Sex & Sensex

By Manuwant Choudhary

I sometimes wonder who is more dangerous Arnab Goswami or Asaram Bapu?

In Patna at Kargil Chowk I met some women supporters of Asaram Bapu on dharna and they believe that Arnab is actually  jealous of Asaram Bapu who has more devotee eyeballs at his Sanskar channel than Arnab has on his Times Now.

The rivalries are such that when Asaram was accused of a sexual rape charge....Arnab kept referring him as Godman for two hours non-stop and then suddenly at the end, "No, but why should we call him Godman? Yes, yes, just Asaram.....he is an ordinary Asaram...."

I  suspect there are other reasons why newschannels hate Godmen - one is because they have their own channels, two is because they are richer, and three they don't share...no..they don't even give 10 second Ads to Times Now.

Godanchors hate Godmen.

And lo and behold..I was watching CNN-IBN and suddenly instead of Godman Rajdeep Sardesai there was Godman Sri Sri Ravishankar.....and at the top a tiny Advt was displayed....but sorry Godman Arnab you lost this round...Rajdeep got the mullah !

These days every bania shop is discussing the sex life of Asaram Bapu...(they haven't removed his photo even and more flowers)

Like how does he heal women at night?

They always believed he was a GOD but they were not sure of his manhood.

So it was a pleasant surprise and many are happy to know that Asaram Bapu has passed the manlihood test.

A woman told me that can you believe Asaram can rape a 16 year old?

Does he look like a rapist?

And I replied in the negative. Definitely he does not look like a rapist. In fact, there were other Godmen on Prime Time TV...some of whom actually looked like rapsists.

But in such matters one can't go by looks alone...

The police have arrested Asaram's servant and he told the police that Asaram met women alone at night.

But the medical report says there was no rape...just molestation...

This is crazy....and I have been reasoning why the Congress Party is happy with Asaram's arrest while the BJP is not.....

And why should a holyman in Rahul Gandhi's Amethi cut off his own genitals although he did not rape anyone?

We really don't need the Taliban?

In all this sex stuff...the Sensex has been forgotten....

If only a handsome RBI Governor could sex up the Sensex.

But dollars don't come in that way....our Prime Minister has been busy in St. Petersburg asking his poor and rick freinds to help a friend in need.

Instead of going to the IMF he is helping create another dollar reserve to `source' up the Rupee.

Its like telling Japan...let me go on spending like mad...and if it all dries up..then can I borrow some from you?

Just to honour Madam Sonia's Food Bill, "Its not a question of not having the money. We have to find the money..."

Our Prime Minister should have told her "Money does not grow on trees..."

But he didn't.

So we have the Food Bill, the Land Theft Bill, the Save the Convicted MP Bill, the Dearness Bill, the Pension Bill....

And now..the Mental Bill 2013.....

Its madness....