The Vaastu Shastri !

India's most famous Vaastu Shastri approached a beautiful bungalow in Delhi. And he looked around and discovered 600 pages of dosh or faults with it. He got it all written down and of course it was all a secret document. But Delhi is an amazing place, everything leaks. So the document was on Whattsapp and that too in a group of journalists. So it was all over the news. Anchors quoting clause 6 (I) at at back of their fingers. Like which walls need to be demolished. Or how the puja room should move to the east. Toilet to the south. Treasury to the north. And like old servants of the house need to be retired. It was all for a new house in New India... A pond on the north west. And no swimming pools. It was so detailed that even architects would admire it for the facts. Structural changes must be made such that the owner prefers to stay in Nainital. And just when the demolition of the house was to begin, the owner a lady told the Vastu Shashtriji if he could wait in the shamiana in the garden where twenty other pundits are sitting. The Vastu Shastri just left. The house owner was none other than a lady Sonia Gandhi. And the Vastu Shastri one PK!

The Dowry!

As I had my lunch two men sat at the table next to me. They ordered the usual Thali and so I did not expect their conversation to be anything spicy. But as they spoke it got interesting. And I think many young people go through this dilemma. The younger of the two was expecting to get married so his elder freind had taken him out to lunch to hear him out and give some friendly advice. Bridegroom To Be: You know everyone takes a dowry in Bihar. Yahan to yahee culture hee hai. Aajkal if you have a decent job, then starting dowry rate is 25 lakh rupees. Friend: So how are you dealing with your parents? Bridegroom To Be: Bahut mushkil hai unhein samjhana. Aur ladkee waale ko bhee. I don't want to take any dowry. Friend: So did you tell them. Bridegroom : Yes I did. But they did not take it kindly. In such situations it's best to rem ain quiet. They said dekho kaise usne bola. Ghamandi aur rude hai ladka. Friend: So what will you do? Bridegroom To Be: Can't understand anything. I have a basic salary and right now I am happy. I don't think the dowry will make me happy. There will be expectations. Friend: Yes, yes. But ultimately affections win the day. Although it's all a trap. Bridegroom To Be:And if you don't take dowry people say its a love marriage. Friend: Haan haan. Not just that they say ladke mein zaroor koi defect hoga! Bridegroom : Ekdum aap sahee jagah pe hit kiya. Aur age mein bhee antar hoga. Age gap hoga zyada... Friend: You should just tell them NO Dowry. Bridegroom : Yeh shadee bhee museebat hai. Main to khush hoon abhee....

Hindutva On Hawagaree!

Yesterday as I took an e-rickshaw my co-passenger said "Jehangirpur mein jo bulldozer gaya hai wo theek ho raha hai." I shot back, "Galat ho raha hai. He said what about the riots? I told him how even the riots are engineered... both Hindus and Muslims involved in the riots are Modi followers. And the bulldozers are sent to crush only the poor Muslims to influence Hindu voters... It's the messaging. He seemed unconvinced. So I told him I want to get rid of both Modi and Nitish by 2024. He supported me on Nitish but opposed me when it came to Modi. I told him how Hindus were suffering under Modi ..the economy does not differentiate. Hindus have become poor. Kya desh ko Gareebsthan banana hai ? As we spoke the Supreme Court heard the matter and fortunately stayed the demolition drive. From Ram Rath to the Bulldozer, the Hindutva cycle is complete. But my fellow passenger got off the e-rickshaw even before his destination...

Friday Prayers!

I am getting my old car the 118 NE restored... Its been in the garage for two years due to COVID disruptions and unavailability of parts. Like I now know more about a carburetor than even the mechanics. Even how Indian companies tried to cheat the Japanese, their court battles and s

ettlement. Also a group for 118 NE on facebook helps with the spares. Like I managed to get two rear door glasses from Jalandhar in Punjab, from a 118 NE graveyard. It was like organ donation from a sister or brother. Even the slightly green tints matched. Modi and Gadkari want to crush old cars with their bulldozers. They do not understand car 💏 or love. The garage is located in a mazhar so everyday I hear their prayers and see the faithful bow to the almighty. The Friday prayers are most important and as I sat in the heat I heard the maulvi talk against those who hoard gold and silver. He spoke of zakat and charity... how if you build one mosque here you will get a beautiful house in jannat. Inside the mazhar a Sufi saint lies buried. And next door is the Patna High Court. The Ram Naumi is over and the sword wielding Hindus have spared Patna from violence. In fact they even lowered the bhajan volumes at times of the Muslim Azan. But Gujarat and Madhya Pradesh were not so lucky. A Hindu shopkeeper in Patna seemed visibly angry at the sword wielding Hindus. This can never be right, he told me. Even I have Ram in my heart. But how can I bare my chest to show him to you ? My car mechanic is an old timer, his hair whiter than the whitest Amby. But he claims he is actually not so old. In fact my hair should have been black. So what happened? I was in this saloon and I closed my eyes to get my hair dyed. When I woke up there was this burning sensation. And instead of black, my hair turned full white. As he paints my car, I am hoping the car remains white. In India anything can happen...