot near Jalandhar in Punjab where he had gone to promote his latest film `Power Cut'.

His son Jasraj and actress Surilie Gautam are also injured.

The good go first.

Famous for his skits like `Ulta Pulta' Jaspal Bhatti became a loveable character who took on the corrupt through hard hitting humour.

Like near Chandigarh where he owns a plot he put up a board saying it was a factory only for foundation stones and meant for politicians who only put up foundation stones.

His earlier stint on TV saw him make a sattire on corrupt builders.

Its an irony that just a day before the release of his film Power Cut....Jaspal Bhatti's life has been cut short.

I have very fond memories of Jaspal Bhatti.

As  a cub reporter with Bombay's Afternoon Despatch & Courier I got a letter from Mr. Bhatti and when we opened the envelope we found a petition written to the Chief Justice of the Bombay High Court.

In it Mr. Bhatti had prayed to the Bombay High Court that he be allowed to have three wives. (This was Mr. Bhatti's take on Boney Kapoor marrying a much younger actress Sri Devi...)

So I had taken  a Bombay local train to meet Mr. Bhatti.

At his apartment when I rang the doorbell Mr. Bhatti opened the door and welcomed me in...

And we talked for hours...on why he had written this petition to the Chief Justice.

Was he not happy with his wife? His family??/

And he replied, "No its not like that. I have come all the way from Chandigarh to get a break in Bollywood but here I have found that if you have only one wife you don't stand a chance of making it Big....Do teen biwiyaan and teen chaar affairs hone zarooree hain..."

And then he add, "But if this letter amounts to Contempt of Court, then please kindly ignore the letter."

I asked Mr. Bhatti what he did before he became an actor.

He replied, "I was an engineer at the Punjab State Electricity Board."

My next question was what his father did?

And he replied, "My father was a Chief Engineer at the Punjab Electricity Board."

And then he adds "Kya aapko yeh nahin lagta ki mujhe naukri pitajee ke sifarish se milee hai (Doesn't it look like I got the job because of my father?")

"That is why I quit the job and became an actor.."

As I left he gifted me an audio cassette (no CDs then)..."I am also the President of the Hawala Party".

In the tape there were songs like Jai Hawala..a sattire on the Hawala scandal where top Indian politcians had taken US dollars from terrorists.

So  Mr. Bhatti was the right man to make a film on `Power Cuts'.(Watch his tutorial on How To Kiss In The Dark !)

But sadly life is `Ulta-Pulta'.

Indiavikalp salutes the spirit of Jaspal Bhatti.

The Real Green Revolution

By Manuwant Choudhary

This driverless autonomous tractor by John Deere still under development is the real Green Revolution and not what the Congress Party talks about in Punjab.

This tractor is remote controlled via satellite and a  computer so you can plough your field without having to step out of your home.

In the fifties when India got its freedom many US tractor manufacturers wanted to set up base in India but the Congress leaders said that farming by the bullock was best for India.

At the time the bullock was their election symbol.

So while India kept voting for the bullock, India's farmers became poor.

There was very little investment in agriculture and technology in India and an over dependence on manual labour and fertiliser from state-run government corporations.

I was speaking to a John Deere India representative and he said that Indian farmers cannot afford to buy their products.

Automations have taken place in some pockets of India and it is the crudely manufactured implements in the small scale sector that has brought some relief to the Indian farmer, making it possible for him to even continue his vacation.

When elections near our politicians start talking about helping the farmer, like even now our Prime Minister says how FDI in retail is going to help the Indian farmer.

The truth is farmers are exploited all the way.

In the local markets prices are very low and where they are high the farmers have no access to them.

And maybe no means or volumes to send his produce.

China has less acreage under cultivation than India but its yield is thrice as much.

If China can do it, why can't India?

The farmers distress is telling in Maharashtra where thousands have committed suicide.

India's neglect of the farm sector is criminal.

No Protests For The Casteless Victim

By Manuwant Choudhary

Madhubani in Bihar is more famous for its paintings but in recent weeks it hit the headlines with violence.

A 17-year-old boy Prashant Jha went missing and after  a few days a headless body was found.

But the police refused to hand over the headless body to the family members of Prashant Jha although the family insisted that from the clothes found on the victims body it was clear the body was that of Prashant.

And so began the violence...police stations and government offices were torched..as well as government vehicles.

And while this was going on Bihar's two powerful politicians were on their yatras.

Chief Minister Nitish Kumar on his `Adhikar' yatra to get a `Special Status' for Bihar (although it is him who is responsible for dividing Bihar and making Bihar poor) and Laloo Yadav on a `Parivartan' yatra (notto change Bihar but to change the Chief Minister).

So the Madhubani violence ended both the yatras.....

The Communists called for a Bihar bandh and Laloo supported the bandh.

Under pressure Nitish Kumar transferred very good police officers of the region who were only doing their job (and insisted on a DNA test of the body) but the new officers hand over the body to the family of Prashant Jha.

And just when the opposition felt they had achieved their political aims the boy Prashant Jha was found with a girl Preeti Choudhary far away in Delhi (they had both run away from home and their state and only because they were in love) Is there no place for love in Bihar?

And Laloo looked dismal that his party had supported a bandh for a victim who is actually alive.

And Nitish said Laloo should apologise to the people of Bihar.

The Bihar police said Look we told you so.....

So after all this when people tried to contact the family members of Prashant Jha with the good news, no one was home because they were on the burning ghats to cremate the headless victim.

But no one in Bihar called for a protest for the headless, casteless victim.

He was not even  a Jha.

A Prayer For Malala Yousafzai

By Manuwant Choudhary

I have never been to Swat or even Pakistan yet today my heart reaches out to Malala Yousafzai, the 14-year-old brave Pakistani girl and fellow blogger, who took on the might of the Taliban at a time when Pakistan's government and military bowed to their pressures.

Malala, shot in the head by the Taliban, is still critical and may be flown out to the United Kingdom for treatment.

At the peak of the Taliban offensive she wrote a blog for the BBC Urdu service under a pen name Gul Makai and in a blog she writes how her father liked her new name and asked her if she could change her name and she quite liked the idea since her own name meant `Grief Stricken'...

She also writes about a Maulana who decided one fine day that girls schools should be shut down and girls should never study and how when they did not hear the Maulana on FM they wondered if he was dead or just on leave.

Its amazing how this girl writes on life under the Taliban...and when you read her you can see she was not afraid.

Freedom from Fear.

But Malala wanted just that for all the people of Swat and Pakistan. She writes, "There has been a blast in Lahore. But why do so many blasts take place in Pakistan?"

Simple questions but not many ask them and definitely not governments.

You can read her blog at http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/south_asia/7834402.stm

When Pakistan's government declared a ceasefire with the Taliban in Swat I had written a blog on the dangers of such an agreement and that in fact was a `surrender' of Swat by the government.

Of course, writers and journalists can only warn.

You can read that post dated February 15 2009 here http://indiavikalp.blogspot.in/2009_02_01_archive.html

But this day I join Pakistan to pray for Malala Yousafzai.

RTI - Right To Ignore

By Manuwant Choudhary

I am not interested in knowing who is Mr. Kejriwals next target but will be happy if anyone enlightened us on Mr. Kejriwals diet...and where he gets this energy to shout day in day out outside some Congressman's house.

Also what does he read when he is not protesting?

I would guess he reads the CAG report in his free time.

So if the CAG mentions you somewhere, then you may be next.

I remember the CAG report always had these zillions of suspected scams, some real some maybe not and as journalsists maybe in 5 years we would find something worth publishing.

And its not that we wanted to protect governments but its just that the CAG report was as drab and boring as any government official.

But I guess not anymore.

I am not sure who is right and who is wrong but Mr. Kejriwals antics have made the government sit up.

So the minute Mr. Kejriwal finishes talking to the media, we have the Congress spokesperson Live.

And then no later we have a string of ministers replying not to Mr. Kejriwals charges but to inisist  no investigation are needed.

Finance minister P.Chidambaram then Company Affairs Minister Veerappy Moily and also Salman Khurshid.

And also the Haryana government..it was nice to see the faces of the Haryana officials who have destroyed Gurgaon.

I recall visiting Gurgaon before and it was so much better, now there are metros all over and the roads are terrible.

And when everyone has finished the Prime Minister says frivilous information are sought under the Right To Informaton and that it violates privacy.

Actually it all started with an RTI activist seeking details of Sonia Gandhi's foreign tours...and he has got no reply for 2 years now.

And what the nantional media are not talking about is an RTI by Madhu Kishwar, editor, Manushi, seeking details of Rahul Gandhi's foreign travels and his official meetings if any...but so far no reply from the government.

Madhu Kishwar says people have been writing to her saying she is very brave to file such an RTI and she says there is nothing brave about it..its a simple query.

But the people who say she is brave know the Congress Party can harm her when they want.

Her other RTI is also interesting. She wants the written order for imposing the National Emergency in 1975 by the then Prime Minister Mrs. Indira Gandhi.

The Prime Minister should know that these RTI have nothing private about them...or even secret.