Urea Gayab !

For my wheat crop I wanted to purchase two 50 kilo bags of urea and here is my experience as I went looking... Shop 1: You don't know there is acute urea shortage in Bihar? Me: I heard that but maybe you would have some old stock. I need only two bags. Shop 1: Sorry. Shop 2: I do have two bags but I can give you only if you buy 500 kilos of calcium from me. Me: But my crop does not require calcium, it needs urea to grow? Shop3: Why do you want to spend money on chemical fertilizer. Modiji wants every farmer to switch to zero farming! Me: But zero farming will bring zero yield. There is not enough manure to fertilize all of India. Shop 4: Wait for two more days. Baba Ramdev has promised to supply Gaumutra Urea! All you need is to spray them on the crop! Me: But it has rained now so I need to get urea now. Shop 5: The only place you might find urea is in Gorakhpur but you have to be a voter of UP to get a bag! Me: But I did read the Bihar agriculture minister Shri Amrendra Pratap Singh say there is no shortage of urea in Bihar Shop 6: Shortage is not there... The urea is in the train racks... and they have all been parked in Gorakhpur. wahan chunaav jo hai. Shop 7: Okay if you buy 1000 kilos of zinc I will give you the urea. Me: But I just want urea. Just then someone from a corn field called me. Him: If you buy 500 bottles of Vodka then I will give you the urea for free. Me: But isn't alcohol banned in Bihar? Him: Yes it is banned but it is available. And urea is not banned but it is unavailable. Me: So does the government need to ban urea to make it available? Him: Haan kuch aisa hee chal raha hai aajkal. Shop 8: If you are willing to get beaten up with a lathi then you might get a bag in Supaul. Me: Lathi does not sound like a good idea and even there the queue is like 10 kms.... I don't know how far I must have wandered.. Shop 9: Ah you want urea... Me: Yes. yes. please. Shop 9: We can give you urea even without aadhar card but for that you will have to buy Bharat Petroleum Corporation Limited. I had reached the Prime Ministers Office.. but sadly I am not Anil Agarwal!