What Human Rights?

If Dr. Manmohan Singh has no problems meeting Prachanda or Pushpa Kamal Dahal of Nepal's Unified Commuinist Party of Nepal (Maoist) whose guerilla war in the Himalyan democracy led to the killings of 17000 people then its sheer hipocricy when he stays away from the Commonwealth Heads Of State Meeting to be held at Sri Lanka on the pretext of human rights violations by the Rajapaksha government. And this won't even get him Tamil votes.

The Car Pandit & The Hanuman Insurance !

By Manuwant Choudhary

Dhanteras is a day car manufacturers are happiest as even in smaller cities selling 2000 cars is easy.

People believe buying something on Dhanteras multiplies the wealth 13 times so the bazaars are full.

This is true to an extent as the shopkeepers wealth does increase as black money flows into the market.

The stock markets hits record highs !

Car dealers especially work overtime and are their smiling best…but after the formalities are over – insurance, warranties and extra warranties done..making it to the Hanuman temple is the biggest challenge.

The temple precincts are overcrowded with brand new cars…glistening in the sun…the paint still smelling fresh…(the cars Ranbir Kapoor steals in film Besharam)

At Patna’s Hanuman Mandir they charge 250 rupees and only then a car pandit will emerge and after making a swastika he will take the drivers seat and apply tikas on the dashboard and put marigold maalas onto the rear view mirror before asking for his fees…but he is busier than the Bihar chief minister…you can't waste his time…as car owners haggle him with `Panditji mera kar dijiye…(Can you do mine fast?)

Hanuman temples are generally encroachments of public land and some say Hanuman is perhaps the biggest land encroacher in the country.

The Patna Hanuman Mandir is located near the Patna Railway station and the original temple you will find literally buried on the rear side, while a massive structure has come up above it and onto the road ahead.

I wonder why Hanuman is such a law violator.

I am not sure if Hanuman ever imagined he would become India’s biggest car insurer.

So I dug up a few facts about the `Monkey God’.

According to one story Hanuman was not half monkey at all..its just that his clan had a `Monkey’ emblem !

And his face looks monkey-like since he stopped Rahu who was trying to eat the sun for the solar eclipse and Rahu complained to Indra, and Indra struck a thunderbolt at Hanuman which struck his jaws and disfigured it forever.

Hanuman’s father Vayu (The Wind God) was so angry that he withdrew all air and everyone started dying..so the Gods in order to appease Vayu blessed Hanuman with amazing powers. The Wikipedia lists all the powers Hanuman received.

Brahma gave Hanuman a boon that would protect him from the irrevocable Brahma's curse. Brahma also said: "Nobody will be able to kill you with any weapon in war." From Brahma he obtained the power of inducing fear in enemies, of destroying fear in friends, to be able to change his form at will and to be able to easily travel wherever he wished.

From Shiva he obtained the boons of longevity, scriptural wisdom and ability to cross the ocean. Shiva assured safety of Hanuman with a band that would protect him for life. Indra blessed him that the Vajra weapon will no longer be effective on him and his body would become stronger than Vajra.

Varuna blessed baby Hanuman with a boon that he would always be protected from water.

 Agni blessed him with immunity to burning by fire.

 Surya gave him two siddhis of yoga namely "laghima" and "garima", to be able to attain the smallest or to attain the biggest form. Yama, the God of Death blessed him healthy life and free from his weapon danda, thus death would not come to him. Kubera showered his blessings declaring that Hanuman would always remain happy and contented. Vishwakarma blessed him that Hanuman would be protected from all his creations in the form of objects or weapons. Vayu also blessed him with more speed than he himself had. Kamadeva also blessed him that the sex will not be effective on him.So his name is also Bal Brahmachari.

But Hanuman continued being mischievous so the Gods gave him a mild curse that he would only remember his powers until he was reminded of it by someone else.

That is why when Sita is to be rescued from the clutches of Ravan, it is Jambavantha who reminds Hanuman of his powers and Hanuman agrees to help Ram.

And to overcome fear people recite the Hanuman chalisa.

Narendra Modi’s BJP has an ultra wing called the Bajrang Dal but they are violent and ugly and give a bad name to Hanuman who is also called Bajrang Bali ...

Just like Nitish Kumar calling Narendra Modi – Hitler !

But at Patna’s Bailey Road there is also a Hitler Hanuman !!

Onions For Vogue !

Charlatans Of Gandhi Maidan

By Manuwant Choudhary

A walk on Gandhi Maidan is not as great as London’s Hyde Park but in a place like Patna for many it’s the only place for recreation.

Besides, its historic..from Mahatma Gandhi to Jaiprakash Narayan to the great stalwarts in the freedom struggle have spoken to India from this very place.

For our post-independent politicians holding a rally here is a high point in their careers !

And some who did so are in prison now !

From the gareeb (Poor)  rally, to the lathi (Stick)  rally..to Vikas (Development) to Parivartan…its all in a name.

Like this time the BJPs PM candidate Narendra Modi is to hold a rally here…its called Hunkar…which basically is a sanskritised word for a `war cry’.

So I took a walk around Gandhi Maidan to reflect on the two Gujaratis.

I wondered what Mahatma Gandhi would have thought of Narendra Modi?

A man under whose rule thousands were killed in Gujarat and who sees winning elections as confirmation of his innocence or people’s forgiveness or even affirmation of his `Iron’ rule.

Or that people don’t mind being killed as long as there is high growth!

In fact Narendra Modi proudly claims to belong to the RSS, the RSS openly supports this man and it is an RSS man Nathuram Godse who killed Gandhi.

Of course, Narendrabhai will come here and talk about Gandhiji and the links Bihar has had with Gujarat.

And he will promise the moon.

Modi the Supermodi!

But Gandhi Maidan even on an ordinary day is full of charlatans.

Like I saw this man holding mushrooms and claiming to cure all the worlds diseases from cancer to you name it.

He knows the names of all the top doctors and narrates how they all failed and told him to go to Bombay.

But can a poor man afford a ticket to Bombay?

So he found a way to cure himself.

His captive audience were two persons who listened to him in rapt attention.

So far the only thing Narendra Modi has said is “Pehle Shauchalaya, Phir Devalaya.” (First Toilets, Then Temples.)

And at Gandhi maidan he has kept this promise at least 250 toilets being constructed for 5 lakh people !

But I write this not just because Narendra Modi is shit.

I don’t like the way India is being ruled since independence.

Democracy itself is losing its meaning.

There is far too much symbolism and the slogans just jam the airwaves.

Modi does not talk about Liberty or Property or about None Of The Above (NOTA), Modi is also not just about toilets, he is about the temple, he is about making voting mandatory, he wants criminals to be allowed to contest elections (on the criminal ordinance he was on the side of the Prime Minister), he is for compulsory singing of the national anthem at cinema houses….he wears patriotism on his half-sleeve.

A majoritarian democracy is no democracy.

A Hindu India is no different from a Muslim Pakistan.

India should just be India..where the minorities and majorities live together in peace.

But I guess every politician has their own idea of India and Gandhi.

Like even the Gandhi statues here tell a story…the one by Laloo is bare-bodied with ribs showing, a Gandhi stooping with a stick….in  a loin cloth.

The Gandhi statue built under Nitish Kumar’s `Sushashan’ (Good governance) is a `prosperous’ Gandhi…a richer Gandhi…covered in a  fine shawl, looking healthy and with two smiling girls holding books on either side!

                                                                           Photos: Manuwant Choudhary

Just then I see this girl sitting at the bottom…she did not look like the girls in the Gandhi statue…or the girls who get their MID day meals at school..,or the girls who could even get Nitish Kumar’s bicycle.

She just had this look on her face as if she doesn’t think about her future because she is just too scared of the present.

And she definitely won’t be on the giant LEDs at Hunkar Rally….

How The Economic Machine Works By Ray Dalio

Bullock-cart Broadcast Journalist and Mahatma Gandhi - a rare talkie !

GOLD DIGGERS ON A SUNDAY

By Manuwant Choudhary

A seer Shobhan Sarkar dreams of buried treasure and Bharat Sarkar goes digging at Duandia Kheda village in Unnao district UP, digging even on a Sunday!

I dedicate this piece to all of India’s Gold Diggers !

It is the Indian womans love for the yellow metal that takes away a substantial portion of our exchange reserves.

Finance Minister P Chidambaram’s appeal to the Indian women not to buy gold is like asking cyclone Phailin to return to Thailand !

So this seer promises that if a thousand tonnes of gold is found then India will not have to import gold for a year !

And India will  become rich. QED. (Quite Easily Done)

But the Wikipedia has another version of a Gold Digger..its says a Gold digger is slang for a greedy person (stereotypically a woman) who only dates (and subsequently marries) wealthy partners with the (typically) sole intention of exploiting said wealth. The term is usually pejorative.

But this is so limited….anyone actually can be  a gold digger.

Then there is something grosser than the above wikipedia description…the internet is full of them….which is to pick one’s nose…yes even celebrities are caught on camera..even the Queen !

But still that’s human.

It was quite hilarious when Nerendra Modi the BJP PM aspirant made his debut speech in Kanpur..one Samajwadi Party politician said that Modi is such an irritant, nobody is even watching him, everyone is interested in the treasure hunt in UP…

But Modi looked so sweatily happy in the humid afternoon in Kanpur….”Jahan tak main dekh sakta hoon wahan tak mund hee mund hain…” (As far as I can see there are only skulls).

Of course, Modi does not like skull caps.

But why just the ASI, even Modi was in UP as a Gold Digger….

He wants to exploit the sentiments in a way voters would vote for him.

So he talks like Laloo Yadav.

For a politician in India to be a poor man’s son is like striking gold.

Laloo ruled on that sentiment long enough and now Modi attempts the same….

Thankfully, some of our gold diggers are in prison.

And Rahuls attempts at phot-ops in dalit homes is just the same.

Have you noticed both the PM aspirants speak with their arms.

What India needs is someone who speaks their mind.

Returning to the wikipedia, I think now even men can be Gold Diggers.

Wait, actually I don’t mind being one.

If only I can date and marry Sonam Kapoor. (She plans to buy an apartment in Bombay but wants to continue living with her parents)

Does anyone know Sonam Kapoor?

And finally, this famous song from film Upkar ...Mere desh kee Dhartee...Sona Ugle..ugle heera moti...

Coalgate Joke

By Manuwant Choudhary

Things are finally hotting up in the Coalgate Scam after the CBI file FIRs against the Coal Secretary and India's top industrialist KM Birla, but opposition leaders are gunning for the Prime Minister after the CBI files a case against `Competent Authority'.

Opposition leader: Now the CBI should question the PM after all he has been named in the FIR.

Congress leader: Named ? Where??

Opposition leader: Surely, you don't read newspapers...the CBI has filed cases against `Competent Authority'...

Congress leader: The PM signs thousands of files he does not even know what he is signing on...

Opposition leader: But surely only the PM is the `Competent Authority'....

Congress leader: No, how can you say that?

Opposition leader: Well, because only the Prime Minister is the `Competent Authority'.

Congress leader: Only two days ago you were calling him `Incompetent'..

"Malala Just Took A Bullet To The Head For Peace", CNN's Christiane Amanpour tells the Nobel chairman

Goats & Gandhi

By Manuwant Choudhary

India's father of the nation Mahatma Gandhi loved his goat so much so he would leave even important meetings to tend to his goat !

He drank only goats milk.

On Bakrid as I read todays newspapers, goats are selling for Rs.10,000 to  Rs.100,000/- in Patna, in the metros this could be higher.

And their names are after famous Bollywood stars like Salman and Shahrukh and Katrina!

But its such a shame that a goat is today worth more than human life in India.

When someone gets killed in a road accident governments through the District Magistrate still give only Rs.10,000/- by way of compensation !

And the kin are so happy with that....

There is something so terribly wrong with the way India is being run and managed.

Our highways are not fenced...and accidents routine.

In Bihar I met this woman who had five children and I asked her why she had so many babies and she replied, "Three are taken away by the Gods (through diseases), one is for the road (accident) and ultimately only 1 will survive to look after me in my old age!"

Of course I don't blame the Mahatma for post-independent India but its just that when we celebrate him we often forget everything he really stood for.

The Mid Day carried an interesting report of a restaurant in South London called Ganapati where they serve a pure vegetarian `Gandhi Thaali' and guests eat sitting on the floor.

And the thali includes a glass of Goat milk !

Next visit to London I have to visit Ganapati restaurant...

I am still trying to find out the name of Gandhi's goat? (The goat even attended the Round Table Conference and met celebrities like Charlie Chaplin)

DEMOCRACY IS COMING BY LEONARD COHEN

Narendra Modi's Shauchalaya Rally!

By Manuwant Choudhary

Such is the stench in Patna these days that India’s President has already cancelled his Patna visit.

And L.K. Advani is staying away.

The reason being Narendra Modi is coming here to address a Hunkar rally at Patna’s Gandhi maidan to enthuse his supporters with his new slogan “Pehle Shauchalaya, Phir Devalaya !” (First Toilets, Then Temples)

Already sanitaryware shops at Exhibition road have seen an increase in their sales.

BJP workers have been shopping for commodes in their thousands….

Most have been looking for saffron coloured commodes informs one shopkeeper, but we have mostly white.

One wanted a commode with Narendra Modi’s face on it but we told him those are designer commodes and we have only one piece – a  Robert Mugabe commode.

Some have been looking for Japanese commodes which give out patriotic jingles every time you flush.

One customer has bought a special commode to gift it to Modiji…its called “The Hot Seat’…after all Modiji wants to be India’s Prime Minister…

An inner-circle BJP member wanted a bomb-proof commode with bullet proof glasses around it, afterall Modiji is on a hit list….

But sanitary shops are aware that for BJP members from rural Bihar they would need toilets just as it is at home…so they have like one designed like a railway track fitted with nat sound and vibrations of an approaching Rajdhani train !

Another shop has one called “The Maidan’…just wheat crops !

 With computers so popular i-pots are also in demand.

I asked a BJP worker about Modi’s toilet interest and he informed, “Modiji was the sevak responsible for digging up Bombay’s Mahalaxmi Racecourse for the Maharally by building the thousand of holed toilets.!”

OBITUARY - SITA SHARAN JHA - HONESTY AMIDST CORRUPTION

By Manuwant Choudhary

Many people would drop in at the NDTV Patna office while I worked there…from chief ministers to former chief ministers, from turncoat politicians to would be party spokespersons, from activists to Maoists…but one evening an elderly gentleman came into our office to see me.

My colleague Manish Kumar introduced him to me as Sita Sharan Jha, the father-in-law of his elder brother Sanjay Jha.

Sanjay Jha worked with India Today then and for us television journalists who worked at a breathless speed doing Lives round the clock it really helped to crosscheck our facts with Sanjayji before going On AIR.

I was called the `Angrezi’ (English Journalist)  waale patrakaar but we often did Lives in Hindi too so Sanjayji was always helpful when I wanted to get the right word to bash the Bihar politicians and criminals.

So recently when Sanjayji called me and informed me that his father-in-law has passed away it brought back memories.

In fact, Sita Sharan Jha dropped by at the NDTV office to see me on several occasions.

I did not know much about him but there was so much warmth when he talked to me and  a sense of genuine happiness.

He knew my family well and told me how the Bihar Income Tax Commssioner called him once since my grandfather Shri Ramashray Prasad Choudhary refused to pay Income Tax to the Government of India in principle.

He wasn’t a tax evader but felt the Government of India was corrupt and so did not deserve to be paid a paisa from his hard-earned honest rupee.

So Sita Sharan Jha accompanied the Income Tax Commissioner to my hometown to see my grandfather.

He said, “I told Babusaheb that if he does not pay taxes then how can they run the Government?”

My grandfather asked the Income Tax Commissioner, “I will pay taxes if you tell me one thing the government of India has done for my town.”

The Income Tax Commissioner was at a loss for words because he was speaking to a man who built a co-educational High School in 1928, a co-ed degree college in 1963, a cinema house in 1947 (12 years before the town received any electricity), besides he built literally half the town.

All that governments did since independence was to nationalize the school and the college.

So my grandfather told Sita Sharan Jha, “I will pay the Income Tax because you are saying so but not because the Government of India wants me to.”

Sita Sharan Jha was born in Sitamarhi in 1936 and he was 78 when he passed away recently at Ranchi..he was suffering from throat cancer for a few months and he had told his near ones that he would not live long.

He had visited the four dhams Gangotri, Yamnotri , kedarnath and Badrinath recently.

He is survived by three sons and three daughters.

His eldest son Sushil Kumar Jha is an employee at the Bihar Legislative Council, while Aashish is the Chief Reporter at Dainik Jagran (Ranchi) and his youngest Basant Kumar Jha is Resident Editor of Dainik Bhaskar (Ranchi).

Basant Kumar Jha told me how his father had initially worked for the Birlas and Tata and in fact quit a Tata job where he was paid Rs.260 per month for a Reporters job at Searchlight where he was paid only Rs.135 a month.

So I asked him what his motivations were to become a journalist and Basant said he was shaken by the Indo-China war and how India was going through a real crisis in the sixties so he felt by being a journalist he could do more for his country.

After a year-and-a-half at Searchlight he joined The Indian Nation (owned by the Maharajah for Darbhanga) and it was a national newspaper coming out from Patna.

Sita Sharan Jha worked at the Indian Nation for 12 years and from Reporter he went on to become assistant editor..and later even associate editor.

When the newspaper closed down he worked hard behind the scenes and the newspaper attempted one last re-launch. But sadly the paper closed down finally.

It had a beautiful palatial building on Frazer Road, now converted into a shabby market.

Few know how closely Sita Sharan Jha worked with top Bihar politicians like Lalit Narayan Mishra and Jagannath Mishra.

Jagannath Mishra was a stringer at the Indian Nation when Sita Sharan Jha was a Reporter but when Dr. Jagannath Mishra became Chief Minister he would often ask Sitaji to write his public speeches.

Sita Sharan Jha would also help IAS officers prepare the State Budget sitting in the Chief Minister’s chamber.

Sanjayji recounted how once L.N. Mishra the then railway minister told railway officials that they must do anything the man siiting on the right side of him tells him to do….and when the meeting began Sita Sharan Jha was given the right seat.

Later L.N. Mishra asked him if he got any work done and Sita Sharan Jha replied how he got one railway engineer posted in some place.

L.N. Mishra (he was considered to be more powerful than Indira Gandhi) would make fun of him that Sita Sharan Jha was so honest that even if we gave him a bag on money he would drop it from his scooter on his way home.

He was so close to power yet so far from its trappings.

He never purchased  any land in Patna in all these years as a journalist.

Even when he was not a Congress member he would sit through a Congress Working Committee meeting and would not be asked to leave but he never did anything wrong for the powers that be…

Not even the letter that Jagannath Mishra wrote to Laloo….(that was written by another Jha politician !)

Its no surprise that while Sita Sharan Jha passed away peacefully in Ranchi, his friend and colleague Bihar’s former chief minister Dr. Jagannath Mishra suffers in prison in Ranchi convicted in the fodder scam.

Dilip Kumar Deserves A Bharat Ratna

By Manuwant Choudhary

Dilip Kumar - the Mughal-e-azam of Indian cinema - deserves a Bharat Ratna.

Not Amitabh Bachchan or Shahrukh Khan but its Dilip Kumar who is undisputedly the greatest Indian film actor.

The following extract about his early life from Wikipedia is interesting...

"Kumar was born into a Hindko-speaking Peshwari Pashtun family of 12 children on 11 December 1922 in the Qissa Khawani Bazaar area of Peshawar, in what is now Khyber Pakhtunkhwa, Pakistan.

His birthname is Mohammad Yousuf Khan and his screen name was given by Hindi author Bhagwati Charan Varma.

His father Lala Ghulam Sarwar was a fruit merchant who owned orchards in Peshawar and Deolali, Nashik, Maharashtra. This is where Dilip Kumar studied at Barnes school but he started out on his own career as a fruit seller and canteen owner in Pune where he was spotted by actress Devika Rani and her husband Himanshu Rai, owners of Bombay Talkies."

From being a dry fruit seller to a canteen owner to a film star, its a journey very few have undertaken and among his dozens of films its is role as Akbar in Mughal-e-Azam that is most appreciated.

Dilip Kumar is in Lilawati hospital after he complained of chest pain so we wish him well.

But I have often wondered why Dilip Kumar did not follow another famous Bombayite Mohammad Ali Jinnah to Pakistan when India was partitioned.

So far Dilip Kumar has received the third highest Indian civilian award the Padma Bhushan and the Dadsaheb Phalke Award which is the highest film award. But it is Pakistan which has given him the Nishan-e-Imtiaz, the highest civilian award in Pakistan.

At the height of the Kargil war Bal Thackeray publicly asked him to return the Nishan-e-Imtiaz to Pakistan. Dilip Kumar did not buckle under Thackerays pressure instead replied that the honour is for his role in bringing the people of the two countries together and that he was not responsible for the Kargil war.

India's Prime Minister Atal Behari Vajpayee agreed with Dilip Kumar.

But I still wonder why India's government do not give him the Bharat Ratna.

Dilip Kumar is not just a great actor and human being but an active Indian citizen whose faith in India's secularism is firm and deep-rooted.

I recall when the Shiv Sena government was in power in Maharashtra and there were very few to speak up against communalism...it was Dilip Kumar who campaigned in favour of secularism.

As a junior reporter with the Afternoon Despatch & Courier I once called him up for an appointment for an interview and Dilip Kumar was on line...

Dilip Kumar: "You see I have a plane to catch. I am going abroad...but what is it you want to talk about?"

I replied, "Sir, I'd like to interview you on Secularism and why it is so crucial for India."

Dilip Kumar, "If you don't mind could we talk on the telephone itself..."

Me: "But Sir, you have a plane to catch....."

Dilip Kumar, "No, no, I will manage...this is more important..."

And Dilip Kumar spoke to me four two hours....it was I who would remind him about his flight...but he would egg me on to not to worry...

It was a very relaxed interview and sitting in my office I felt at home..so comfortable that it felt like his wife Saira Banu even brought some Darjeeling tea with Shrewsberry buiscuits for me...

But it was an intense interview about secularism and how communalism posed a serious threat to India.

In fact, it was I who ran out of questions...and thanked Dilip Kumar for his time.

The interview was published with large file photos of Dilip Kumar but for a few days everyone looked at me like I had achieved a big deal having met Dilip Kumar!

After the elections a few Samajwadi Party candidates made inroads into Bombay and one of them even came to our office with laddoos (thankfully I was out working).

The next encounter I had with Dilip Kumar when I was a TV journalist with NDTV in Patna.

Dilip Kumar was coming to campaign for secularism at Patna's Gandhi Maidan.

Election time is hectic and all our cameramen were out of town so we hired a freelancer just to manage a few rushes of Dilip Kumar.

Gandhi Maidan was packed...lakhs of people....more than what Sonia Gandhi would get...and the flight from Bombay got delayed.

By the time he reached Gandhi Maidan it was 5 pm - the time when electioneering ends.

We hoped Dilip Kumar would break the election law.

The dias was as crowded as the maidan and my cameraman was hanging for his life from a side pole...literally just his toes were on the 60 feet high dias.

The crowd went wild seeing Dilip Kumar.

He did not speak..he just waved to the crowd...and he was driven back to the airport.

At the airport he gave an interview where he asked people to vote for secularism and he blurted out..."Vote For RJD..ohh...sorry...errr."

The Congressmen who had brought him to Patna looked so shocked !!!

Only Dilip Kumar can get away with such blunders !!! (or was it deliberate?)

Accompanying him was the perennial drunkard comedian actor Johnny Walker and I could not help asking him  if  he liked Patna?

He replied in his inimitable style, "Maine kya dekha? Airport dekha, Gandhi Maidan dekha aur tumko dekha..."

One good did come from Dilip Sahebs Patna vsist..we recommended the freelance cameraman for a permanent job in a TV  channel.

It was a day to remember.

Dilip Kumar is still popular and yes more popular than Narendra Modi.

If he was not so popular why would top Indian news channels carry on and on about his romance with Madhubala...The special shows help the ratings for the TV channels...even while Dilip Kumar quietly blogs at his personal blog Dilipkumar.mouthshut.com

Ooo la la la lah..I hear you calling India....

Face-Off - An Ugly Face Of An Ugly Party

By Manuwant Choudhary

I have never liked the BJP and hold it primarily responsible for much of the communal violence that India has seen in the past two decades.

So to see  a person like Narendra Modi being promoted as a Prime Minister candidate doesn't surprise me one bit.

But I am really surprised when Mr. Modi says that because India is going through a critical phase we should vote him and the BJP to power.

In fact, we should not.

And just to make it clear I am not in the Advani camp either.

The difference between Modi and Advani is little...Its just that Modi has bulldozed the National Democratic Alliance, something Vajpayee and Advani had built brick by brick to make the BJP touchable and enable it to come to power.

I am not sure if Advani even wanted to be a PM candidate this time. He is just a cleverer politician and sees the larger picture where without other secular and regional parties government formation is impossible.

The BJP hopes to galvanise Hindu votes behind Modi but he is yet to be tested outside Gujarat.

One newspaper the Hindustan Times said `Modi makes history and Advani is history'.

Well, not yet.

You will see the BJP leaders going to Advani's house after the elections.

Its one thing for corporate houses to want Modi, its quite another for the people of India.

Despite everything money will not win.

But it should worry us that six main Indian political parties got Rs.4,900 crores in donations in the past 8 years and 75 per cent is `untraced' funds which means the donors are not known.

In fact the country desperately wants the Congress Party to go but Modi's elevation helps the Congress.

The debate will shift from the Congress's corruption to Modi's criminality.

For our courts its easier to hang four rapists because the incident `touched the collective conscience of a nation' but more difficult to charge a chief minister under whose regime 1000 people were brutally killed.

How can we trust India to a man who could not control the communal riots in his own state Gujarat?

It went on and on and for days and weeks....India has not seen such violence since partition..

Another newspaper talking about Modi's strength said he has a secret mind.

Exactly, its Modi's secret mind that we should fear.

India knows nothing about this man.

Why is Modi's family so quiet and so distant?

What is his economic policy?

Is he not the chief minister who gave land to the Tatas to build the Nano after farmers threw the Tatas out from Bengal?

Modi is tellingly quiet even when the Congress passes the new land aquisition bill.

I have not met Modi.

On television all I hear is his nasal `Mere Doston'..all I see is his large stony eyes - deadly and cold.

And when he wants his supporters to cheer he waves his hairy forearm from one end to the other...

Just like Rajnath Singh making the clockwise cricket ball gesture at least ten times in 8 seconds to annouce Modi's name as PM.

He is secular in only as as much as his beard and refuses to wear the skull cap.

BJP is now MJP (Modi Janata Party)

What interested me were not the large floral garlands offered to that Modi but one ultra thin garland smilingly given by Nitin Gadkari (former BJP president) of the Poortee Group.

I wonder if they were pearls or Diamonds?

Friday the 13th is a bad Omen...and even according to the Hindu calender this period is not auspicious...Hindus don't even buy a new Santro now......

Wonder how much of a Hindu Modi is?

Whenever there is a churning scums get to the top.

A Prayer For Tibet

A Prayer For Tibet - a short film by Manuwant Choudhary

Bharat Nirman Or Vadra Nirman Pvt. Ltd

By Manuwant Choudhary

`Bharat Nirman' is like the BJPs `India Shining'...so it seems the time for the Congress regime to go has come.

This cartoon by Manjul from DNA, Bombay, best exemplifies the feelings of the aam aadmee.

And its not that people want Narendra Modi.

But this government must go.

Some 500 crores have been spent on an ad campaign Bharat Nirman to highlight the achievements of the UPA government - radio, TV and print...they are all over.

One ad has a government agent negotiating the `acuisition' of land from farmers....and the farmers look so greedy in the ad...and so happy when they are told they will get four times the market value !

First they took our land for free, then through bhoodan, then through land ceiling, then in the name of development, then for industry, then at market rates and now more than market rates.

But you don't have a choice of keeping your farm.

You have to give...if you don't then 80 per cent of the people in your village will vote that you give ! (according to new laws)

At least 11 agencies were called to the Congress HQ by Rahul Gandhi and ads from Percept were selected.

And now I & B Minister Manish Tewari is gung ho and has asked his AIR correspendents to span the countryside and give a feedback on the deep penetration of their mega campaign.

But when the AIR correspondent asked an old lady in flooded north Bihar whether she had heard about Bharat Nirman, she replied, "Kata hoye chaiyee....eee bharat nirman..." (Where is this Bharat Nirman taking place?)

Sex & Sensex

By Manuwant Choudhary

I sometimes wonder who is more dangerous Arnab Goswami or Asaram Bapu?

In Patna at Kargil Chowk I met some women supporters of Asaram Bapu on dharna and they believe that Arnab is actually  jealous of Asaram Bapu who has more devotee eyeballs at his Sanskar channel than Arnab has on his Times Now.

The rivalries are such that when Asaram was accused of a sexual rape charge....Arnab kept referring him as Godman for two hours non-stop and then suddenly at the end, "No, but why should we call him Godman? Yes, yes, just Asaram.....he is an ordinary Asaram...."

I  suspect there are other reasons why newschannels hate Godmen - one is because they have their own channels, two is because they are richer, and three they don't share...no..they don't even give 10 second Ads to Times Now.

Godanchors hate Godmen.

And lo and behold..I was watching CNN-IBN and suddenly instead of Godman Rajdeep Sardesai there was Godman Sri Sri Ravishankar.....and at the top a tiny Advt was displayed....but sorry Godman Arnab you lost this round...Rajdeep got the mullah !

These days every bania shop is discussing the sex life of Asaram Bapu...(they haven't removed his photo even and more flowers)

Like how does he heal women at night?

They always believed he was a GOD but they were not sure of his manhood.

So it was a pleasant surprise and many are happy to know that Asaram Bapu has passed the manlihood test.

A woman told me that can you believe Asaram can rape a 16 year old?

Does he look like a rapist?

And I replied in the negative. Definitely he does not look like a rapist. In fact, there were other Godmen on Prime Time TV...some of whom actually looked like rapsists.

But in such matters one can't go by looks alone...

The police have arrested Asaram's servant and he told the police that Asaram met women alone at night.

But the medical report says there was no rape...just molestation...

This is crazy....and I have been reasoning why the Congress Party is happy with Asaram's arrest while the BJP is not.....

And why should a holyman in Rahul Gandhi's Amethi cut off his own genitals although he did not rape anyone?

We really don't need the Taliban?

In all this sex stuff...the Sensex has been forgotten....

If only a handsome RBI Governor could sex up the Sensex.

But dollars don't come in that way....our Prime Minister has been busy in St. Petersburg asking his poor and rick freinds to help a friend in need.

Instead of going to the IMF he is helping create another dollar reserve to `source' up the Rupee.

Its like telling Japan...let me go on spending like mad...and if it all dries up..then can I borrow some from you?

Just to honour Madam Sonia's Food Bill, "Its not a question of not having the money. We have to find the money..."

Our Prime Minister should have told her "Money does not grow on trees..."

But he didn't.

So we have the Food Bill, the Land Theft Bill, the Save the Convicted MP Bill, the Dearness Bill, the Pension Bill....

And now..the Mental Bill 2013.....

Its madness....

`Let Us Bite The Bullet' says Indian Prime Minister

By Manuwant Choudhary

My two pups Timone & Pumba have been very worried since the stock market collapse and a hundred billion dollars just left the country in a single day !

They sit and watch the TV debates like its the end of the world.

Me: Why are you two so sad? Surely you don't invest in the stock market?

Timone: You don't understand...we have every reason to worry.

Pumba: I agree with Timone. You just don't understand. You don't understand even after reading newspapers.

Me: What newspaper?

Timone: Didn't you read about the cabinet meeting on Food Security Bill?

Pumba: It said that P. Chidamabaram and Sharad Pawar and others ganged up to oppose the bill.

Me: Thats good. They are right after all. Where will they find 5000 crore rupees to distribute rice all over India?

Timone: Ah they are the government...like Kings...they have so much money...they don't know where to keep them in India so they keep it in Swiss banks!

Pumba: yes, yes, and with the dollar now at Rs.65 you can imagine how much richer the corrupt with Swiss bank accounts have become.

Timone: I like Baba Ramdev...just bring back the Swiss bank money and why 5000 crores...we will show america how its dollars will fly back to Bombay.....

Me: But i still don't understand why you two are worried?

Pumba: Didn't you read the Prime Minister stopped his ministers from quarelling and said `Lets Bite the Bullet..'

Me: But yes, and what does that mean?

Timone: Surely, it does not mean the Congress Seva Dal workers getting themselves shot in UP!

Pumba: But I did see Congressmen buying bullets in Delhi.

Timone: Congressmen are like slaves they will eat anything as long as the High Command tells them to...

Me: You mean they will eat bullets?

Timone: You don't understand...its a question of life & death for us..

Me: But obviously you don't eat bullets. Biting a bullet is a metaphor..er.errr...it means something else.

Pumba: So you tell us what it means?

Me...er...ah....if you know then why don't you tell me..and by the way how do you know what happened at the cabinet meet in such detail.

Timone: The Editor is our friend.

Me; You mean Editor of Hindustan Times?

Timone: No. I mean the Editor who lives in Delhi.

Me: Cummon...you two are just Dogs....why would the Editor even talk to you both?

Timone: I love AK Antony he says the Food Bill has to be passed because Soniaji promised it to the people...and that pledge is most important.

Pumba: I like Prannoy Roy also..he said the Food Subsidy is more important than the Fuel subsidy..after all its for the poor....But why did the PM end the debate with the biting bullet thing? He should have said lets all eat rice...

Me: But I still don't understand why you two are interested in the food bill of all things...you get your four square meals every day...

Timone: Ah you don't even know where our rice comes from.

Me: It comes from the market.

Pumba: Heh, no your mom buys it from the poor at Rs.15 per kilo...in the market it is Rs.30 per kilo...

Me: You mean the poor don't eat rice..they sell rice.

Timone: yes, its we who eat rice...the poor don't eat rice..they want money to become rich.

Me: But who is the Editor you both know...

Pumba: He is Vinod Mehta's dog !

Me: This is too much...my dogs know so much..but I am sure this Editor got it wrong...the Prime Minister only said, "Let Us Bite the Ballot.."