Bijli Rani 3

At a recording studio in Patna I met the popular Bhojpuri singer Bijli Rani. She was not tall. She wore a red saree and was busy recording a song. When she finished I asked her if she could sing for us too. She asked on what? I replied on bad roads in Bihar. She said so far she had not sung any on bad roads. So the lyrics had to be written. Some 4 boys all in their twenties were sitting on the carpeted floor busy writing scripts. She instructed them And within 5 minutes the lyrics were ready. And no rehearsals or anything but Bijli Rani simply looked at it and called for the music and there it was... The song was recorded within 20 minutes from start to finish. And within days it would be bellowing it's double meaning across Bihars day and night buses.

Bijlee Rani 2

If I had to make a film on Bijlee Rani I'd cast actress Jacqueline Fernandes. After all she is so unafraid. Everytime the Enforcement Directorate call her for questioning she says she has to meet Salman Khan's horses. I mean how can she do that to Modijee... the ED is like Modijee. And even the photo she took with Modiji is not helping. After all 200 crores meant to go into BJP coffers has gone elsewhere... Amit Shah has told ED you better find out how this money has been laundrered. As for conman Sukesh Chandrasekhar he is definite Prime Minister material!

Bijlee Rani

Bijlee Rani is a popular Bhojpuri folk singer of Bihar. Long before vikaas came to Bihar through her lilting songs she would sing about Bihars development. I think they were five sisters all singers and dancers from a village near Arrah. I had visited them once and they performed for us for television. These singers/dancers are usually from lower castes and they have an upper caste manager/bodyguard/lover to take care of them as they travel from one event to another. Generally these men are also music lovers often writing the lyrics for the songs. Bhojpuri singers are not dependent on the government for anything. Fiercely independent their songs reflect their fearlessness.... to be continued....

The Corrupt Voter!

Corrupt politicians we all know but what about corrupt voters? In Bihar an average mukhiya candidate spends 20 lakh rupees and more.... So I tried to find out on what they spend.... A labourer told me he got Rs one thousand, five hundred each to him and his wife after he told the candidate why should he vote for free when he charges a bribe for every work he does? The candidate agreed and readily paid up. Into his second term now the labourer is yet to get a govt fund to build his house. The reason being he is too poor to pay the bribe money. Then candidates bribe the police. Then goondas! And of course their workers to do their campaign. In between there is a feast for the entire village. One candidate went from house to house to get people the Corona vaccine but he lost by 400 votes And then in dry bihar they gave expensive booze to the voters even in police presence. Unfortunately those voters were so drunk the next morning they did not know which button to press on the voting machine!

Why Modi Has Still Not Sacked His Minister?

The only reason why Modi has not sacked his minister of state for Home Ajay Mishra is that if he sets such high moral standards in politics then he will have to sack Amit Shah too and even himself. The report on why Modi chooses crime accused MPs as his ministers are self explanatory. The Delhi riots when Donald Trump visited was not just a government failure but an active assault on the minorities in Delhi. There is in fact a connivance between the police and rioteering mobs. But surely this is the only reason why many voted for Modi. The kind of violence India has seen during the last seven years is sickening. It has taken a toll on the mental health of a nation. India is going downhill like never before....

General Tyre

No further evidence is required about India's minister of state for home being complicit in the murder of farmers peacefully returning from a protest. That the minister Ajay Mishra publicly threatened the farmers is available on video. Whether his son Ashish Mishra drove the vehicle himself is inconsequential. Most present saw him. The way the Thar drove into the farmers is clear it is no accident. Now on whose orders did they murder the farmers and one local journalist? Surely, not on their own. The minister should at least be sacked so the police can arrest him and get to the bottom of it all. But I cannot understand why the Supreme Court is alarmed. Our criminal justice system withered away a long time ago. Just appoint former Chief Justice Gogoi to inquire and they will see which way it goes. On a day when Air India has been sold, actually what is most needed is to privatise the criminal investigative system. And lastly, if Priyanka Gandhi does anymore jharoo then that kejriwal fellow will win UP.

👩 Womania Cops!

Bihar has the highest crime rate in the country but increasing the police personnel has not reduced crime. The other day I happened to visit the thana and the police inspector looked pretty worried Just that morning a dead body had been found floating in the river. What complicated the matter was the dead person was a dalit - a Paswan. So the village mukhiya was called and he brought the wife of the deceased to tell the police that its a case of suicide. There was a police woman too in the thana. She looked pretty stern but her hair was long and sexy, freshly shampooed. Then another woman cop entered the office. She had returned from patrol duty. The two officers spoke to each about their hair. The one who returned from patrol duty said she has lost most of her hair in the sun and now she does yoga kapalbhaati to save what remains. The cop with the long hair told her how life is so tough... everytime she enters the thana premises birds shit on her hair. Bird Droppings! The first cop quipped, Do you know if a bird drop falls on your head your wishes are fulfilled. They both smiled. Just then a local journalist turned up and said the Paswan had been murdered. The inspector got real worried about how things were turning. To make matters worse the RAF had fished the body out of the river but instead of sending it for a post mortem had dumped it outside the thana Soon a crowd gathered and the women cops looked shit scared....perhaps they had never seen a dead body.....

Coconut Compassion

This year I decided not to sell my coconut harvest but to enjoy them. But the problem was how do I slice the top for naariyal paani. I did not have the implements nor expertise. So I approached a nariyal paani seller to do the needful. I bought two coconuts from him as well and he sliced mine for free. Coconut water was full till the very top almost two glasses and he said my coconuts were of a good quality. He even told me how I should harvest them so that they do not fall to the ground. Not just that the next day he used special knives to take out the malai for free. He was freindly. But when I went again I found his stall missing. On seeing me he asked a neighbouring seller to slice the fruits. So I asked him why he had closed down his stall. And he replied, "My neighbour was not able to earn enough for himself since business is not good these days so he asked me if I could close down mine for just 15 days. I agreed. I have other fruits to sell as well. "

Tractor Tantrums For Republic Day

My ancient tractor is behaving like a kiddo...he is pestering me to take him to New Delhi for the Republic Day Parade. Tractor: This is so historic for the first time since independence we have been invited for the Parade. Me: No,no Delhi is too far. You expect me to drive you all the way. Tractor : Then I will go on my own. Me: You are not a driverless tractor. Besides you are not armoured. Delhi police will attack you with dandas Tractor : I am stronger than a tank. Me:You dont have the Papers. Registration, fastag, aadhhaar card, you wont cross the first toll even. Tractor: Ah watch youtube UP cops are shit scared of tractors. We dont have power brakes. Me: But Delhi is going to be tense this time Its not like some beating retreat at Rashtrapati Bhawan where horses do the amazing parade. Tractor : I cannot unterstand you. Me: Besides,how will you go. Petrol pumps are not giving diesel to Tractors. Tractor: If that Bihar girl can cycle her father to bihar from Delhi then so can i. Where there is a will there is a way Me:Its too risky. What if protestors at Singhu border find out that Shri Bobde is my friend and Shri Anil Ghanwat too and Shri Mann?

Tenzin Choezom - A Tibetan Gold Medalist!

A Safari in Bihar?

Like Narendra Modi builds everything in Gujarat, Nitish Kumar builds everything in Nalanda, his home district. Now some 20 sq kms land near Rajgir in the midst of hillocks have been walled for a safari. Electric fencing is being fixed atop the walls to prevent intrusion. A skywalk is already ready but not open to the public yet. My source tells me work is in full swing. A foresters residence with a fancy apartment for the mukhya mantri is already ready. Its well known that whenever Nitish goes to Rajgir the alliance shifts. And if he is feeling sick then politics gets murkier. But what about the animals? They are being sourced from all over. What about trees? They are being planted. But the animals would die in the bihar heat. I asked my source if this would be like a zoo. He replied, "Nahin janwar to khule mein ghumenge pinjre mein hum honge! " I quipped, "Toh safari ki kya zaroorat thee.. poora bihar hee safari hai. "

Buta Singh - Bihar's Best Ruler.

Buta Singh who passed away recently was Bihars best ruler. I am not a votary of Presidents rule but for a brief period in 2005 i think Buta Singh was Governor of Bihar. And Presidents rule was imposed so Buta was all powerful. Bihars capital Patna had not even seen traffic lights since independence but suddenly all that changed. The streets were washed clean, the dust vanished and there were sparkling cats eye on the roads. It felt like Europe. And Patnas Sikhs could be seen in their expensive cars going around as if in Toronto. But at a wedding in Bombay a journalist friend quizzed my general knowledge. Do you know the names of Butas sons? Do you know Lovely and Sweety? I replied No. Do you know how much percentage they earn from cats eyes alone? I was amused. When I returned to Bihar my mongrel gave birth to two pups I named them Lovely and Sweety. One day a college senior visted and adopted both of them Lovely and Sweety found a home. The college senior was kanwaljit singh arora - a Sardar. Providence.