Saturday, November 5, 2011

Occupy !

By Manuwant Choudhary

My editor commissioned me to visit USA to get the inside story on the Occupy Movement and so here I am at the Wall Street....

Me squatting with an Occupier: Hello, I am a junior reporter from India and I would like to ask you a few questions if you don't mind.

Occupier 1: Shoot.

Me: Can you tell me the inspiration behind the Occupy is it China because they occupy Tibet or is it India and Pakistan because they Occupy Jammu & Kashmir?

Occupier: No, no....we are not Occupier's like that....We are different kind...

Me: But least you are leftist like the politicians in India and China.

Occupire: No, no...politicians in India and China love the Wall Street. the World Bank, the IMF...we hate em all.

Me: You mean China and India love Tibet and Kashmir so they occupy but you occupy only places you hate...

Occupier: are close but we are still different...

Me: Okay, okay who is your leader.

Occupier: Our Leader is a website!

Me: What how can a Leader be a website!

Occupier: yes, yes, thats why we all sit here with our ipads and iphones and Macs....

Me: And whats his name?


Me: You mean you do whatever they write on this website.

Occupier: yes.

me: But I here you sent some team to India to find out the places you hate most in India.

Occupier: yes, yes, we did and we found a lot. I was part of the team.

me: tell me like what...

Occupier: Like Indian trains are occupied to full capacity still they make a loss.

Me: And?

Occupier: Like the train toilets are forever occupied ...

Me: You mean they are in use...

Occupier: Used only sometimes, but mostly people without tickets travel in them.

Me: Did you actually see a toilet?

Occupier: I did and learnt a lot.

me: Like what..

Occupier: Like when the British occupied India they built the train system so that Indians could shit all over their country...they have holes in can even check the train speed.

Me: I have not come all the way to talk about train toilets. My source tells me that you guys want to occupy the Indian parliament.

Occupier: Yeah, we thought we would do that..but the Indian parliament is already occupied !

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