China's Nightmare!

Dev Anand - The Hero

By Manuwant Choudhary

Dev Anand is a timeless hero.

He passed away in London aged 88 and my heart is at Mehboob studios where tributes are being paid to a legend.

For the past week or so I have been reading obituaries by eminent film journalists and editors and why even Jug Suraiya wrote a wonderful piece in the Times of India on how he covered the Hare Rama Hare Krishna film shoot in Kathmandu as a cub reporter with The Junior Statesmen.

I am not a film journalist and during my stint as a journalist in Bombay covering filmstars was not on my agenda.

But some meetings are destined.

So one morning after doing an early morning shift I took this train to meet Dev Anand.

In Bandra we were taken up to his penthouse.

I really did not know what to ask him.

I think I was terrible at interviewing filmstars. I had not watched their films.

But as soon as we entered Dev Anand greeted us with a warm smile and a firm handshake requesting our photographer with loving kindness if they liked tea or coffee.

I recall in Bombay's humid summer Dev Anand had a yellow sweater slung around his shoulders and that unmistakable glint in his eyes.

But it was an unusual interview. There was so much going on.

Dev Anand seemed not busy but active...as he would move from one end of the penthouse to the other..issuing instructions as people came in and out.

And then suddenly like without even a thought he would put his legs on a low table and tie his shoe laces firm.

Only then was he ready to be interviewed.

As he sat on a sofa alongside I could sense an energy around Dev Anand.

Just like it was yesterday and with great style he told me how he graduated from Lahore Law College and then took the Frontier Mail and arrived at Bombay Central with just a suitcase.

He stayed with Raja Rao the famous novelist and how he was in awe of Motilal - the actor in those days.

Dev Anand said they would all read film magazines in college at Lahore.

"I came to Bombay to be a hero."

But before he got his breaks he did odd jobs and he even took up a job as a censor during the War days and he would travel by local train to Churchgate and read letters written by soldiers to their wives and to film stars.

Dev Anand enjoyed the odd jobs but he knew he had come to Bombay not to find a job but to be a hero.

His big break came with Hum Ek Hain - a film on Hindu-Muslim unity which bombed.

But his later films like Guide took him to great heights.

And as he told me all this...suddenly he got up from his sofa and pointed outside his penthouse glass ..."There down there was the garage I first stayed in...and you know even then I knew I would build a big film studio one day. And I built it right here itself!"

There was a spring in his steps!

Suddenly, large albums would be brought to him...Dev Saab was very busy and excited with the World Premier of his latest film.

"You know ..its being launched in New York and then London and the all over the world, " he would tell me....

We all knew that he put in so much effort and his own money to make those films which all bombed.

He did discover many of Bollywood bombshells though....and girls would hang around his studio all day to be noticed by Dev Saab.

But right now Dev Saab was interested in some Pakistani starlet..and large photos would be placed in fron of him and Dev Saab would instruct his photo editor.."Can you remove the hero from this photo and put my photo instead and yes do it properly...my arms should be around her..."

It all looked another world to me and I could not help ask him why he makes so many films and they don't do well...he loses his money.

He suddenly looked at me intently, "You know actually I don't lose that much money. I direct my own films. I am the hero...I hire new actresses...and I even edit my own films...I produce it also....I write the scripts....and I prefer not to shoot in India..I take the team abroad..get them to commit a few months and thats it..I am done..I have told what is to be told...."

And then I asked him what about ideas..what motivates him?

Without a pause he replied, "You."

Then taking the newspaper from my hands..he asked me so what is the news story that you have covered today.

I replied, "Bomb blasts!"

Yes, yes, thats it..Bomb Blast will be my next venture.

Every day its on the front pages, people getting killed senselessly.

As we finished, suddenly our photographer Sudharak Olwe politely asked Dev Saab that could we all take a photo together.

Dev Saab smilingly obliged.

News photograpahers generally don't do that...but I know Sudharak Olwe did that twice with me...once when I briefly walked the talk with India's finance minister Dr. Manmohan Singh.

I had asked Sudharak why he took my photo with Manmohan Singh. "One day you will know."

Id like the photo with Dev Saab.

Dev Anand few know but he actually launched a political party in the seventies.

But he told me as we left..."You know I am not a politician..thats not my job..but I will make a film called Prime Minister and show then what I can do.

You can't mourn a person like Dev Anand.

I am not going to shave my hair either.

I'd just colour my hair and sling my yellow sweater around my shoulders and tell the world my stories.

Even you can be Dev Anand.

Homecoming 25 Years, St. Joseph's, North Point, Darjeeling 7

By Manuwant Choudhary


Children's Day should not be observed on Jawaharlal Nehru's birthday...its Nehru's socialist policies that kept India in a cycle of perpetual poverty..denying children even an opportunity to learn new skills.

Jhansi Ki Rani's birthday should be Children's Day.

Or every school should be free to observe Childrens Day to respect the educationist who founded the school or gave his life to.

We the Class 0f 86 gathered in Darjeeling to respect all such teachers....and even instituted an award `The Sunshine Award' to recognise an individual for his contribution in reaching out to the most needy.

Sunshine is scarce in the hills but it always made us happy since when we were in school...we would get a `Sunshine' Holiday..

At Glenary's all the teachers who taught us were invited...some could not make it due to old age.

This years `Sunshine Award was given to Father Gerald Van (rector Emeritus) for setiing up a school for children in Mongphu and Father Kinley Tsering (current Rector) for running a winter school for underprivileged children at North Point when the school closes for holidays.



The teachers who did attend are Mr. Manuel Coutino (English) who has been teaching for 52 years.

Mr. John West our Chemistry teacher more famous for his English `Utah' (water)...

Mr. Wangdi Lama the ever fit sports instructor (Lokesh Rana still plays football)

Mr. S. Jha our Hindi teacher.

Mr. S.C. Das our swimming instructor.

Mr. H.B. Chhetri our Nepali teacher who told us ghost stories could not make it as he was in Siliguri.

Mr. Bhutto Pradhan our art teacher was also unwell.

And Mrs. Lefevre is very much in Darjeeling.

We observed a minutes silence to remember those teachers and collegaues who have passed away.

3 of our classmates passed away - one killed in a MIG crash.

25 years is a long time but when your teachers remember you it feels wonderful.

We were really fortunate to have had such great teachers....

In fact Father Van was the Rector in 1977 when I first joined school and on the first day itself I had escaped from the study hall.

Mr. Venkat - the tough PD Prefect chased me down the corridor but I kicked him so hard I was able to get away - Mr. Venkat remembered my kick all through the ten years I was at NP.

A tall Canadian caught me and I was lifted and taken to Father Van's office where Father Van tried to talk to me but the only English I knew was my name.

And then he slapped me.

I sobbed and finally fell asleep in his office. (Father Van continued to work in the office)

He then lifted me and took me to the dorm and asked Sister Suma to give me some soup if I awoke.



Father Van would always squat when he spoke to a child.

So it was heartening to see him so active yet.

Sanjay Sharma was luckier than us..he managed to escape from school several times and when he reminded Father Van about it all..Father Van even recalled the window he had used !

Father Van spoke about his school at Mongphu "Today we had the sports day and the children are so small that when the race started ..some just stood there...they did not know they had to run.."

There was real joy in his eyes when he spoke of the children.


When we returned ..in the car I thought about all that had not changed and all that had changed....

25 years later still no Gorkhaland !

And Subhash Ghising now lives in Siliguri (under West Bengal police protection)!

And I am still like Father Van's Mongphu school children who don't know its a race....

Homecoming 25 Years, St. Joseph's, North Point, Darjeeling 6

By Manuwant Choudhary

Darjeeling: Facebook is real dumb...it thinks I am an alumni of J.B. Petit (Bombay) and Convent of Jesus & Mary (Delhi).

But for us boys...those who had sisters we could say he were part alumni of Loreto Convent (Darjeeling)



Actually we were the lucky ones who could visit Loreto to see their sisters every month and on Rakhi..so we were really `privileged'.

And every batch had a pretty LC girl whom all the boys were after...

In our 86' batch we had a Marwari-Bihari girl if I remember clearly???

So this time we oldies took a walk to LC.

And it was so different.

Loreto is the place where Mother Teresa had taught before she took up her calling....

But Loreto doesn't have boarding any more...I think its one of the casualties of the long-drawn fruitless struggle for Gorkhaland.

The nuns found it impossible to continue.

25 years ago when you entered its gates even the most rowdy element would be silenced...such was its discipline.

And if you wanted to meet your sister you would first ring a bell then a lady would appear and you had to write your sisters name and your relationship with her onto a small slip which would then be taken on a wooden platter to the Mother...and a large register would be checked for details and only if your name figured there would the nun grant the 10 minute permission.

We would usually take Glenaries pastries for our sisters.

And the garden was breathtakenly spiritual.

Now its overgrown....

For the rest who did not have sisters they would simply wait for the annual social with LC girls and the party would be held under bright tube-lights alongwith some Shakespeare quiz contest and with the Nuns watching over..so that guys don't cross the unseen line.

And at elocutions the girls would always win (gender bias!)

Darjeeling girls are very pretty..and now you can see them wearing North Point badges on their blazers but they study in the college.



The school is still only boys.

But North Point plays have become more famous because of their girls...and at the school fet the NP girls were all over...

Its only in the evening when we watched the school play...`A Matter Of Pride' - NPs first Home Production - that we realised why....

Even the script is written by the students themselves....

At first it appears erratic and disjointed and it has all the masala of a Hollywood gangster film - drugs, women, songs, and crime.....but later it all fits in.

The star is JJ....a talented young singer...who makes it big.

But when he has it all he suddenly throws it all up.



`A Matter Of Pride' makes you think.

Why all education is not just about facts but it should makes us think...

Mr. Santiago's (our primary school teacher) daughter Ana Marie Santiago ....played the piano and directed the play.

Homecoming 25 Years, St. Joseph's, North Point, Darjeeling 5

By Manuwant Choudhary

Standing just next to the speaker listening to Bob Marley's Get Up, Stand Up....Don't Give Up The Fight....with hundreds of young boys was literally a `Blast' !

But for us returning to school after 25 years the Bob Marley lyrics carried more meaning.

25 years of struggle on a daily basis is very, very different from the organised, protected life we all led at North Point.

I remember Mr. Maurice Banerjee, our very respectable physics teacher (who retired in 1986, we were the last batch he taught), warning us of how tough life is in the plains when you have to take a crowded bus or train in 45 degrees C.

Life is tougher than that...

Enjoy the song...and Never Give Up The Fight.....

Never Give Up The Fight....

Homecoming 25 Years, St. Joseph's, North Point, Darjeeling 4

By Manuwant Choudhary

Darjeeling: A walk to Monkey Rock is full of memories...25 years ago we would walk here for a wash in a spring when Darjeeling was faced with acute water scarcity.

It was also here that I was unjustly caned.

Ranvir was singing this song `Night Flight to venus'' when he dropped his mug on the khudside and seeing the commotion the school prefect appeared and when he asked who did it, Ranvir immediately pointed towards me..and I was caned...the last one hit my little finger and a mark remains till today.

But it was a lesson..never accept an unjust punishment.

Life comes a full circle as I took a photo with Ranvir here.

But Monkey Rock is now called Tenzing Rock and on the opposite side is Phantom Rock now renamed Gombu Rock.

And a Hanuman temple has occupied the place.





Monkey Rock now has a permanent rope and you can climb it for Rs.30/- and the other side there are a dozen tea stalls.

25 years ago it was natural.

And yes the Haunted House !

But Darjeeling is become too crowded now literally the hills are for sale or up for grabs.

Just write Gorkhaland and its yours.

And its better to walk than take a taxi....the roads see traffic snarls and surprisingly no one honks...they seem used to it all.

We could not spot a single ambassador.

And this was the only Land Rover we saw.




25 years ago Darjeeling was full of Amby's and Land Rovers as Land Rovers were the only vehicles you could take to Tiger Hill.

We would look forward to our monthly outings and in Rs.10 we would like buy the town.

Keventers, New Dish, Glenery's and a dozen others....

Penang is still there and refurbished in all blue...the waiters wear dresses to match the flower-pot !

In Rs.350 four of us had our momo lunch.

A Big Bazaar has replaced the Link Cinema...

And the Capitol Cinema (with the clock Tower) now houses the Darjeeling Municipality.

I wonder what the municipality does.

Even the Capital Cinema seemed occupied.

The lower bazaar is still a shanty.

Darjeeling doesn't need Gorkhaland..it needs a car park.

Maybe the lower bazaar should be completely demolished to house a multi storeyed car park and a large mall to house all the dislocated shops in one place with a square in the centre.




The Chowrasta is still beautiful....Oxford book store and the Tin Tin Comics are still around in perfect shape.

In fact the upper mall is still beautiful. The Brits definitely did something right.

Planters Club....the Shangrila Restaurant....its a walk down memory lane...



Glenyry's now has three levels...upper a restaurant, the second a pastry shop and a third now which is a pub.

The tastiest pastry's anywhere and now you can sit in there and enjoy the view as well.


And yes..the Churpee (made from Yak Milk).....

Homecoming 25 Years, St. Joseph's, North Point, Darjeeling 3

By Manuwant Choudhary

Sursum Corda !

Darjeeling: Sursum Corda - our school motto in latin - means `Lift Up Your Heart'. And this motto has stayed with us all through life.

And the first glimpse of North Point in 25 years is simply a joy that is hard to describe.

When in school we would often have `Old' North Pointers visiting and we would simply laugh when they spoke to us and said, "Aah every stone, every pillar is the same..."

Wish we could say the same.

But North Point has changed.



The Fraser Hall is still the same and its stone facade intact. But the schools main building has a coat of grey paint now and it doesn't look good. We `Oldies' just prefer the stone and the moss.



Hope the old stone facade can be restored somehow.

And we also hope the Fraser Hall isn't demolished.

It is a beautiful hall with a wooden room and best acoustics...and its benches are the same. In our time Father Lohar was incharge of films and we saw all the westerns here. If the primary boys were being punished by the Prefect for some reason he would simply cancel the show ! Father Lohar wore the black Jesuit gown and walked with a limp as one of his legs were short and he wore special shoes but we loved him.

A quote outside the Rector's office best explains why North Point has changed.

"All the art of living lies in a fine mingling of letting go and holding on." - Henry Ellis.

The current Rector is Father Kinley Tsering.

But some changes were not just necessary but also desirable.

The quadrangle is a gentle blue now instead of grey and with lawns, It looks beautiful and colorful. We had red dust that blew all over the place.

The old indoor swimming pool has been removed to house the 11th section and the new swimming pool is in the open.



The old dining hall was hardly an attraction and now the new one overlooking the pool looks 5 star.



But there are far too many pavilions.



The main pavilion on the lower ground still exists but not maintained while a new one has been built.

The tennis courts are gone and instead there are dozens of basketball courts.

North Point also doesn't play hockey anymore. Wonder why? Anjay Shah was our great goal keeper and aprt from basketball this was one game we would play with Loreto Convent girls.

We watched the Gold Cup Football. Tata Football Academy versus Baichung Bhutia's Sikkim United. The Tata's won..but the game was nowhere close to the Mohan Bagan versus East Bengal matches we saw in school. Aaah Shyam Thapa's scissor kicks how much we did that on the field ourselves.

The toilets look much swankier...we had those rows of locked toilets and we hated the guy who had the keys and sometimes finding him would be impossible and we would be in `deep shit'.



But we did see the washroom and it felt wonderful turning on the same taps.....except there was no Sister Suma now with a cane shouting `You Piggy, rub harder..."

No Brother James either !

And the commune steam filled bath does exist !

But one good news is that North Point has solved its water problems. Water Harvesting enables it to collect a years water supply.

In school we had 600 students, now there are 1200 !

Mr. Andre Lefevre is our Geography teacher's son and he explained how classrooms have become smarter. "33 classrooms don't have blackboards anymore....anything we write on the smart screens is saved and can be recalled the next day or even in another classroom...teaching biology is easier as we don't have to draw the heart...just call the image and explain !"

And yes, the women teacher's are still beautiful !

Homecoming 25 Years, St. Joseph's, North Point, Darjeeling 2

By Manuwant Choudhary

The monsoons are just over but the river Teesta has very little water and on way we saw a huge dam being built across it.

Governments call this `development' but since India's independence the electricity and irrigation needs of the people have not been fulfilled.

And wonder how Dr. Manmohan Singh promises to give Bangladesh water from the Teesta.

But Mamata didi opposed him.

The climb to Ghoom is steep. On way we saw the bungalow owned by Nobel Laureate Rabindranath Tagore (he probably spent his summers here).

Milestones saying Jorebungalow 18 kms seemed really far away.

This stretch ensures drivers remain slim and trim.

Our driver Sonu from Siliguri finally made it to Ghoom and before we realised we were near the Ghoom monastery and the Batasia loop (where the toy train takes a funny shape, moves in circles before heading towards Darjeeling).

But in 1976 when I first made this trip with my father driving an ambassador late evening we were dazzled by the lights of Darjeeling - a sight hard to forget - a wow!

Now you can't see Darjeeling from Ghoom. Houses have been built on both sides of the road.

We checked into Hotel Seven Seventeen - an unusual name - but we later found out that the hotel is owned by our lower division school prefect Mr. Tashi Penjore. (717 is the hotel owners lucky number, all his cars, bikes, shops have this number).

Price: Rs.2000 per room per night.

The hotel I always stayed in as a student was Hotel New Elgin.

In those days the room rent would be Rs.400 per night or even less and there were just 5 rooms.

Now the Hotel is called The Elgin Hotel and room rents are Rs.8000/- per night !

Seven Seventeen is reasonable with a Tibetan touch and freindly staff. A large dining hall serves breakfast and food as well.

But as soon as we arrived and rested two of our class mates arrived and we were soon on our way to Chowrasta.

Keventers, Glenary's, Das Studio almost all prominent shops had posters welcoming the North Pointers Class of 86.



And we were not Gorkhaland leaders.

The welcome dinner was at a garden resort on the opposite side of Chowrasta.



This photo was taken by Sanjay Sharma..after two pegs this is the best he could do.

Like the Bonfire - meeting old friends rekindled the warmth even in the November chill.

Homecoming 25 Years, St. Joseph's, North Point, Darjeeling

By Manuwant Choudhary

Darjeeling: I really never expected to meet up with so many old school friends and I did feel like meeting my old teachers and Rectors of the school and even just a glimpse of our school St. Joseph's, North Point, Darjeeling, in the backdrop of a majestic Kunchenjunga would give me happiness thats hard to describe.

I spent more time here than anywhere else in the world, not even home.

So when I got an invite to attend `Homecoming 25 years' I thought I must take the time anyhow.

So Ranvir Choudhary (now a doctor) and myself found ourselves on a train Capital Express to New Jalpaiguri - a journey we did many times before but it felt so different now.



We were men now, busy with work & responsibilities, having our own agendas, our own minds and doing so much we could never ever think of doing.

Yet, as a country I am still not sure whether we are going forward or backward?

In the eighties when there was just a single Indian Airlines we flew from Patna to Bagdogra and then took the taxi to Darjeeling, now with so many private airlines there is not a single flight from Patna to Bagdogra.

But the train ride this time was light, no trunks and no beddings and no books.

And as children going to school always gave you that `Homesick' feeling.

As adults we were `Schoolsick'!

Our school chorus went something like this `Hurrah for our Home In the Mountains...Hurrah for the monarch's of snow..."

At New Jalpaiguri we took a taxi - a Maruti Wagon R - for Rs.1600. (In school we paid only Rs.300 for the full taxi)

And the taxi driver informed us that the Siliguri-Kurseong Highway is still blocked due to the landslide...so we would be taking the longer Mungphu road.

After driving on the Gangtok highway begins the climb to Ghoom.

And as `We Toil Up from the Valley Below...." we could see the beautiful flower-lined cottages and orange orchards.

Smiling children.

The air felt lighter and everything so clear - like truth.

(to be continued)....

Man Of Peace !

By Manuwant Choudhary

Maldives: Exclusive interview with Indian Prime Minister Dr. Manmohan Singh

Me: Sir, my first question to you is that for the first time India and Pakistan seem so peaceful....

PM: Aaah, you see the sunset on the Indian ocean its like magic....

Me: You mean the beach...

PM: No, I mean the sunset....

Me: You mean the sand....

PM: No, no I mean how it all looks in the sunset...

ME. You mean the coconut trees....

PM: You fool why do people go to Goa?

ME: Ok, ok ..i think I know what you mean.....but lets get on with our interview...you said that the Pakistani Prime Minister is a Man of Peace.

PM: Yes, I did say that and I always stand by what I say.

Me: But the whole world says Pakistan is a `terror state'.

PM: I never said anything about Pakistan. I only said the PM is a Man of Peace.

Me: Okay, okay, but their foreign minister says Jamat-ud-Dawa is also a peaceful charitable organisation.

PM: Thats what they say.

Me: But they also say Hafiz Saeed is a Man of Peace.

PM: Right thats what they say.

Me: And that Kasab is he a Manof Peace 2?

PM: Pakistanis believe he is so..they told me he butchers peacefully.

Me: Butchers means kills.

PM: I didn't say that..he is peaceful with the AK 56..the way he shoots.

Me: But the Pakistanis say Hang Kasab, so why don't we hang him?

PM: We can't do what the Pakistanis say...you see we are a peace-loving country.

Me: And what about Dawood?

PM: Many in India worship him so he must be a Man of Peace.

Me: And that Tiger Memon who bombed Bombay two decades ago..

PM: He is a peaceful Tiger.

Me: And Osama bin Laden?

PM: Man of Peace....

Me: George Bush?

PM: Man of Peace....

Me: So who is a Man of War.

PM: Sri, Sri, Sri, Sri, Sri Ravishankar is a Man of War. How dare he go to Amethi !

India Censors Tibetan Flag In Film `Rockstar'

By Manuwant Choudhary

India has censored the waving of a Tibetan flag in the film `Rockstar' to release this week.

Now the flag will be blurred.

You will not even get a glimpse of it.

But a flag is a flag not nudity.

But India's censors think otherwise...and they say they would have allowed nudity but Tibetan flag - definitely No.

Hott kissing scenes are Ok.

Good luck Ranbir Kapoor & Nargis.

I wonder if the censor board would block my blog as well.

Just watched Radhika Bordia's special tribute on socialist singer Bhupen Hazarika on NDTV and the singer talks about his love for Mao's communism and how he even sang songs in praise of their friend from across the Himalayas.

Until one day bombs fell on his home state Assam and the Chinese occupied it.

He talks with so much pain since he had just returned to India trained as a journalist at the Columbia school and he went to cover the fall of Bomdilla....and on seeing the 55 dead jawans he composed a song...on how they were invincible in death..and he wished he was one of them.

Hazarika talks about how let-down the people of Assam were because when Jawaharlal Nehru said Bye-bye, he was actually leaving portions of India to the Chinese.

Hazarika says, "My songs were in praise of two `Shaktis' - India & China - but what do you do when one `Shakti' attacks the other.

Bhupen Hazarika died a member of the BJP.

Yet, neither the Congress Party (which rules Assam mostly) nor the BJP gave him his due - the Bharat Ratna.

I would say S.D. Burman is the other person who deserves India's highest civilian award.

Bhupen Hazarika never made it to the Rajya Sabha also.

When Dr. Manmohan Singh our Prime Minister gets himself nominated to Rajya Sabha from Assam (although he is not from Assam).

And now they've even changed the rules to allow anybody getting elected from any state.

This is why India's federal structure is under threat.

Will this come under Jan Lokpal?

Dr. Singh is dishonest, just as IK Gujral would get nominated from Bihar.

So it hurts to see a Tibetan flag being cencored in free India when China captures our territory and on maps even show Arunachal Pradesh as being a part of China.

Recently, when a journalist asked a visiting Chinese Governor about this, the Chinese replied, "Shut up."

The Indian reporter reminded him, "Sir, this is India, not China."

Yet the Congress Party crawl before the Chinese.

Even when Hindi-Chini bhai-bhai became Hindi-Chini hai-hai....

Its a shame..

Dil Hoom Hoom Kare...ghabraye......

Free India, Free Tibet !

Paperless PMO !

By Manuwant Choudhary

I wish the Prime Minister's Office looks like this...and not `Paperless' as Mr. Pulok Chatterjee, principal secretary to the Prime Minister, plans to do.

A senior journalist in Patna told me how difficult it has become for journalists to get anything out of the Bihar government after computerisation.

Before all you needed to do was take a clerk for some `chai' and paan and he would drop a highly confidential document on the streets.

But now the clerks can't help journalists as all they know is how to dust the computers !

And dust there is - a thick coat - as most `Babu's' still dont know how to operate a computer.

For this more jobs are created ..they are called `computer operators'.

With a `Paperfull' office its so easy to get a 2G note out or what Chidambaram wrote but now Mr. Pulok Chaterjee insists even cabinet notings must come in electronic form and through him.

And Pranab da, India's finance minister, wants to get out of the sticky situation saying its the cabinet secretary who asked him to mention all those bad things about Chidambaram.

And after all this the Delhi High Court gives an entire file to that fellow Subramaniam Swamy.

God what has this country come to.

Official Secrecy?

In Bihar the chief minister takes his chopper to remote Bagaha to begin his `Seva Yatra'.

A journalist said this time his District Magistrates do not know which school or hospital he may visit.

And the cabinet approves the chief minister be brought under the Lok Ayukta....but there will be no single Lok Ayukta, rather is will be a commitee.

I remember once at the Bihar Public Service Commission we covered a controversy where two persons both had offices with the nameplates saying they were chairman, BPSC.

Democratisation is not always a good thing.

Take this case for example - a doctor commits suicide in Siwan.

The reason being he took a loan from a bank of Rs. 8 lakh - not to go abroad for higher studies - but to bribe a Bihar minister so that he becomes a Civil surgeon.

But as things happened..the health secretary disagreed with the minister and delayed the file and instead sent it to the chief minister.

The final list had different names, not the ones selected by the minister.

Hence, the doctor killed himself.

And always be suspicious of bureaucrats who become Rajya Sabha MPs.

Like Nitish Kumar nominated RCP Sinha as his MP after the UP cadre officer took premature reirement from his service.

RCP was principal secretary to Nitish Kumar.

One internet report says he was exactly what R.K. Dhawan was to Mrs. Indira Gandhi.

Thats perhaps the politest way to put things...without attracting a defamation suit.

But even `honest' politicians thrive on the Department of Transfers & Postings.

And its worth crores.

Government officials willing to buy their positions and place of posting.

If you dont pay, the husband will find himself working 300 kms away from his wife !

Occupy !

By Manuwant Choudhary

My editor commissioned me to visit USA to get the inside story on the Occupy Movement and so here I am at the Wall Street....

Me squatting with an Occupier: Hello, I am a junior reporter from India and I would like to ask you a few questions if you don't mind.

Occupier 1: Shoot.

Me: Can you tell me the inspiration behind the Occupy movement...like is it China because they occupy Tibet or is it India and Pakistan because they Occupy Jammu & Kashmir?

Occupier: No, no....we are not Occupier's like that....We are different kind...

Me: But how...at least you are leftist like the politicians in India and China.

Occupire: No, no...politicians in India and China love the Wall Street. the World Bank, the IMF...we hate em all.

Me: You mean China and India love Tibet and Kashmir so they occupy but you occupy only places you hate...

Occupier: Right..you are close but we are still different...

Me: Okay, okay who is your leader.

Occupier: Our Leader is a website!

Me: What how can a Leader be a website!

Occupier: yes, yes, thats why we all sit here with our ipads and iphones and Macs....

Me: And whats his name?

Occupier: Occupytogether.org

Me: You mean you do whatever they write on this website.

Occupier: yes.

me: But I here you sent some team to India to find out the places you hate most in India.

Occupier: yes, yes, we did and we found a lot. I was part of the team.

me: tell me like what...

Occupier: Like Indian trains are occupied to full capacity still they make a loss.

Me: And?

Occupier: Like the train toilets are forever occupied ...

Me: You mean they are in use...

Occupier: Used only sometimes, but mostly people without tickets travel in them.

Me: Did you actually see a toilet?

Occupier: I did and learnt a lot.

me: Like what..

Occupier: Like when the British occupied India they built the train system so that Indians could shit all over their country...they have holes in them..you can even check the train speed.

Me: I have not come all the way to talk about train toilets. My source tells me that you guys want to occupy the Indian parliament.

Occupier: Yeah, we thought we would do that..but the Indian parliament is already occupied !

No Prime Minister, Yes Madam !

By Manuwant Choudhary

Who is this man? Well, err, most would say don't know, not seen him but what if I say he is more powerful than our Prime Minister Dr. Manmohan Singh....

He is Sonia Gandhi's man in the Prime Minister's Office.

Recently returned to India after a stint at the World Bank he is now the principal secretary to the Prime Minister Dr. Manmohan Singh.

A sidey TV channel reporter a few days ago did his live reporting and this is exactly what he said and in excatly this order:

"Pulok Chatterjee will not be attending the G 20 Summit at Cannes in France as his daughter is getting married on November 6.....but Prime Minister Manmohan Singh will be attending."

Well, India's Prime Minister did attend the G 20 and returned after muttering useful nothings.

And most likely both Sonia Gandhi and Dr. Singh will be attending the wedding of the daughter of Pulok Chatterjee.

So who is this man?

Well, as the internet reports reveal he was handpicked by VP Singh to appoint him as an IAS in Amethi to look after Sanjay Gandhi's constituency.

After Sanjay's demise he continued working in Uttar Pradesh.

And was the District Magistrate in Rae Bareily from where Sonia Gandhi was first elected.

And served Sonia Gandhi as OSD when she was the leader of the opposition.

Now he replaces TKA Nair as principal secrtary and has issued strict orders that every file going to the PM must go through him.

Mr. Nair was also to be made Governor of Rajasthan but his appointment was reportely opposed by Mr. Chatterjee.

Wow !

Now 2 Gandhi Nehru servants in the PMO !

Its like Sonia Gandhi even tells the PM on which hand he must wave at public rallies!

Not Yes Prime Minister, but Jee Madam!!!

I Prefer This Anna

By Manuwant Choudhary

I went shopping looking for an `Anna' cap and instead this is what I found...

And I like this Anna....

She talks.

He is on `maun' vrata.

Her blood pressures are normal.

His are high.

She eats food.

He doesn't.

She drinks, even alcohol.

He doesn't drink and bans others also.

She does not stay at Ralegan Siddi.

He lives at Ralegan Siddi.

She wears jeans.

He wears a dhoti.

She loves the RSS (internet feed).

He constantly denies any links to RSS.

She reads and writes her blogs.

He has a ghost blogger.

She likes sex.

He is single.

She has better freinds than Kiran Bedi, Arvind Kejriwal and Prashant Bhushan.

He has them.

She doesn't have Digvijay Singh barking at her every day.

He has Digvijay Singh barking at him everyday.

She has no plan A, B, C.

He has plan A, B, C, and the Congress Party has Formula 1 - make Rahul PM.

Pr Formula 2 - Make Priyanka PM.

She loves the Taj Mahal and India.

He hasnt visited Agra.

She cares about Kashmir and its people.

He cares only about Kashmir.

For her. her home is her castle, no one can take that away from her.

For the Congress, the Government of India can.

And for him the Gram Swaraj can.

Corruption?

Private Sector Bribery Bill?

By Manuwant Choudhary

Did you see how serious India's Prime Minister Dr. Manmohan Singh was at the CBI meet where he said he is going to bring a Private Sector Bribery Bill? For this he invited India's top bribery expert to the Prime Minister's Office...

PM: I am dead serious in bringing this Private Sector Bribery Bill in the winter session of parliament.

Bribery Expert: Sir, how can I help you?

PM: Well, first you have to tell me all the different kinds of bribery so that we can ban them.

Bribery Expert: Sir, before we start I have a query. Isn't bribery just bribery. What do you mean by Private Sector Bribery?

PM: No, no...already half my ministers are in Tihar jail...now we want only private sector bribery to stop.

Bribery Expert: What about public sector bribery?

PM: You mean oil companies?

Bribery Sector: Oil, fertliser, railways....all of them

PM: No, no all bills have exemptions so we will keep them exempted..after all they do national service.....and our job is to uplift the underprivileged.

Bribery Expert: Sir, okay lets begin but I have critical information about bribery by Ambani, Tata and Birla....

PM: Really? No, no they are all honest gentlemen.

Bribery Expert: Well, I followed their donations and they all bribe the Congress Party every election to get favours after....

PM: No, no no..you got it all wrong ..they just want to help Indian democracy and the Nehru Gandhi family remain in power...its not bribery..its social responsibility and that is tax exempt.

Bribery Expert: What about land? All of UP Mayawati is giving to those builders..should we go after them? Even that DLF fellow...DLF 1,2,3,4,5,6,...no land ceiling laws apply to them?

PM: I told you don't focus on government..the Bill is called Private Sector Bribery.

Bribery Expert: Sir, I don't think Rahul Baba understands anything when he writes to you that all kith and kin must declare their assets...you know even that Robert Vadra fellow will have to declare his assets and you know he is a private fellow..businessman you see..

PM: Just focus on them not us...your brief is clear.

Bribery Expert: Should we consult L K Advani see how he travels all over India on corruption....

PM: Do not go near him,,he wants only me in jail so that he can become PM.

Bribery Expert: Should we focus on BJP ruled states like Bihar where ministers build seven-storyed apartments?

PM: No, no..no...Lok Ayuktas are there for that..I just want you to draft this private sector bill.

Bribery Expert: Sir, do you know that Rs.400 crore was withdrawns from ATMs in poor Bihar on dhanteras?

PM: Really, but why?

Bribery expert: Its obvious...its bribery.

PM: You mean even on Diwali....

Bribery Expert: yes, sir..see all those gifts and flowers outside your house...we may just have to ban Diwali.

PM: Do not overstep your brief. Just focus.

Bribery Expert: Just tell me what you want?

PM: I want a bill against Arvind Kejriwal.

Kiran Bedi Upgraded!

By Manuwant Choudhary

This morning I was at the Indira Gandhi International Airport (Domestic) and I see Kiran Bedi arguing with the red girl at the ticketing counter...

Ticketing Girl: Maam here is your Economy Class Ticket to Bombay.

Kiran Bedi: You don't watch television?

Ticket Girl: Sorry, what? I don't get time to even sleep. These private airlines keep us working 24 hours. But I just offered you your ticket.

Kiran Bedi: How will corruption end if young girls don't watch the news.

Ticket Girl: I just want to sell you the ticket and am not interested in ending corruption. Otherwise I would have been a policewoman.

Kiran Bedi: No, I mean you should watch the news at least...and maybe leave strong messgaes in support of Anna on Facebook...the least you can do for the country.

Ticket Girl: Ya, I work very hard and pay my income tax...and don't steal or rob or bribe others.

Kiran Bedi: Its not enough you must be ready to go to Tihar jail to fight corruption.

Ticket Girl: I don't want to go to Tihar jail. Id rather visit Bangkok.

Kiran Bedi: Exactly, see what liberalisation has done to our youth.

Ticket Girl: Excuse me?

Kiran Bedi: Do you know how to wave the national flag?

Ticket Girl: Yah once in school I did that....

Kiran Bedi: Not in school. Have you waved the national flag for 11 full days?

Ticket Girl: No, why. And why would I do that?

Kiran Bedi: Exactly, you don't even know how to wave the national flag for 11 days.

Ticket Girl: I don't understand. I am just giving you your ticket and you are talking about the national flag.

Kiran Bedi: You airline people only know how to put on make-up and wear red short skirts and nothing else.

Ticket Girl: Maam we are here to only sell you the ticket. And here is your Economy Class ticket.

Kiran Bedi: Do you want to be on the front page of Indian Express?

Ticket Girl: No, maam, I don't read newspapers and I am not a sexy model..anyway even thats Page 3, not Page 1.

Kiran Bedi: Okay, let me explain very clearly. The minute I take this Economy Class Ticket from you we will be on national TV...500 channels in 44 Indian languages.

Ticket Girl: But Maam. I am only selling you a ticket.

Kiran Bedi: Your are so dumb. For 20 days now I have been on the news for travelling Economy Class !

Ticket Girl: But why?

Kiran Bedi: I don't know. I just saved some money by not flying Business Class because I wanted to visit poor Bihar.

Ticket Girl: So you were like Mahatma Gandhi who travelled third Class by train.

Kiran Bedi: Yes. And these journalists have got it all wrong. They say I am as corrupt as Kalmadi.

Ticket Girl: Oh I am so sorry our valued customer has to go through this but Maam will you take this Economy Class ticket.

Kiran Bedi: No. Even my trustees have said from now on I must not save money and travel Business Class instead.

Ticket Girl: But maam, what happened to the austerity drive?

Kiran Bedi: Austerity is only for Sashi Tharoor. See how he lost his job because he stayed in a 5 Star Hotel with his own money.

Ticket Girl: But I know maam you are not corrupt. You did not take even Re.1 from any truck driver all your life as an illustrious policewoman.

Kiran Bedi: No its not that. You have to be very carefull with accounts these days...and not be like housewives who steal their husbands money and say they spent it on Phenyl.

Ticket Girl: But I know maam every salaried person does all that...

Kiran Bedi: All that meaning.....? Everyone? You mean even the reporter who writes against me????

Ticket Girl: yes even the reporter, even i claim medical bills by submitting fake bills...you at least travel?

Kiran Bedi: You mean for all disesases, even those you don't have?

Ticket, Girl> yes, I have AIDS, Cancer, Tuberculosis and yet I am fit to work 24 hours!

Kiran Bedi: Hey just give me Business Class. At least I will sit cross-legged on those wide seats and close my eyes and meditate.

Pakistan - A Failed State Or A Rogue State

By Manuwant Choudhary

Ever since Osama Bin Laden was found living in Abbottabad and his arrest and execution (without Pakistan being informed), Pakistan is looking more like a Rogue State.

It has been a Failed State for a very long time but recent posturing by Gen Kayani warning the US against any unilateral air strikes in North Waziristan (where the terrorists could be holed up) and his reminder that Pakistan is a nuclear state, just indicates that Pakistan is of serious concern not just to the United States and India but to the world.

Pakistan's foreign minister Hina Rabbani is at odds with her beauty...she talks about `Sovereignty' but her dancing dark eyes are distrustful and nervous ..... she is not talking about Pakistan or her people but for the terror networks that exist on her soil.

The General says Pakistan will act on their own time and will, but the real question is will the terrorists also give the world enough time to foil their terror designs?

What we saw in Bombay and subsequent confessions with David Headley point towards just one thing that Pakistan is not just responsible for the terror networks but could be actively ordering the terror strikes as well.

Of course, I am no fan of the United States, its their billions that the Pakistani's have used to create such havens for terror.

But time may be running out and things are far from normal in Afghanistan and Pakistan.

Hillary Clinton's last attempts to make the Pakistani's see sense may fail.

India Absent In Manipur

By Manuwant Choudhary

Its now 90 days since two highways Manipur's only link to India have been blocked due to an ongoing feud between Nagas and Kukis over the carving of a disctrict and there is no sign of the government of India.

Wonder if Manipur is an `integral' part of India as our politicians often say about Kashmir.

Gas is selling at Rs.2000 per cylinder and petrol costs Rs.140 per litre and long queues can be seem at petrol stations

Potato in the rest of India is less than Rs.10, while in Manipur it is Rs.40.

Manipur depends on supplies from outside and trucks carrying essentials and other goods from the rest of India use the national highways (NH 53 and NH 39) passing through Nagaland and Assam.

The Sadar Hills District Demand Committee (SHDDC) had started its indefinite economic blockades on the National Highway 39 (Imphal-Dimapur-Guwahati) and National Highway 53 (Imphal-Jiribam-Silchar) on August one.

The SHDDC has demanded conversion of the Sadar Hills area in Senapati district into a full fledged district.

Opposing this, the United Naga Council (UNC) began its economic blockades on the two highways on August 21.

The government in Manipur is the same Congress Party that is in power at the centre and its chief minister is Ibobi Singh who is become India's most mocked at chief minister on facebook.

Instead of solving his state's problems he is busy scouting for land to build a 5 star hotel.

Manipur is also the state of Irom Sharmila who is on a ten year fast against the Special Forces Act, and the only time India took note of her was when Anna Hazare did his 11 day fast in New Delhi.

Wonder why India is not using the Special Forces Power Act to remove protestors from the streets.

Or is the Indian government scared of Nagas and Kukis?

The right thing would be to impose President's rule in Manipur, remove the blockades and deny any new districts.

Not The Last Tyrant

By Manuwant Choudhary

Television today brings us closer to history and how brutal...a tyrant being caught alive...is assaulted with his own shoes and you see Muammar Gaddafi being taken on a jeep, his face bleeding, a bit drowsy and pleading for mercy...as his last words were `Don't shoot'.

He was found in a highway drain trying to escape after a Nato bomb hit his carcade.

And then we see images of a dead Gaddafi being dragged on the streets of his home Sirte.

Yet, is he the same man Tony Blair had dinner with just a year ago?

I distrust governments - all governments.

And you can have a tyrant even in a democracy - people will elect him.

Hitler was elected after all.

And as I read todays newspapers there is no word from the Indian government or Dr. Manmohan Singh.

When the people of Libya were being bombed by Muammar Gaddafi and they looked east towards India, India looked the other way.

`Interests', economic, diplomatic or just plain corruption, and definitely not principles guide all governments.

Oil.

And governments get so badly involved it it all that even their Prime Ministers become lackeys of oil companies and their interests.

And I am not an `Occupy' activist or supporter.

But stop and look around the world we live in and you will realise that we are just one big cruel civilisation unable to resolve our problems.

Few individuals like beacons on light still exist amongst us who willl never take the short cut and who do not seek to dominate and they are not arrogant about their goodness.

Muammar Gaddafi was quite handsome when young...and disgustingly ugly when old.

A pencil moustache, eyes that is better with the sungalsses, a goat beard and a rock star hairstyle, but his face was so rough he did not look human.

Yet, in a CNN interview with Larry King he said he was not the Leader of Libya but Leader of the Revolution and that the revolution was still on.

And he was right, his own people revolted against him.

Gaddaffi's brand of tyranny was a combination of socialism, religious fundamentalism and his Green Book. 42 years!

Mahatma Gandhi once said, "When I despiar, I remember that all through history the way of truth and love has always won. There have been tyrants and murderers and for a time they seem invincible, but in the end they always fall - think of it, always.

Dala - Life on Earth - From Folk Alley

http://www.npr.org/2011/10/18/141457234/dala-sweet-and-gentle-harmony

The Blue Turban

By Manuwant Choudhary

Have you noticed European leaders avoid inviting Dr. Manmohan Singh...Dr. Singh has made most trips to the United States.

So I asked an EU MP and he confided it was because of his turban.

But why turban?

EU MP: You see its blue in colour.

Me: So what blue is a beautiful colour. I love blue shirts.

EU MP: No, no its not just the colour its also the turban.

Me: You mean Europe has become like France, no veils no turbans kind of policy.

EU MP: No, no, its not that. Dr. Singh is a gentleman.

Me: Then why? He is after all India's honestest Prime Minister.

EU MP: Look we value our ties with India but we just cannot invite him.

Me: Has that Anna Hazare asked you not to invite him?

EU MP: No, don't blame Anna.

Me: I would say if Anna wore a blue cap instead of white the Jan Lokpal Bill would have been passed.

EU MP: No this has nothing to do with the Jan Lokpal Bill.

Me: Then what? Is it that Arvind Kejriwal threatening you that they will campaign against European MPs?

EU MP: Arvind Kejriwal is an activist and we know how powerful he is...even slippers don't get him. And that poor fellow Prashant Bhushan gets bashed up in the Supreme Court for telling the truth about Kashmir.

Me: What truth? You see even Anna does not support his Team member Prashant Bhushan on Kashmir.

EU MP: Thats because Anna is scared of Balasaheb Thackeray.

Me: Why Balasaheb? Balasaheb has not visited Kashmir in his entire life. And that would mean Anna is intellectually corrupt? Should that also not come under the Jan Lokpal Bill?

EU MP: No, it seems you don't read wikileaks. WE know more about Indian politics than even the Indian people.

Me: How do you do that?

EU MP: we just take the Indian journalists to dinner at 5 star hotels and they tell us the juciest secrets that they do not write about.

Me: Is that so? So tell me the latest.

EU MP: Well, Digvijay Singh is better at shooting letters than shooting his mouth.

Me: I agree.

EU MP: That LK Advani is a tall leader so tall that even his chariot get stuck under bridges and trees have to to be removed across India for his yatra.

ME. What else you know?

EU MP: That Rahul Gandhi is getting married soon.

Me: Really? How come?

EU MP: He went for the Kind of Bhutan's wedding and after all he is the prince of India. But until then we are still worried about the blue turban.

Me: I know those hosiseries manufactured surplus blue turban material when Dr. Singh became PM but they remain unsold. Sikhs prefer wearing red and black like the Ranbaxy brothers ...see they built more hospitals in four years than Dr. Singh in ten years.

EU MP: Can you just ask Dr. Singh's wife to give him a pink turban.

Me: I did ask her once but she said Dr. Singh wears only blue.

EU MP: But why insist on blue? I know Montek Singh wears blue in India and purple in the United States.

Me. Well, even your EU flag is blue so whats your problem?

EU MP: You don't understand.

ME: Dr. Singh himself told students that he was always known as The Blue Turban.

EU: Thats what scares us?

Me: But why? Dr. Singh told me he likes blue because of his alma mater Cambridge..its their flag colour too!

EU: You dont have to wear your flag? Whatever happened to the flag code? Will he next wear the tricolour turban just because he loves the Congress Party.

Me: I think you are still not telling me anything?

Eu MP: Well, errr, eerrrrrr, I think I have to tell you that Nostradamus has predicted that
World War III will start when a man wearing a blue turban enters Europe.

Me: But Dr. Singh has not hurt a fly.

India's Poorest Pay Bribes

By Manuwant Choudhary

Rajiv Gandhi got it all wrong....India's poorest pay higher bribes than estimated - a bribe in his mothers name -- Indira.

The Indira Aawas Yojna or the Indira Housing Scheme is about providing basic shelter to India's poorest and over the years the fund available has been increased.

Now a poor family would get Rs.45,000/- or roughly 921 US dollars to build a house.

But in practice he gets much less.

First he has to pay Rs.7,000/- to a local village tout and then another Rs.500 to open a bank account, another Rs.200 for paperwork.

Following this the tout goes to the local mukhiya (village head) and after the mukhiya gets his cut then he signs on the documents approving that the person is poor and deserving.

Then Rs.20,000 is sanctioned to construct the house as a first installment.

Once this is done, then there is an inspection and then the rest Rs.25,000/- is sanctioned. This is to be used for the cement/concrete roof and windows and doors.

But since the poor family have already spent Rs.8,000 before in reality he gets only Rs.17,000/-

So if a poor person does not have the Rs.7000/- bribe then he will most certainly not even get the Indira Awas Yojna fund.

What the mukhiya does is that he grants the scheme to those who already have a house, they just whitewash their old homes and pocket the money.

A better way for `gareebee hatao' would be to send the money directly to the poor man's bank account and let him spend it on what he feels like.

The scheme is also faulty in that it takes away the property rights of the poorest. Having built the Indira Aawas he cannot sell his dwelling land.

Politics Is For The Mediocre

By Osho

If you are intelligent, why should you be in politics? It is for the stupid, for the mediocre.

The intelligent person will have much more important things to do - he won't be interested in dominating others. His whole interest will be in knowing himself. To dominate the other is a way of escaping from one's own inner meaninglessness, inner emptiness, and hollowness. It is an escape from oneself. The intelligent person is not an escapist.

Politics is an escape, a great escape. It keeps you so occupied day in, day out that you cannot find even a few minutes for yourself. Even when you sleep you think politics; it continues in your dreams. To be a politician is a 24-hour job. You cannot relax because if you relax you will be left behind. It is pure violence.

Honesty does not pay in politics. And even if sometimes a politician is honest, he is honest only if it pays, not for honesty's sake. The proverb that 'honesty is the best policy' must have been invented by a politician. Even honesty becomes a policy! How can honesty be a policy?

Honesty is religion, not a policy. You are honest for the sheer joy of being honest. You are honest even if you have to lose everything; it is worth losing everything. Honesty can never be a policy, but politics makes everything a policy. An honest person in politics? Impossible!

A politician named Strange lay on his deathbed. His lawyer was summoned. "As an epitaph, on my tombstone," he gasped, "i only want to have the words, `Here lies an honest politician'."

The lawyer protested, "How will people know who's buried under that stone?"

The old man nodded wisely. "Don't worry," he advised. "Folks will take one look at those words and they'll all say, 'That's strange!'" And Strange was the name of the politician...

Honesty needs guts. The politician has to wear masks, he has to fulfil the expectations of people, so whatsoever you want he pretends to be that. Whatsoever you want, he is ready to promise it. He goes on promising contradictory things to different people; his promise means nothing.

And the whole world complains about these politicians, but somehow man is so stupid that if he gets out of the clutches of one politician, immediately he enters into the cage of another.

Man has to be freed from his stupid mind; only then will he be free of the politicians. Hence politicians don't want you to be intelligent. For thousands of years they did not allow people to be educated because that was dangerous. Now they allow people to be educated, but the education is such that it makes you less intelligent.

When the child enters the school he is far more intelligent than when he comes back from the university. Those 20 years will destroy much that was immensely valuable. He will carry just words, jargon, theories, knowledge. He will have sold his intelligence and he will have brought home just dead knowledge.

The older generation tries to mould the mind of the new generation. The teacher is just an agent of the older generation. He is the agent: he corrupts the minds of the new, but the corruption is done with such skill that you will not become aware unless you are really alert, watchful.

Courtesy Osho International Foundation and Times of India Speaking Tree

Steve Jobs - My Tribute

By Manuwant Choudhary

God is definitely not Steve Jobs.

God is more likely to be someone like Bill Gates and so we have all the bacteria and viruses floating around. And Cancer.

Steve Jobs passed away recently and so this is my tribute to a great individual whom I never met and know him only through his gadgets I use.

I am not a techie nor do I care much about Silicon Valley.

Yet, computers have become a part of our lives in a way much like electricity.

I am more like the man on the street in rural India scared of technology and when they work I simply marvel.

Of course, I must be among the really privileged to use computers at St. Joseph's College, North Point, Darjeeling, way back in the eighties. We solved some very simple Mathematical problems on them and played some games!

But I would not say it was enough to take the fear out of me.

The first time I really felt how important computers had become when I went to apply for a trainee job at The Afternoon Despatch & Courier newspaper in Bombay and the editor Mr. Behram Contractor asked me, "Do you know how to use a computer?"

I replied, "Well. err, errr, I did something way back in school but no."

Editor, "Do you know how to use a typewriter?"

And I replied No.

Editor, "Then please go and learn how to type on a computer. Remember no notes, just think from your head and type straight onto the keyboard."

I joined a computer course for a month and still have no clue about softwares and hardwares and what all they explained. But after classes I would just type my love letters from my head.

Thats how I got my first job.

Occasionally as a reporter we would hear of Shammi Kapoor trying to promote the internet in Bombay and I wondered why. Was it because of him having some stake in Yahoo !

Chahe koi mujhe junglee kahe ...Yahoooo! is a song which was more famous than computers and the internet and search engines.

Once in a while someone would mention Apple and we would say What?

Among our friends Anurag Sharma was considered just next to Bill Gates in understanding computers.

Yet, as a reporter my editor once gave me an invite to cover a public meet. "Here, here go Manu Bill Gates is coming."

For me it was just another assignment until my Malabar Hill friends began calling up for extra passes.

And when I passed on some I was doing them a favour greater than India's Prime Minister.

So as I walked towards Navy Nagar with my `jhola' and a pen, hundreds of Mercs whizzed past me.

Only then did I realise that Bill Gates was the richest man in the world.

His talk was quite ordinary and at the end he announced that he would be donating a few hundred computers to poor school children perhaps to please shifty Congress politicians like Murli Deora.

I just reported.

My report was as ordinary as the talk.

What was brilliant was my editor Busybee's take on it all in his daily column Round & About on how Bill Gates went to meet his friend on the 21st Floor (Who was richer than Bill Gates).

Later while studying in the UK I decided to buy myself a computer after saving every penny.

So I go to the Computer Advisor on how to buy a laptop. And his advice was `Don't buy."

But I pleaded but why?

And he insisted that laptops don't work, they are not reliable, why don't you buy a desktop.

But how do I take a desktop back to India with me.

I just went and bought a Compaq laptop with a Windows 95 software.

It had a one-month guarantee. I was too busy with studies and when I used it first I realised there was a problem.

And then many long walks to the Computer Store.

The one month guarantee had lapsed.

They had a one year worldwide warranty and the Store explained how I had to call the helpline (international charges would apply)

Its only when I called and called and finally shouted that they gave me a new laptop.

And I walk back.

And the new computer also had the same problem. Windows would just not save!

I tell you how much I hate Bill Gates.

And then the viruses that would stare you in the face while you worked on the more serious threats to society - our politicians.

So when my compaq laptop finally died I did not buy a new one immediately.

I just did not feel like it until one day I see this MacBook Pro.

And so this tribute.

Thank you Steve.

Recession in India? What Recession?

PIX Manuwant Choudhary


Recession in India? What recession? Mercedez Benz has sold 22 of these beauties in India already in just a few months since they were imported from Germany. Cost somewhere around 3.5 crore rupees each! I can understand why our Prime Minister Dr. Manmohan Singh says India can lift the developed world out of their slump!

Vera Brezhneva's Real Life

Translation of this Russian Song

My tiny bird, you only see the sun on TV
Look out the window, I'm sending you a ray of light, catch it!
You know a lot about love from the Internet, definitely
But it's not your story, your tears are in vain
And the sun shines on everyone equally