Saturday, November 10, 2012

Khulaasa News

By Manuwant Choudhary

I was there at Arvind Kejriwal's presser at the Press Club of India yesterday but there was a foul smell all I asked Mr. Kejriwal about it.

AK: Yes, yes, I agree this presser is not going smoothly..these journalists are asking too many questions.

Me: But journalists are supposed to ask questions.

AK: No, no..they can ask questions but they are asking as though they are owners of HSBC.

Me: But sir, the HSBC is a great bank...why do you want it to be shut down. Actually, its the SBI which should be shut down.

AK: Why shut down SBI? They should remain open since it takes months to open an account there. But HSBC should be shut down because they open accounts over telephone.

Me: But that means HSBC is so efficient.

AK: Efficient my foot. I hate HSBC.....they are efficiently corrupt.

Me: You mean they are like Ambani Brothers?

AK: yes, yes, and how dare they open accounts of Ambani brothers?

Me: But its obvious that Ambani's have the money...surely the poor can't open accounts at HSBC.

AK: Exactly, thats why they should be shut.

Me: But ok ok, I wanted to know why this place could have held this presser at Lodhi Gardens...

AK: Look I dont know where its coming from....but all I know is that journalists are asking too many quetions and they are also saying the `Khulaasa' has not been verified by them.

Me: But exactly, you name all the biggies and do you want even the jouranlists to be charged for defamation..but this place smells awful.

AK: I really don't know...

Me: But Ambani's say their rivals are leaking wrong do you think the smell is something to do with rivalries.

AK: What rivalry...the Congress is in their pocket.

Me: But that means Ambani's must have big pockets.

AK: Big and deep?

Me: No, but still I don't know where this smell is coming from...its hard to breathe.

AK: I am serving the country so I don't smell anything except corruption.

Me: But surely, you cant expect all HSBC employees to become like you...they sit in nice offices..and its doesn't smell there....and no one shouts there..they play instrumental music...

AK: Exactly, thats why SBI is better..there are crowds and crowds and smell and shouts...and fights....

Me: I really don't understand all do you think all income tax officers should also quit the government?

AK: I didn't say that...they are serving the country so they should not quit.

Me: But you mean only HSBC employees need to quit to serve the country.

AK: Don't waste my time...I have to do 500 khulasaa's in the next few days...

Me: But your Khulasaa's smell too much..what did you eat? Did you eat a Dabur product?

A.K.: Dabur, never...they are so corrupt ...these Burmans.....I never eat Dabur.

Me: But that means you prefer their rivals - Baidyanath..

A.K. Yes, I like their churan.

(how to make this special Kejriwal churan)


  1. Heat a non-stick pan, add the carom seeds, cumin seeds, fennel seeds, dill seeds and fenugreek seeds and dry roast on a medium flame for 3 to 4 mins.
  2. Remove from the flame, add the remaining ingredients and mix well.
  3. Blend in a mixer too a smooth powder.
  4. Store in an airtight jar.
  5. Take 1/2-1 tsp after meal or if necessary anytime.
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