A Ticket to Delhi Please!

By Manuwant Choudhary

I visited the Patna Railway station yesterday and guess who was in queue - India's former railway minister Laloo Prasad Yadav.

Lalooji: Dilli ka ek ticket dena (get me a ticket to delhi).

Ticket Clerk: Pehle aap line mein lagiye (First you get in line).

Lalooji: Don't you know who I am?

Ticket Clerk: No.

Lalooji: I am Shri Laloo Prasad Yadav...two days ago I was your railway minister.

Ticket Clerk: I do not know any railway minister.

Lalooji: Arre jaldee kar...train choot jayegee..

Ticket Clerk: Kaun See Train? (Which train?)

Lalooji: UPA train..nayee walee.

Ticket Clerk: Ab Bihar se koi nayee train nahin hai...sab UP se khultee hai..(Sorry no new trains from UP sabhee naye train UP se khulte hain..)

Lalooji: Tumko hum coolie se clerk banaye aur too itna kaam bhee nahin karta mere liye (I made you a clerk from a coolie and you cant do even that much for me.)

Ticket Clerk: Hum bhee to mantri se jantree bana diye aapko. Do you have a reservation on UPA train to Delhi?

Lalooji: Are kya reservation? Tumko pata nahin Mandal Reservation ke log hain hum.

Ticket Clerk: Wo nahin..train ka reservation.

Lalooji: Dekho uuu sab humko nahin pata hai..Arree sadhua ko bulao to isko dekh lega.

Lalooji ka aadmee, "Sadhuji ka to jamanat japt hai..aur unke paas to Patna aane ka bhara bhee nahin hai. Aur uuu to aapse naraaj hain."

Lalooji To Ticket Clerk: Arre bhai..reservation kya ..humko to tatkaal chahiye..paisa jo lena hai lo..."

Ticket Clerk ka phone baja..."Main Congress Adhyakhs Anil Sharma bol raha hoon...agar tatkal diya Lalooji ko to naukri gaya."

Ticket Clerk: Dekhiye Khirkee chodiye...aap helicopter waale train se kyon jaana chahte hain?

Lalooji: Are helicopter crash ho gaya isliye.

Tabhee pichee se...."Arre jaldee kar..hum bhee poorva railway mantri hain...

Ram Vilas Paswan apna samaan khud uthaye hue...."Aaj mujhe yeh din dekna par raha hai..na gendaa ka phool...na lal battee..aur yeh sab sirf dharmnirpeksh takat ke liye."

Lalooji: "Aiye, aiye Ram Vilas jee...mere paas to ticket hai..phir bhee yeh birth nahin deta....

Ram Vilas: Eee Jo hai ki jo...mere paas to ticket bhee nahin hai...seat bhee milega ki nahin...

Lalooji: Arre chaliye naaa..Soniya madam hain naa.

Ram Vilasji: Soniaji kya dengeen...mera to ghar jal gaya.

Lalooji: Tatkal nahin mila tab bhee dilli jana hai.

Ram Vilas: Maurya Lok mein ek baithtaa hai ticket waala...

Lalooji: Arre wo nahin..wo to apne baap ko ticket nahin dila sakta hai..

Ram Vilas: Tab kya..?

Lalooji: Bihar mein rahenge to Nitishwaa jail bhijwaa dega...

Ram Vilas: Chaliye humlog general compartment mein baitha jaye.

Lalooji: Usmein to pair rakhne ka jagah nahin hai...

Ram Vilas: Tab kya AC se chalna hai...

Lalooji: Student days mein hum chalte the AC se..train ke chhatt par baitke...

Ram Vilas: Chaliye, chaliye humlong Punjab hee cahala jaye..mazdooree karne.

Tabhee peeche se: Main bhee poorva rail mantri hoon..Pradhan mantri ka ticket milega kya? Rahulji mujhe pasand karte hain..aur main Advaniji ko pasand karta hoon aur Advaniji...Narendra bhai ko pasand karte hain...main to Ulta-Pulta Alliance ka PM banna chahta hoon.