INS VIRAAT - Margdarshan Mandals Strike Back ! (3)

By Manuwant Choudhary

Narendra Modi is been having bad dreams ever since Mulayam Singh took on his son Akhilesh Yadav in UP, and Ratan Tata  ousts the young and dynamic Cyrus Mistry.

But he has had no time even to read Ratan Tata's letter.

The man who disturbs Modi's sleep is  L.K. Advani...the leader of the BJPs own Margdarshan Mandal.

When the `Hurriyat' in Kashmir refused to meet any of Modi's men or even our MPs, they agreed to meet a member of this `mandal' Yashwant Sinha.

How powerful?

But let me not digress, old aircraft carriers can be decommissioned, old factories scrapped but old ideas, prejudices, political ideologies, caste reservations  and old politicians continue...

I really enjoyed my stay on INS Viraat especially when we were allowed to go to any part of the ship we wanted.

It was fun.

We became children once more, discovering level after level with a wonder.

If I remember correctly, INS Viraat had seven levels..each one with those steel ladders like in a chimney.

I kept wondering how the ship moved.

Its only when we got to the engine room that our questions were answered.

The INS Viraat is a steam-driven ship.

Water from the sea is taken and boilers turn it into steam and the heavy pressures turn the engines turbine...

Even the water is purified and sent through pipes to different parts of the ship.

A wonder - maybe they should dock this in Tamil Nadu - so they stop fighting over drinking water..

But the engine room is hot..above 50 degrees at all times and the men who work there get only a 4 hour shift.

Its unbearable to spend more time near the furnace.

The perk - free ice-creams.

I met a few of the men enjoying their ice creams under a direct blast of cold air, soon after their duty got over.

I talked to them and admired them..they were in their vests..sweaty and exhausted from the heat....when one of them asked me where I was from?

I told them, "Bihar".

Their eyes lit up, their exhaustion gave way to smiles.

Most of them were from Bihar, some from UP - the men Raj Thackeray and Shiv Sena attack repeatedly.

But here they did not ask me my caste or religion, they were all proud Indians.

INS Viraat is a marvel !

But journalists are permitted to be nasty..so my main aim I confess was only to watch the defence minister rapple from one moving ship to another.

The last time the defence minister did this was Sharad Pawar, in his white trouser and shirt.

But our raksha mantri was Mulayam Singh Yadav and my imagination went haywire as to how he would rapple across ships, in high velocity winds, in his dhoti !

He chickened out at the last minute.

But I also wanted an exclusive interview with him, so one day I managed to shake off the other journalists and went around the ship looking for Mulayam Singh Yadav.

And what luck when I see Mulayam Singh Yadav alone on the deck, looking pensively into the Arabian Sea...

Here was what I was waiting for...

I went close to him..real near..and was about to tap him on his shoulder when I stopped.

Mulayam was not wearing a dhoti, but a pyjama !

I looked closely - he turned out to be Mulayam's brother - Shivpal Yadav !(The man in the eye of the storm in UP now)

INS Viraat - War Games On The High Sea (2)

By Manuwant Choudhary

The giant INS Viraat is the real `mothership' and not what Modi was talking about.

Actually Narendra Modi cannot offend even the word `mother' so in describing Pakistan, he, at the last second, called it the `mothership' of terror.

But on INS Viraat even an ant can feel the power.

The aircraft carrier is huge and you don't feel sea sickness at all.

When it sails..it has speed...a momentum that you know you can easily finish Karachi and more.

An aircraft carrier is not for defence, but offence, so every time our politicians tell us how we buy arms only for our self-defence, remember this.

Yet, as I looked out at the the blue as far as one could see, my respect for the fishermen who live at the Machchimaar Nagar, Cuffe Parade in Bombay, grew even more...so far away from India's coastline, there they were fishing in the deep waters.

The small boats tossed against the waves...and their communication systems may have been rudimentary at best.

Just to earn a living.

A naval exercise of this scale requires international permissions so that commercial liners don't use this area.

But  getting the smaller fishing boats out of the way is the real challenge.

So helicopters, equipped with loud speakers, make the final sorties warning  all boats to leave the area.

The other thing is protection to the aircraft carrier itself.



So there were eight war ships on either side. with warrior names ....like INS Ranbir..equipped with the best guns to prevent any enemy ship to get within range.

Its deafening so they gave us ear plugs...

I walked around the top deck taking the photos when senior officers were not looking....behaving like a pro....

The sunrise and the sunsets are beautiful..so complete...unobstructed by any man-made `developments'.

I don't think one can feel this way even on an expensive luxury liner.

And then the night...

Its scary..the sound of a ship moving into the darkness at a speed measured in Knots.

The sounds were poetic of the Tennyson kind in `The Charge Of The Light Brigade'

"Cannon to right of them,
Cannon to left of them,
Cannon in front of them
Volley'd and thunder'd;
Storm'd at with shot and shell,
Boldly they rode and well,
Into the jaws of Death,
Into the mouth of hell
Rode the six hundred.

 We were given the best rooms, meant for the pilots, it had iron beds and a small basin in the corner, just enough to move but not stretch.

I thought of the pilots in wartime !

When at some unworldly hour we were woken-up and without even getting a chance to wash up, we had to get on the deck...climbing steep iron ladders virtually up a chimney...

It must be 2 am.

No fishing boats around..

And there we were ..

Then a Boom !

A flash of lightening.

A ship alongside fired a missile...

And within a few seconds another ship fired another missile.

We could see one missile chase the other...

Until, in the distant, we got see the second missile hit the first.

An explosion...just a dot...(faster than any camera to catch)...

 An extra-terestrial experience, more like a collision of comets.

Aboard INS Viraat - A Journey On The High Seas (1)

By Manuwant Choudhary

Its funny how one suddenly remembers something... It can be anything...someone..or simply a journey.

Two days ago I kept thinking about my trip aboard India's aircraft carrier the INS Viraat, so I searched the net and got latest news reports of the Indian navy decommissioning the old lady - age 57 years.

INS Viraat is even in the Guinness Book of Records as being the oldest aircraft carrier in the world.

Viraat is the Sanskrit word for Giant, India had purchased the HMS Hermes from Britain in 1987 after its illustrious career of 27 years that includes the Falkland Wars.



In the early 1990's as I worked as a reporter in Bombay I got a call from the Public Relations office of the Indian army, "Would you like to visit  Kashmir - as a guest of the Indian army?".

The catch - all reports would have to go through the military intelligence censors - word by word - before being published.

I declined.

So some months later I got another offer...a trip aboard INS Viraat - India's aircraft carrier.

Journalists have a term for such trips - its called a `junket' - where you go have a good time and if you are really kind you write a smallish report.

But the PRO this time knew I would never go if they censor our reports.

So he said, "We will not censor your report this time. Is that OK? But no photographers please.."

So I asked him, "Can I at least take my own camera?"

He replied, "No, thats against the rules...We will have an official photographer onboard."

So I told him, "Then I will not go."

He again pleaded, "Ok you can take a small Hotshot camera."

I said, "But I don't have a small camera. Mine is a BIG Canon..."

Very reluctantly, "Ok bring it along but I have not told you anything. Is that clear?"

I said, "Clear".

So I found myself onboard a naval vessel and for hours we tossed on the Arabian Sea...
and then we were taken on a Westland helicopter to INS Viraat...

My editor Behram Contractor, I recall, did not like the idea...he knew it was a junket...a joy ride..no serious journalist would go.

He was right.

The helicopter ride I remember felt like a tractor !

Sabse Khatarnaak - The Most Dangerous Thing - By Paash - Hindi Poetry

Exclusive - Inside Karan Johar's New Film Minus Fawad Khan !

By Manuwant Choudhary

Now its final - Karan Johar will never cast Fawad Khan or any other beauty from Pakistan - but he is faced with a task - finding a Fawad Khan replacement for his new film.

So a much pressured Karan called me over to brainstorm...

As I entered his plush bungalow with those green carpets and staircase leading to the floor above, he greeted me -

Karan: Bharat Mata Ki Jai !

Me: Common ya, you can just say Hi, no need for all that...

Karan: Are you mad? This is Mumbai, not Bombay...everyone has to say it. Just like you have to stand before every film when the national anthem plays.

Me: I do not mean disrespect but is it true that people in Mumbai are the only patriots in India, no national anthem is played elsewhere...

Karan: I am a peace loving guy and who wants all this ruckus...so just do what you are told..and Bharat Mata Ki Jai !

Me: Lets get to the point why have you called me?

Karan: I can't get a replacement for Fawad Khan...

Me: You mean you want me to replace Fawad Khan...I have no class....I am not from Lahore or Islamabad..I am from goddam Bihar...

Karan: Thats besides the point. You can't even act...

Me: Thank God ! Imagine having to dance with Sonam Kapoor !



Karan: Can you suggest names?

Me: (Thinking hard)..How about Dilip Kumar?

Karan: He is from Pakistan...he even got their highest civilian award...and he is too old..I need someone like macho Fawad Khan...

Me: The only evergreen actor is Dev Anand...

Karan: Again NO, even he is from Pakistan....and isn't he dead?

Me: Ok, ok, how about the three Khans...Shahrukh, Saif and Aamir...

Karan: I don't want to take any more risks with that surname...

Me: Has anyone threatened you..they are Indian, not Pakistani...

Karan: What happened To My Name Is Khan?

Me: I can tell you Bollywood is really short of decent actors...how about Tiger?

Karan: You really want me to get kicked out of India like M.F. Husain? Tiger Memon you suggest the guy who bombed Mumbai and got his passport in two hours !

Me: No, no I never meant him....even he may be in Pakistan....I was suggesting Tiger Shroff..see how he romances with Disha Patani - starts kicking all around her. - he is definitely better than Fawad..

Karan: I need someone politically correct...

Me: Ok how about Dr. Manmohan Singh  - the loyalist.

Karan: He is also from Pakistan.

Me: L.K. Advani??

Karan: He is also from Pakistan?

Me:  Raj Thackeray?

Karan: But his chest size is not 56 inches...

Me: You want Modi then?

Karan: I already asked him but he is too busy with China, US, Russia and Pakistan...

Me: Pappu Yadav....

The Hindu Guarding A Church

By Manuwant Choudhary

Bachcha Singh is not a big man...he is simply a private security guard at the Christ Church near Patna's Gandhi maidan, established in 1852 its the oldest Church in Patna with ties to the Church of England.

Its located on the eastern side of Patna's Gandhi maidan and you can see its steeple rise high above the giant hoardings, it looks pristine amongst the unplanned, haphazard urban landscape we call `Smart'.

So I felt like visiting Jesus but wasn't sure about its timings.

The guard Bachcha Singh informed that prayers are held on Sundays from 7 am to 12 noon.

I told him I wasn't a Christian so could I visit and this led to him talking about religion, morals and his own life.

It was so different from what the country's `chowkidaar' and the RSS preach.

Bachcha Singh, "Sir, people come here to pray because they want `Shanti' (peace) and all religions are the same in that sense. There is no difference."

"But to have peace you also need to keep a few things in mind".

I asked him what, "Life is like a candle...today is gone...it will never come back and your life on this earth is only getting shorter..so what do you want to do with your life of what remains?"

"Two things once they leave never come back, one is life itself (Praan) and the other is a promise. Don't make a promise but if you do then give your life for it."

He went on, "But what I have just told you is not the easy path....your nearest ones can get in the way. Too much of friendships and too much enmity are both dangerous."

I asked him like what, "You may have decided to spend your life with your wife but what happens when she fights with you if you don't give her money. The India today has changed. Before I could educate my younger brothers and my wife would support me, now she will say why don't you save money for your own children?"

"Sir, more people get killed in the villages than on the border, for land and even smaller disputes."

He then told me about how he became a security guard,

"I wanted to join the army..selection ho bhee jaata..but my father refused to pay Rs.4,000 bribe money....Had he paid that then like so many jawans I would have retired and would be getting a pension."

"Now I earn Rs.6,500 a month and I have children to educate and a daughter to marry."

His face then lit up.

"But sir, I am standing at this church and I know God looks after me...because even with me being so poor I managed to get my daughter married. The first family I approached they agreed. The expenses for marriage is high...some I had saved others my former officers where I worked they helped me out. For me this is a miracle."

He then spoke about the middle path....almost like Buddha...its not good to create enemies..its better to walk in the middle.....

Just then a loaded cart  sped out of the Church gate and Bachcha Singh had to shout, "Hey, you stop..what are you trying to steal !"

In French, the trait that best describes Indian politicians

Pink Floyd - Another Brick In The Wall

Goa Is Not For BRICS Summit

By Manuwant Choudhary

I've  never been to Goa but this has nothing to do with me not being a beach person.

Yet when I watch the news and Goa these days its all about  not so great politicians and their arms deals.

Goa is about sun, sand and sea and definitely not about more nukes, missiles and terror !

So I just switch off !

A former Portuguese colony Goa is pretty and some 4 lakh tourists visit each year but this is less than in Bihar (although they may be spending more and staying longer).

The little bit I know about Goa is from my friend late Sauvik Chakraverti's blog The Antidote (now shut).

He would write some great stuff from Goa.

Like he would write against the indiscriminate mining in Goa, "Thank God I am a writer and I am not some guy digging dirt somewhere."

Or he would talk about where there should be  a road or a bridge to shorten distances.

And he would write about freedom.

Yet, Goa's peace has also been disturbed in recent years.

So has its image.

                                                       First, when Sarah Keeling, a British teen, was raped and murdered.

And after years of court cases, all the accused have been set free.

Recently, Monika Ghurde, India's famous perfumer, was raped and murdered in her apartment.

A former apartment guard has been arrested.

Law and order is a prime concern, unfortunately governments spend all their time elsewhere.

Like India's defence minister Manohar Parrikar is credited with first supporting Narendra Modi as Prime Minister.

In return he is India's defence minister.

And now he says he is India's best dressed defence minister. (He wears a crushed half-shirt with baggy trousers and chappals !)

What about Babu Jagjivan Ram and Mulayam Singh Yadav in dhoti? I thought dhoti's are Indian and dignified.

In Parrikar's Goa, governments spend money on booklets on what tourists should wear and what they should not, like they must not ride a bike topless (in English and Russian).

Wonder, what booklet they gave Putin !

Just an after thought. What if Peru instead of Brazil was a member of this new club, what would it be called - PRICS .....

India's Great Depression

By Manuwant Choudhary

These days everyone is so depressed...Deepika Padukone, Karan Johar and even Barkha Dutt.

But in all the TV interviews its been hard, really hard to get to the bottom of it.

It goes on and on....so I searched the net to get some reasons.

And what I found were only fan support for Deepika.

Why not? She has had five back to back super-hit films.

Is success the cause ?

I've enjoyed her films and she comes across as a happy and fit person.

She is a great actor.

Or is it love and the break-ups?

Im sure she has been through that enough of times already?

Not for Ranbir Kapoor, definitely.

Those tears look too beautiful.

And then she launched a Foundation "Live, Love & Laugh".

She forgot one word - CRY.

 Karan Johar, the handsome producer/director, host, now even he is depressed.

I've enjoyed watching his celebrity interviews...how easily they open up to him, sitting on a couch, drinking Coffee with Karan !

Even my old friend Saif Ali Khan smiles on his shows, not once getting angry or violent !

As a reporter in Bombay I've not been so lucky especially with actresses and models !

They would just clam-up.

The only exception being Nikki Bedi.

She would go into her kitchen and get those endless cups of coffee and little heart biscuits while our photographer  was like inside her closet..making her get into those minis as many times as they wanted. She was such a sport.

Until, of course she giggled at some Gandhi comment on her Nkki Tonight show and Gandhians forced her to leave India.

I felt sad.

I think its alright to feel depressed.

We all do.

The reasons may vary.

Like Khushwant Singh writes, "Its tragic that a clean man like Manmohan Singh loses an election while Phoolan Devi wins."

"Chargesheeted politicians like L.K. Advani and Murli Manohar Joshi continue to hold office. The situation is really pathetic; it cannot get worse. I drown my sorrow in a glass of whisky every evening..."

In these good times (acche din) even markets are depressed.

 My reason for being depressed - Narendra Modi is India's Prime Minister.

But living in Bihar Nitish Kumar denies me even the whisky to drown my sorrows...

Hindu Leaders, Not Jinnah First Proposed the Partition of India

                                          In Mourning - By Satish Gujral

By Manuwant Choudhary

For three months now the state of Jammu & Kashmir is in a lockdown.

The PDP-BJP government in Kashmir twiddle their thumbs.

Almost on a daily basis there are reports of either a terror attack or cross-border firing and casualties that come with it.

Most of India regard Mohammed Ali Jinnah as the villain of the piece, someone solely responsible for the partition of India.

A video on the Rashtriya Swayamsevak Sangh (RSS) website mentions how RSS carried out relief work during partition.

It also mentions that Gandhiji even attended some of their sessions and that they were wrongly blamed for his assassination.

The video highlights the greatness of its Hindu leaders in nation building.

Just yesterday the Prime Minister paid a similar tribute to Deendayal Upadhyay (founder of Jana Sangh, the party that preceded the BJP), "A nations army must be powerful only then can the nation be powerful."

It doesn't surprise me why Gandhiji, a great practitioner of Hinduism, never became an RSS member.

A.G. Noorani writes in detail in Frontline how it was Hindu leaders who first proposed the Partition of India. http://www.frontline.in/static/html/fl1826/18260810.htm

And Khushwant Singh in his book - Absolute Khuswant - writes about his pain at leaving Lahore.

"In fact, Jinnah, who was very close to my father. had told him that I could stay in Lahore and he'd also told my father that he'd make me a judge at the Lahore High Court."

"In India long before Jinnah came up with the two nation theory, it was people like Keshav Baliram Hegdewar, Bal Gangadhar Tilak, Lajpat Rai and V.D. Savarkar who had come up with the Hindu nation theory. Lajpat Rai had even drawn a map of divided India, dividing the country into two parts along religious lines. It was a botched-up surgical operation."

"India's arms were chopped off without any anaesthesia and streams of blood flooded the land of the five rivers known as Punjab."

"War broke out between Muslims on one side and Hindus and Sikhs on the other. It was not like other wars where armed men battle each other, but one in which one side, armed with swords, knives and staves, slew the other, unarmed and unresisting.

"Over ten million were uprooted from their homes...a million killed in cold blood and almost overnight Muslims, Hindus and Sikhs became sworn enemies."

Khushwant Singh was himself present outside the Indian Parliament when Nehru gave his midnight speech...outside they were all chanting Bharat Mata Ki Jai.

He writes, "Mahatma Gandhi did not take any part in the independence celebrations. He remained quiet and went on a fast."

Gandhiji told his secretary Pyarelal, "I find myself alone...but let it not be said that Gandhi was a party to India's vivisection."

Let us not forget that it is this history of India that has propelled a Narendra Modi as Prime Minister, seeds that were sown long ago...before India's birth.

Its still midnight here and no dawn yet in Pakistan...

(The Partition Project - A group of citizen historians are recording events from the Partition of India by interviewing people who lived through it and it will be released in 2017.)

My Father Would Have Loved MS Dhoni

By Manuwant Choudhary

My father would have loved MS Dhoni, not because his `Untold Story'  earned 85 crores, but because Mahendra Singh Dhoni represents the India of my fathers dreams.

India as a sporting nation not a bickering one.

Like Dhoni my father was a footballer - a goalkeeper !

From the bits and pieces I recall...he played for the Benares Hindu University.

In college when his friends would be going to watch a Waheeda Rehman film, my father would be in shorts heading either to the football field or to play tennis.

Once and only once a friend of his managed to force him for a film...and he landed up at the cinema hall in shorts and football boots and a tennis racket!

He also loved being in the NCC (National Cadet Corps) and after University he wanted to join the Indian army..he did get a call letter but the family didn't let him.

Many years later he would roar, "Had I joined the Indian army I would have been a Brigadier or a General !"

But his passion was sports.

When he completed his graduation from BHU my grandfather sent his Munshiji (Manager) to check the results.

The Munishji started checking for his name in the list from top..and it was a long list...so my father told him, "Munshiji neeche se dekhiyega naam jaldi mil jayega" (Munshiji check from below you will get the name fast !)

And there it was...a pass with a third division...and nearly at the bottom !

My father would often tell us this story while my mom would try to keep him quiet, she would say he was too easy on his children. He never hankered after marks and saved our day when we did not do so well.

After BHU he joined the Bihar University only to play football...taking the university football team all over India.

In fact he kept playing right until 1970 when he fractured a collar bone.

But my father never bragged about his achievements.

As a school student in Darjeeling in the eighties I sensed his humility first hand.

We used to  always stay at the New Elgin Hotel.

And I think it was October..the Football Gold Cup tournament was on..

It was raining heavily as we got into the hotel lobby.

My father was in his usual crumpled kurta-pyjama as if just from a train journey.

No one would have bothered to be even know him

Just then a voice rings out loud and clear , "Arre Choudhary !"

My father turned and a man in blue track suit came and hugged him with joy..they were meeting after almost 30 years !

The man in the tracksuit was legendary Indian footballer PK Banerjee.

The hotel lobby was crowded with men in tracksuits..the East Bengal team.

PK Banerjee, their coach then, introduced each one of them to my father as if my father was Jawaharlal Nehru..

As the players shook hands with my father, PK told them "Choudhary was among the best goalkeepers in India".

My father laughed, "PK thats why we lost 16-0 to you and Calcutta University !"

PK, "Choudhary, but thats not entirely true...from Bihar University you were the only one playing...you must have saved dozens of goals that day in Jaipur ! How well you played !"

PK had gone on to play for India in 85 games scoring 65 goals !

And one of the first recipients of Arjuna Award...

Later PK became a coach for various clubs and the Indian team.

My father never liked cricket that much but when television came to India I would often find my father watching cricket in black and white..and inquiring about the score.

I have never cared for sports that much and so I nearly failed my journalism test when I put rugby above cricket....

Or when my editor Behram Contractor asked me to meet some Australian cricket
coach..it was like my toughest assignment.

But many years later I see their point.

I watched Dhoni with interest....not for cricket but his story and I salute his grit and determination...a role model for Indians.

But what lingers on forever is a small part in the film - Dhoni's first girlfriend Priyanka Jha.

Why The Dalai Lama Visits Mosques !

The Dalai Lama in his own style visits Mosques in Laddhak before visiting the Buddhist Monasteries...listen to his talk..its his way to fight terrorism...perhaps his is the only way to do it...through a message of love and peace (not surgical strikes). He also speaks against the exclusivity of religions...even Puri's Hindu temple did not allow his entry.

My Surgical Strikes !

By Manuwant Choudhary

The Operation srtarted at 2 am.

Under cover of darkness I picked him up from his launch pad...

And then I peeled into him.

Slowly at first..then faster.

Using surgical precision.

He was green in color.

The only thing in my mind was how good he would taste.

As the knife sliced into him...I could feel my country's joy.

The knife glistened in the moonlight.

As I went about my job.

I had to be careful so there are no casualties on our side.

We are all `buddies' after all.

This is not for the meek-hearted.

If you get  captured then you must have strayed across...

I cut him into two first, then four..then smaller bits and pieces.

I like them small.

My hands were gory.

But i went on...

The hunger in my belly...for my country.

What a feast !

My chest size went from 25 inches to 55 inches !

A secret video is filmed for the record.

Its daybreak so I return to bed.

No you got it all wrong....I was no Bihari jawan in PoK.

My surgical strikes were on Karachi Mangoes.

They call em Langda (Lame) (available in Patna for Rs.300 per kilo)